Guidance
by HunnyABee
Summary: One moment changes Jani's life forever, even though she doesn't personally witness it. She and her baby sister, soon taken in by their cousin Sam, get thrown into a wolf den...and Jani might even fall in love with one of them. E/OC (as of 6/26/13: CURRENTLY REWRITING LAST TWO CHAPTERS. I'm thinking of continuing this story. Warning: Story in Embry's POV will be COMPLETELY CHANGED.)
1. Book One, Chapter 1

**Guidance**

**Book One ~ Janiya  
**

**Chapter One

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**_Note: I edited this because something about it bothered me. A review (which I thought very helpful and am glad for, actually) pointed out that Cali wasn't exactly acting seven-year-old-ish. Which I agree with. See, when I first wrote her out, she was supposed to be I think 3 years old. And I felt weird making her 3 because of a reason you'll see later on, so I made her 7, but I didn't change the events. Which was wrong. So now she's 5 years old. Compromise._

_Disclaimer: I do _not_ own _Twilight_ or any of its characters, etc. I _do_ own Cali, Jani, the events/people you don't recognize, and the fanfic. [This disclaimer goes for the rest of the story; it's not like I'll own the rights to _Twilight_ anytime soon, or ever.]__  
_

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"Cali! Come back here!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. My younger sister, named Calindra, was running up and down the stairs, laughing wildly. She was probably on a sugar rush, again. Only a five-year-old that seemed a bit too smart and too tall for her age, Cali was a precious doll when you could get her to stay still. That task was usually given to me, unfortunately.

"Nanny-nanny-boo-boo! Can't catch me!" she called back, blowing raspberries at me. I frowned and rolled my eyes. I was _not_ in a good mood. Mother and Father had been taking us around to see different houses for sale. We were moving, apparently, to be closer to some relatives on my father's side of the family that I'd never met. I wasn't exactly pleased. Oregon was fine. Why move to a rinky-dink town where there probably wouldn't even be a mall?

"Calindra! Janiya!" Mother called. I scooped up the giggling Calindra and rushed downstairs. On to the next house, I suppose. Cali's sandy hair tickled my face as she wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her face into my collarbone. Her eyelashes tickled my skin. I secured Cali in my arms and bounded out of the large house. Mother wanted something more into the town, anyway.

I saw Mother, light brown hair pulled into a loose bun, as she waited for us with Father near the car. I stepped into the backseat carefully, making sure not to bump Cali's head against the ceiling or jostle her in a way that would unsettle her. Mother and Father sat down and, quiet as always, we drove away, on to the next house. This one was closer to the middle of the small town—rather, Indian reservation—we were moving to. I didn't have any feelings about it either way, except that I'd probably be some stranger or outcast fairly easily and for a long time.

I should explain. My father's family grew up on this reservation, where everyone was dark, tall, with strong features. He left shortly after graduating from high school and getting into a big rift with his brother. I think he even changed his last name, or took Mother's; I wasn't exactly clear on that. My mother's family was from another reservation, where there were lighter skinned, daintier people with lighter coloring in hair and eyes. My sister and I, as a result, were tanned somewhere in between their colors. My sister had Mother's sandy hair, whereas I had a dark brown just a few shades lighter than Father's own black hair. Mother's hazel eyes and Father's obsidian ones were both beautiful, but we got neither. Apparently, we had our grandparents' eyes: deep brown, though some would say muddy. As Father was a tall man, my sister and I were destined to be of tall stature. Thankfully, Mother was dainty. We'd look perfect, or so my aunt used to tell me. I think that we'd be seeing our cousin in La Push, since our aunt and uncle hadn't been heard from in years. I wasn't even sure they still spoke to each other. But we knew our cousin lived there.

As I looked out the window, I saw the houses pass by. Soon, we were at a beach. I glanced at Mother quizzically. "Mother?" I asked. She looked back at me.

"Honey," she said, "take your cell phone. Your father and I are dropping you two off at First Beach to spend a while. I remember how you asked us, earlier today, if we could go."

I grinned. Then the smile fell. "But, wait, where are you two going?" I asked. "_Please_ tell me you're not still looking for stuff for the house, _when_ we find it?" Mother pursed her lips.

"We're heading to Seattle to the agency to see if they can help us locate other homes we might have missed," Father explained. "Then we're going to buy a few things and come back to find you two."

"So keep your cell phone and Calindra with you at all times!" Mother added, shooing us out. I rolled my eyes. I was only fourteen, yet they had made me grow up so fast. I was taking care of my sister daily for a long time now, so I felt like an old person whose company wasn't wanted.

"Alright, fine, fine," I grumbled, getting out of the car with Calindra in my arms. "No later than five thirty, and if it gets to that point, you call me, okay?" They gave an affirmative answer and sent me on my way. I watched the car head down the road and away. I smiled. My parents were tough, and they expected a lot of me, but they knew when to give me a break. House-hunting was boring. I looked down at Calindra, who was wondering where Mother and Father went.

"Jani?" she said, looking up at me with her big brown eyes. "Where's Mother and Father?" I couldn't help but snort at her attempt to say 'mother,' and 'father' in a sophisticated tone—it was weird hearing that from a five-year-old. I reached for her hand and she let me take it, her other hand holding her stuffed puppy.

"Mother and Father are going to do some work stuff," I said, trying to simplify it as much as possible. "We get to play and have fun! Yay!"

"Yes!" she squealed in delight. I smiled; she was too cute. We walked across the beach, and Cali was soon rushing for the water when we got close enough.

"Cali!" I shouted, panicking. I ran after her but, lucky me, I happened to twist my ankle just slightly. It made me fall to my knees, but the twist wasn't so bad that I couldn't stand again. "Cali, you get back here or you're in big trouble!" I was frantic. Calindra didn't know how to swim. I scrambled to my feet and ran to the water. As soon as I got there, I saw Calindra with a tan boy who was holding the hand of a little toddler girl. Cali was soaking wet, but she looked fine. Too bad her stuffed puppy was probably already lost at sea. The boy looked up at me as I approached. As he stood up, I saw he was a little taller than me and looked older. He was muscled, too.

"Is this your sister?" he asked. I looked down at Cali, giving her a reproachful glare. I looked back up to the guy.

"I'm sorry," I said automatically. "Yes, this is my sister. Thank you _so_ much for getting to her." I scooped her up into my arms and held her shivering frame against me. She buried her face in my neck.

He smiled. "No problem," he said, then looked down at the toddler beside him. "Claire does that, too. I'm Quil, by the way. Are you new in La Push?"

I nodded. "I'm Janiya," I replied. "My parents are looking for a house, but, yeah, we're new. This is Calindra, my five-year-old troublemaker." Quil gave a short laugh.

"Well, this is Claire," he said. "She's only two—but you know what they say, terrible twos and all. She's the niece of my friend's fiancée, and I usually baby-sit her." I smiled, looking down at the tiny, tired little tan girl with dark brown curls falling into her face.

"Jani, I'm cold," Cali complained in my ear. I frowned, holding her tighter to me.

"Who told you to go to the water?" I muttered under my breath.

"Something wrong?" Quil asked. I didn't exactly want to tell him my sister was cold—really, it was one thing to need help looking after your sister, but to admit you couldn't even keep her warm?

"Uh… Well, Cali's a little cold," I admitted.

"Well… How about you come to my friend's house? I have to take Claire back now, anyway," he said. "And it's lunchtime, so you must be hungry."

"Huh? But, you know, I wouldn't want to impose…" I mumbled. Quil laughed and picked up Claire, who was falling asleep.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "Emily loves having people over. She constantly has a bunch of us eating enough to feed a third world country." I snorted at that, then winced as I felt Cali shiver in my arms.

"Cali…" I cooed softly, rubbing her back, hoping to warm her with friction. "Come on, sweetie." I shivered, feeling the water soaking through my own clothes.

Quil looked a bit concerned. "Do you want me to carry her?" he asked.

"What?"

"Well, I tend to have a high temperature," he said quickly. He placed a hand on my shoulder and I felt the heat through my thin shirt. "And you seem like you're getting cold, too." I hesitated, then nodded. I told Cali told stand up for a minute, and she clung to my leg. Quil handed Claire to me to carry and took Cali in his arms. She snuggled up to him, and I saw her visibly relax.

"Wow," I muttered, I shook my head. "Whatever. So, we're going to this Emily's house?" Quil nodded, and soon we were walking a little away from the beach and in no time reached a nice little house. It wasn't big, but it was definitely not small. He burst through the front door.

"Emily!" he called. A young women, probably twenty or so, came out from the kitchen. She had three scars on one side of her face, and she was tan like Claire was. Her eyes flickered to me and to Cali before settling on Quil.

"What's this, Quil?" she asked. "What happened?" She sounded worried.

"Emily, don't worry," he said. "Claire's asleep. This is Janiya and her little sister, Calindra. Calindra's freezing, so we brought her back here. They're new in town." Emily immediately took Claire from my arms and Quil gave me a sleeping Cali. It was a miracle I could even carry the five-year-old.

"Follow me," Emily told me. I trailed behind her as she entered a room—I assumed a guest room—and laid Claire down to sleep. She took Cali from me and laid her on the bed as well, then covered them both with a quilt. I followed her back to the living room.

"I'm so sorry for intruding," I told her.

"Nonsense," she said, waving it off. "I like having guests, and you're not intruding. Your family's moving here? Then we'll definitely see you around." Emily smiled and I couldn't help but smile back. "So how old are you and your sister?"

"Cali is five and I'm fourteen," I replied. I saw her eyes widen slightly. Quil's head appeared from the doorway to the kitchen.

"Fourteen?" he mumbled through a mouthful of bread.

"Fourteen? You?" she repeated. I nodded. "You're so tall!" I chuckled.

"Five foot nine," I replied proudly.

"What?" Quil exclaimed. "No fair! I'm only two inches taller! I thought you were at _least_ sixteen, too!"

"Well, Quil, no offense, but you _are_ one of the shorter guys," Emily joked, laughing. Quil pouted.

"Wait, there's more freakishly tall people?" I said, my eyes growing to the size of saucers. Emily nodded. I squealed and happy danced—jumping up and down while clapping and squealing. Quil covered his ears.

"You were _definitely_ not this hyper when I met you," he whined. Emily laughed.

"I think you'll fit in well around here," she said.

"By the way, where _are_ the rest of them?" Quil asked.

"Well, they're out, er, working," Emily stuttered. I shrugged it off. "They should be back in time for lunch, though." Just as she said that, my stomach rumbled. I laughed nervously as Emily smiled and headed to the kitchen, probably to check on whatever she was making. Quil rolled his eyes with a smile and headed for the couch. No sooner had he sat down, the door opened and sounds of a large group of people echoed through the house. I headed for the kitchen and sat on a stool nearby, suddenly shy and wanting to disappear. It sounded like a bunch of teenage boys. That was not a good thing for me. Soon, a very tall, tan, muscled man burst into the kitchen and immediately went over to Emily, planting kisses over her scars and wrapping his arms around her waist. He was barefoot, wearing only cutoffs. He also had a tribal tattoo on his right shoulder. Emily was giggling and I decided to slip out and leave them to their moment. I left the kitchen quietly, looking around the corner. A blush crept up my neck at what I saw.

They definitely behaved like teenage boys. Tall, tan, and well muscled. Dark haired, all bearing the tribal tattoo on their right shoulders, and all wearing only cutoffs or sweats. I looked around the room. There were about eight or nine of them, mostly boys. There was one girl, though, who sat in the corner of the room, looking a bit intimidating. It was she who noticed me first.

"Who are you?" she called out, just loud enough for me to hear. The guys in the room all snapped their heads in my direction. I felt my face heating up as I tried to find my voice.

"That's Jani," Quil said, looking back at the TV uninterestedly.

"Who?" one of the other guys watching TV said. Emily seemed to appear at my side and took my hand, walking with me forward. I felt my throat close up. I was never good in front of crowds. The man that was with her was standing beside her, looking over at me.

"This is Janiya," Emily said. "Her family's moving to La Push, and she was just at the beach with her little sister, who's taking a nap right now." She sent them a look as if saying, _Leave it alone._ She turned to me. "Janiya—"

"You can call me Jani," I mumbled. She smiled.

"Jani, this is my fiancée, Sam Uley," she said. The man beside her gave a slight smile.

"Wait, Uley?" I blurted. Sam quirked a brow. "Sorry, sorry. It's just—well, that used to be my father's last name. Well, before he got into a fight with his brother and changed it." I shook my head. My eyes widened. "Oh! So that means _you're_ the cousin living in La Push!" I offered a smile and a nervous chuckle. "Hi…?"

To my surprise, Sam gave an amused smile. "Nice to meet my cousin, then," he said. I gave a sigh of relief under my breath, but I'm sure he heard it because his lips twitched, fighting a smile.

Emily instantly gave me a tight hug, even though it knocked the breath out of me. "Oh, so you're part of the family now!" I laughed airily and hugged her back, then she released me and I almost fell. She glanced back at the room of busybodies who were watching the exchange with amusement and shock. "These busybodies are our friends, like an extended family," she said, then went on to point at each and introduce me. "Of course, you met Quil earlier today. There's also Collin, Brady, Seth, Jared, Paul, and Embry—and Jacob, who should be arriving sometime later." I nodded, looking to each face and trying to remember it. I grinned—which must have looked somewhat evil—as I thought about how their personalities might be, based on their posture and appearance now.

"Why's she grinning evilly? I've met you for about half an hour and I've come to be afraid of that face," Quil said, mock-afraid. At this, my lips parted, exposing my white teeth as I continued grinning. "Ah! The evilness!" I gave a slight chuckle and rolled my eyes as some of the guys laughed.

"So, Sam," I said, turning back to him. "Out of curiosity, how old is my cousin?"

"Twenty-one," he answered. I nodded. "And, although I'm sure Emily will tell me it's improper to ask how old a lady is, what's your age?"

I smirked. "I'm fourteen, turning fifteen sometime later this year," I answered vaguely. "And before anyone comments, yes, I'm tall. Five foot nine. And Quil, stop whining."

"But it's so unfair!" he bawled. I smiled at his antics.

"So you must be from my family," Sam said. "We're all very tall. I take it, your father was?" I nodded. "Well, these are the guys, who will now stop staring at my cousin and will refrain from harassing her." He gave them an intimidating look. Most of them turned.

"Well, the food will be done in a while," Emily said. "You're joining us for lunch, right, Jani?"

"Definitely," I said. "I need to evaluate my future cousin-in-law's cooking skills!" We laughed.

"She's an amazing cook," Sam praised, staring at Emily like she was the sun and the center of his world. I saw the love between them, so gentle, in that moment. I excused myself and went to go, as some say, _mingle._

"Hey, Jani!" Quil called. I went over and cocked my head to the side, staring at him expectantly. "…What? Why are you staring at me like that! Stop it! WAH!" My lips twitched and my eyes watered. He was just like a big baby.

"_Quil_," a guy to his left, whom I recognized as the one named Embry, warned. "Don't make her _cry._" I was confused for a moment before realizing what he meant. When I laughed too much, or tried not to laugh, my eyes would water. I smirked internally and buried my face in my hands, pretending to go along with the act.

"Jani?" Quil said. "Jani! I'm so, so sorry! Don't cry! What did I do? Don't cry!" I let myself shake slightly, letting my silent laughter take over. My entire body was vibrating—that's how much I was trying to keep from laughing. My tears had overflowed, and I covered my face to hide my grin. I felt someone pull me to sit down on the couch, then wrap a comforting arm around me while Quil continued spewing apologies. I could no longer hear the normal chatter and commotion, so I figured everyone else was paying attention. I felt butterflies in my stomach and nervousness spread through me. I didn't want _this_ big of an audience. "Jani! I'm _so_ sorry!" Quil continued.

I inhaled through my nose sharply and took my hands off my face, noticing that someone was holding me to their chest comfortingly. I looked over my shoulder at Quil and gave an evil smirk. He shrieked and fell off the sofa. Then he glared at me playfully from the floor as I burst out into laughter. The other guys in the room joined in as they realized it was an act. I had tears running down my face from laughing and keeping my laughter quiet. I shifted slightly, and it was then that I noticed Embry was the one who had pulled me in for a hug. Now, he was looking at Quil and trying to hold back his laughter, though a few amused chuckles escaped him. I moved away from him subtly, though I'm sure he noticed. He didn't really say anything about it, though, like I said, I'm sure he noticed—I saw an emotion, I'm not sure which, flicker through his eyes. Something was weird about him… He was in my peripheral vision, so I didn't dare look at him. There was something about him that I couldn't place my finger on… He was like an enigma, so to speak. A mystery.

I was pulled out of my reverie by someone snapping their fingers impatiently in my face. I looked up to see one of the younger guys, Brady, I think.

"Hey, she's alive!" he teased. I stuck my tongue out at him. He grinned. "In case you don't remember, I'm Brady. Nice to meet you." I smiled and shook his hand. It was warm—very warm, much like Quil was. So it wasn't just Quil, then. Something was up.

"Uh oh, she looks like she's planning something," a voice to my left said. Seth, I think it was. He was lanky and tall, and his hair was longer than the others. He had a really bright smile, and I couldn't help but smile back, a bit overwhelmed. I stuck my tongue out at him, too.

"Really, you're fourteen?" Brady asked, taking a seat on my right, in between Embry and I. Embry turned his head, jaw clenched. What was _that_ about? He was acting like some overprotective big brother.

"What's it to ya?" I replied. Brady grinned.

"See, Collin and I are thirteen," he said. "And—"

"Wait, you're thirteen?" I repeated, glancing at him and at Collin, who leaned on the back of the couch. _They're surrounding me! No! _I laughed internally. They laughed.

"Yup," Collin said cheekily, a grin on his face. "Seth is fourteen, so he's a little older and thinks he's better than us." He meant the last part as a taunt, aiming it at Seth.

"I never said that!" Seth grumbled, a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes.

"You're all insane," I muttered. Then I brightened up. "I like you guys." They all laughed, and I had to resist the urge to shield my ears from the volume. "But you're a bit immature for my taste, so I'm out."

I smirked at them and stood up, gliding away from the couch and their defeated faces. I could swear I heard Embry chuckle. I headed over to where Paul and Jared were, wondering if they were going to be as odd as the last boys I met. They looked up as I approached. Jared looked reserved, like Embry, and smart. Paul looked a bit aggressive and intimidating, but there was something about him that told me he'd be a good big brother. Either that, or he was an ass. Both were acceptable.

"Hey," I said, the evil smirk still on my face. "So are you guys gonna act as…oddly, for lack of a better word, as the rest of the guys? Or the majority of them, at least."

Paul rolled his eyes. Jared gave an amused grin. "So, Squirt, you're Sam's cousin, eh?" Paul said. My eye twitched.

"_Squirt?_" I spat. His face twisted into a smirk. "Where do you get off calling me _Squirt?_ If you haven't noticed, you're not the tallest guy in the room." He scowled and glared at me, and I glared defiantly back. Jared glanced between us. Then, almost at the same time, grins spread over both my face and Paul's. He let out a chuckle, and I heard some other people in the room exhale in relief. I looked around curiously. What was _that_ about?

"You're not so bad, kid," Paul said. I gave a slight nod.

"You're not so horrible, either, Polly Pocket," I replied.

"Nice," Jared said in appreciation, and we bumped fists. I smiled.

"You two aren't as bad as _those_ three," I told them, referring to Seth, Brady, and Collin, even though they'd really done nothing. But, hey, I'd mess with them for a while longer.

"Hey!" the three all shouted indignantly across the room. I grinned—I couldn't seem to stop doing that today.

I headed to the kitchen to help Emily. She was taking something out of the oven—about four giant chickens, actually. I offered to help, but all she said was that she needed me to serve myself so that the guys could attack the food and be done with it. I almost laughed at the thought of all those guys attacking the food like a pack of hungry wolves. After I had eaten, she and I took all the food out to the tables and the guys came and, like she said, devoured the food.

Currently, I was standing in front of the tables with my eyes wide open, wondering where all the food went. Behind me, I heard a laugh. I looked over my shoulder at Embry.

"You'd better get used to that," he said good-naturedly, ruffling my hair. He was taller than Quil was—about four inches taller than him, therefore six inches taller than me. Odd. "We eat like pigs, I know."

"Actually," I said, ducking under his arm and fixing my hair, "you looked like a pack of wolves devouring the pigs that were eating the food." He stiffened for a moment before he grinned. His grins seemed, to me, like soft smirks. Again, odd. "How old is everyone, by the way?"

"Well, Jared, Paul, Quil, and I are sixteen," he said. "As you know, Collin and Brady are thirteen, and Seth is fourteen. Leah is twenty, Emily's around there. Jacob—you'll meet him later—is sixteen, too." As soon as he said that, we heard the door open and shut, and greetings were being issued. "Speaking of Jacob…" Embry trailed off. He motioned for me to follow him, and I saw a very tall—the boys here were either tall or very tall—guy who looked like an older version of Seth, somewhat. I didn't know how to describe him. But he was taller than even Sam, and he had muscles to match. By this point, I was beginning to wonder what that tribal tattoo was for. Even Leah, who had left earlier, had one on her left shoulder.

"Well?" Quil asked Jacob after everyone resumed their activities. I couldn't help but hear. Quil and Jacob were sitting on the couch, as was Embry, and I was sitting at the nearby armchair, staring at the wall for the past ten minutes. I couldn't see them out of the corner of my eyes because I was looking at the wall, but I knew where they were.

"She picked up," Jacob said. "She was somewhere, apparently." My brows furrowed. I wasn't one to be nosy…but this sounded strange.

"You gonna give the message tomorrow?"

"Definitely," Jacob scoffed. "The leech will be with her, and there will be witnesses. It's foolproof."

"Good thing, too," Embry added.

"Just what's _that_ supposed to mean?" Jacob snapped. Quil and Embry snickered, and I couldn't help but snort. That was a mistake. "Who's the girl, by the way?" I tensed. Jacob meant _me._ I didn't really want to draw attention to myself at the moment. I pretended like I couldn't hear them, and continued staring at the wall.

Quil all but giggled. "She's—"

"_Shut up!_" Embry hissed quietly. He whispered something to them, but I couldn't hear it. I frowned. There goes my entertainment. I began humming under my breath, a little song I remembered listening to in the car.

That reminded me. I dug my hand into the pocket of my jeans for my cell phone. I flipped it open and was disappointed to see there were no missed calls or messages from my parents. It was three in the afternoon. I didn't think they'd really go all the way to five o'clock. I dialed my mother's number and pressed the phone to my ear. Once, twice, three times. Voice mail. I redialed. Again, it went to voice mail. I called my father's number. The same thing happened. I was beginning to panic. I could practically hear my heartbeat racing and my head began to hurt a little. _It's probably nothing_, I thought.

I was distracted momentarily when I saw Jared and Paul heading out. "Hey!" I called after them. I got up from the armchair and headed over to them. They glanced at me. I pouted. "No huggie?" I asked in the most childish voice I could muster. They exchanged a look and rolled their eyes, smiling good-naturedly. I gave Jared a hug first, sticking my tongue out at Paul and grinning. Then I gave Paul a hug, laughing when he spun me around. "Bye-bye, Jare-Bear! Bye-bye, Polly Pocket!" I called after them as they left to who knows where. I heard some laughs coming from the living room.

"Well, she's certainly interesting," I heard Jacob say as I entered the room. I pouted when I saw that Seth was falling asleep on the armchair I'd _just_ left. I looked at the couch that Quil, Jacob, and Embry occupied. I decided to take my chances.

"Scooch," I sang, sitting on the armrest of the couch and crossing my arms behind my head. I resumed wall-watching and humming, oblivious to the three boys watching me strangely—or so I assumed they were doing.

"Hey, Jani," Quil said. I looked over to him, my neck cracking as I snapped my head over too quickly.

"Ah," I muttered, my hands at my neck.

"Are you okay?" Embry asked, concerned.

"Yeah, fine," I replied, grabbing my head and turning it over to crack my neck again. The sound was loud to my ears. "That was just very unexpected." I shrugged. "You were saying, Quilt?"

"Yes, this is—" he paused and scowled in my direction. "Quilt? Really?" I grinned unabashedly. "Whatever. Anyways, this is Jacob. I'm sure you heard a thing or two about him." I looked at Jacob. Very big guy, very well built.

I shook my head to clear it. "Well, I've heard he's sixteen—_somehow_, but, then again, so are you two," I said. "That's about it."

I heard a buzz and almost tripped when I jumped from the armrest. My phone was vibrating. I would've fallen to the floor if not for Embry. I nodded my thanks to him and reached for my phone in my pocket. I opened it and there was a text message from my mother.

'_We luv u'_, it read. I froze. Why would they send me such a vague message? And why by text? Why so random? My head was spinning.

"What's wrong?" Embry asked. I looked up at him. He looked really worried. "You look like something's happened. Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't find words. What was I going to say, anyway? I didn't even know what to make of this. I looked back down at the text message. Something didn't feel right.

"Something's wrong," I muttered. I shook my head and brushed past Embry and the rest, heading for the room where Cali was. I wondered if she was awake. I just needed to hold her right now. When I entered the room, Cali was still sleeping, as was Claire. I sat down by her and looked down at my beautiful little sister. She was so precious, so innocent. I stroked her hair, kissed her forehead, and held her hand as she slept. Something felt wrong, very wrong. I felt a few tears leave my eyes and slip down my cheeks. My throat tightened. It felt like I knew something horrible happened, but I didn't know what.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and the bed dipped slightly. Embry. I should've known. I tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. Embry looked worried, looked sad.

"What happened?" he whispered.

I shrugged, looking back at my little sister, who had no idea of any misfortunes in the world. My frame shook from repressed sobs. Embry took my hand softly and led me out of the room so I wouldn't wake the two young girls. As soon as we were in the hallway, I knew I was going to start crying. I hated crying in front of people. I ran down the hallway and before anyone could react, I sped out of the house and slammed the door. I felt really bad about it, but I didn't want to cry. I needed to pull myself together. But, why, then, did I feel like I got worse the further from the house I got? When I had run out of the house, I caught one of the guys asking Embry what happened. I wondered if he was going to come find me. Would Sam? Emily? Quil? I ran to the edge of the woods and a bit further in. Tears already made tracks on my red face and my chest felt like it was about to explode from all the running I did. I could no longer run, so I clung to a tree. I slid down the tree and fell to the ground, shaking violently from the sobs I tried to repress.

Suddenly, I felt two warm, comforting arms around me. I didn't need to guess to know who this was. I leaned into his embrace and cried. I buried my face in his chest and let myself sob quietly, let myself cry. I knew my parents were dead. I hated it, but I always had gut feelings like this. When it was bad, I was usually right. My parents don't casually throw around _I love you_'s. They say it at holidays, birthdays, and when they have to go on extended trips. _Never_ have they texted it to me, and _never_ has my mother texted _anything_ to me without proper spelling and grammar. It didn't help that Seattle wasn't as safe as I'd like to believe.

When I stopped sobbing and was in a state of shock and confusion, I just sank into the warmth of Embry's arms. Without knowing, I'd made him my best friend. I couldn't cry in front of anyone else—not even my little sister. The sudden realization hit me so hard that I almost fell back.

"Are you better now?" I looked up at Embry, to his warm brown eyes. I felt so helpless. I nodded, like a good little child, and stared straight ahead. "Do you wanna head back to Emily's now?" Again, I nodded. I couldn't find the will to move, though. Embry sighed. I felt the floor disappear for a minute before I noticed Embry holding me behind my knees and my back. I wound my arms around his neck and clung to him, tears still falling, but less than before.

When we reached Emily's house, only Emily, Sam, and Quil were there. I wondered for a split second where the others went, but the thought was pushed out of my mind when Embry laid me down on the couch. He was about to go when I grabbed his wrist and looked up at him pleadingly. He nodded and sat on the couch, adjusting my legs so they were over his lap. I leaned against the couch and closed my eyes. Tears still brimmed at the edges of my eyelids, but I didn't cry. Instead, I used those tears to wet my eyelashes. I tried curling my eyelashes by pushing them up with my finger, like I did when I was sad or nervous.

"Are you okay, Jani?" Emily said. I opened my eyes slowly and turned my head. She took my hand and looked at me curiously. "What happened?" I couldn't speak. I didn't want to say it out loud for fear that it might make it all the more real. Instead, I reached into my pocket for my cell phone and went straight to the inbox. I handed her the phone, displaying the text message my mother had sent me. She handed to Sam and Quil, confused. Embry took it last, glancing at it, then me.

"What's up, Jani?" Embry said softly. I looked up at him, feeling like a puppy.

"I have a bad feeling about this," I replied, just as softly.

"What do you mean?"

"Mother and Father don't throw around those words. Those words are for holidays and special occasions or times when we know we're not going to see each other for a long time," I whispered. "Mother doesn't text me—barely—and if she has to, she uses proper grammar and spelling. She was in a hurry."

It was quiet for a moment. Sam spoke up first. "Where are your parents, Janiya?"

I inhaled deeply. "Seattle."

The word rang out in the grim silence. The silence itself was too loud. I knew that something horrible happened. The last time I felt this bad, I was younger and it was before my grandmother died. I desperately hoped my parents weren't dead and lying somewhere in an alley in Seattle. It felt like that was all I needed, all that was left to reduce me to a puddle.

No one said anything. After a while, Claire's mother came to take her home, and Quil helped her, carrying the sleeping toddler. It was six. Mother and Father hadn't called. I hadn't spoken since that last word, and Embry hadn't moved from his spot. Emily tried to get me to talk, but Sam told her that I'd snap out of it when I was ready. For the most part, I stared at the wall again, paying attention to nothing else. Even I turned my head, however, when I heard Calindra calling my name. She was standing in the hall, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, holding her stuffed puppy. I immediately stood and ran over to her, gathering her in my arms and holding her tight.

"Are you hungry, sweetie?" I asked her. She nodded slowly, still half-asleep. I looked up at Emily. "Would you mind too horribly if I asked you to feed her?"

"Of course not," she replied. "I'll make her something quick, and you can give it to her." I nodded and lifted Calindra up, balancing her on my hip as I adjusted my hold on her. I carried her over to the couch where I was previously. She clung to me, as if she knew I was falling apart. I almost smiled.

"That's your little sister?" I looked up to see Embry sitting next to me, glancing at Calindra. I nodded.

"Embry, this is Calindra. Cali, this is Embry," I introduced. Cali looked up at him and smiled.

"He's cute!" she squealed. I'm sure my face was one of horror. I heard Sam chuckling from the kitchen. Embry laughed nervously, and I'm sure I was red. Embry was kind of embarrassed, too. The worst, though, came with her next line. "Don't you think so, Jani?"

I was blushing furiously by this point, and glaring at Cali reproachfully. Thankfully, I didn't have to answer because Emily came in with a bowl of food. I smiled appreciatively and picked up the spoon. She'd made quick mashed potatoes and chicken—she was a saint! Cali's stomach rumbled, so I went to work feeding her.

"Do you usually take care of your sister?" Sam asked.

"Usually," I replied with a sigh. "I've been taking care of her more and more over the years. It started when I was about eight and she was one." I shrugged.

"Since you were that young?"

"That's what I get for being a smart little kid," I muttered. "Plus, it wasn't like we were unsupervised. Practically all of the time, there was someone in the room with us."

"So, Janiya," Sam said hesitantly. "If you don't mind me asking, what are you going to do?"

"About…my parents and my situation?" He nodded. I shrugged. "I don't really know. We don't have a house, I'm not emancipated… My uncle's AWOL, my aunts are dead and so are my grandparents… I guess I don't know yet. I'll figure something out, even if it's just so Cali can live alright."

"Nonsense!" Emily said. "You're staying here! Both of you!" I was stunned into silence for a second or so.

"But I couldn't impose—"

"You're Sam's cousin! Family! You're not imposing! Argument failed, you're staying with us," Emily concluded. Sam smiled and looked at her adoringly. I sighed.

"Okay," I said, giving a smile. Then I frowned. "Ugh. All my _stuff_. Gone!" Embry laughed lightly and I smiled as I looked at him.

"More food! Hel-_lo!_" Calindra complained, crossing her arms. "I'm old enough to feed myself. Why can't I feed myself?" We all laughed at that as I relinquished the spoon to her control.


	2. Chapter 2

**Guidance**

**Chapter Two**_

* * *

*Edited—Cali's five years old._

* * *

That night, I would sleep comfortably in the old guest room that would become my and Calindra's room until the other guest room could be cleaned out. Emily had lent me some clothes—that were a bit short on me, but still fit fine—and a big t-shirt for Cali, then said we'd be going shopping tomorrow. I told her I was supposed to go to school tomorrow, and she was surprised to learn that I'd skipped a grade level, but oddly pleased at the same time. She assured me that I would go to school on Tuesday, and that we'd use tomorrow to shop for clothing—in Port Angeles, though, _not_ Seattle. I was a little upset when Embry had to go. He was growing me on—he was like a best friend, now. I needed a best friend, too.

Calindra looked up at me when I sat on the bed. She was waiting for me, so I could hum a lullaby to her so she could fall asleep next to me. I saw her eyes, holding questions, gaze at me, as if I had all the answers to those questions.

"Jani?" she asked.

"Yes, Cali?"

"Where's Mother and Father?" I stiffened. I didn't know what to tell her. I, myself, was avoiding even thinking about that. I knew she had to know—she would never give up questioning—but how would she react? I knew there would be tears, from both of us. But I just had to tell her. I walked around the room, turning off the light so that the moonlight shone through the window and dimly lit the room. I got under the covers and pulled Cali to my chest, holding her tightly as if she would drift away if I didn't. She snuggled up to me and buried her face in my neck.

"Mother and Father…" I began. Those titles seemed so impersonal, but that's what we grew up calling them. "Mom and Dad…they aren't coming back, Cali." There was silence, then Cali moved and looked up at me, those big brown eyes full of sadness and confusion. It was like she _knew_, just as well as I did, that our parents were dead.

"Jani," she said quietly. "I had a nightmare today."

I held her closer and stroked her hair. For being only fourteen, I sure felt like a mother. "Tell me, Calindra," I said softly. "Tell me all about it so I can try and make the pain go away."

"I had a nightmare," she repeated. "I had a nightmare about Mommy and Daddy." I closed my eyes, feeling a tear slip out as I did.

"What happened to Mommy and Daddy?"

"Mommy and Daddy…" Her voice was colored by sadness and pain. "Mommy and Daddy were in the car…"

"What happened to the car?" I asked, feeling my voice become husky with tears, like Calindra's.

"A mean person," Calindra said. For a minute, I was confused. "They picked up the car and hit Mommy and Daddy's car with it." I exhaled. She must have meant a car crash. I didn't feel like correcting her right at the moment, though.

"Then what happened?"

I heard her sniffle. "Then the pale, mean people took Mommy and Daddy away from the car," she continued. "Then they… Then—then—then…" Her sniffles came quicker, and soon she was sobbing. Not wailing yet, but sobbing quietly and hiccupping.

"Sh, shh, shh," I murmured, rocking her as best I could. "I'm here, I'm here… Don't cry, it was only a nightmare… I'm here, I'm here…"

"They—they bit them," Calindra sobbed. I nearly jolted from confusion. _Bit_ them? What kind of weird dreams was she having?

"They bit them?" I asked softly, silently prodding her to continue.

Calindra nodded into my chest and wiped her tears on the shirt. "And—and Mommy and Daddy were—they were bleeding…and screaming…" She let out a wail, and I shushed her and tried to calm her. We didn't need Emily and Sam in here, too, wondering about why she was crying. I hoped they'd leave us be for the moment.

"Ssh, baby, it's okay, Cali," I soothed. I kissed her forehead. "I'm here, I'm here. You're all right…" I couldn't say the same about our parents.

"Then—then the mean people broke Mommy and Daddy… They broke their necks…" she continued. I had to admit, I was proud that she tried to finish even when she was breaking down. But was it really the best for her? "They—they _ate_ them!"

"What?"

"They bit them!" she sobbed. "Mommy and Daddy were dead… The blood…they drank it… They ate them!" For a moment, this started to sound like a vampire novel… But she couldn't mean that, could she? I don't think she even knows what a vampire is—if she does, she didn't use that word.

"Honey, honey, calm down," I said. I couldn't do anything. I just held her until the tears stopped. She still sniffled, and buried her face in my neck. I held her tightly, wanting nothing more than to take away the pain. "Mommy and Daddy—I don't know where they are. But that was just a dream, Cali, baby. Just a dream. Don't worry, it isn't real—"

"Yes, it is!" she complained, suddenly angry. She pulled away from me and glared at the bed sheets. "It happened! Mommy and Daddy are dead! I just know they are! I can feel it!" Cali began to sob again, and I pulled her into my arms. I wondered… Did Cali just happen to have a hunch for things like this, like I did? Whether or not her dream was reality—and I was starting to have doubts on whether it wasn't—she knew Mother and Father were dead.

"Cali…" I whispered. "It's going to be okay. We're going to be okay." I had to be strong for my sister. "We're living with Emily and Sam, our cousin."

She sniffled. "We're living here?"

"Yes, sweetie," I said.

"…but no Mommy and Daddy?"

I pressed my cheek to hers, holding her even tighter. I wanted so badly to fill the void our parents had left in her heart, in her life, but I couldn't. "No."

Her lower lip trembled, and tears flowed down her face, but she didn't sob. She just held onto me. "…are you going to leave me, too?" Her voice, her question—they broke my heart. I felt my throat tighten and my chest constrict. My little sister, only nine years younger, needed me just as I needed her.

"I'm never _ever_ going to leave you," I promised. "_Never._ We're sisters. I've been taking care of you for years, and I'm not quitting now."

She snuggled into my side and buried her face in my neck. "I love you, sissy," she said.

"I love you, too, sissy," I whispered, covering us with the quilt and blankets. As long as we had each other, we'd survive—I just knew it.

* * *

In the morning, Emily dragged Cali and I, along with a girl named Kim who was Jared's girlfriend, to Port Angeles. We'd ended up buying clothing for Emily and Kim as well as for my sister and I. I also got some school supplies and a notebook. We ate a restaurant before heading back to Emily's house—_home_, I should say—and dropping Kim off. She promised to look for me at the high school in La Push where, thanks to my grade-skipping skills, we'd be in the same grade level. That day passed uneventfully, with only a few of the guys coming over in the afternoon. I was mostly excited for the next day, especially since, out of all those who still attended high school, Kim was the only one who knew I skipped a grade, and she promised not to tell Jared. I would have a lot of fun surprising them tomorrow when I showed up in their math class.

* * *

The next day, Emily took me to school early. She was in on the whole surprise thing, and she told me they wouldn't be there this early. We were in and out of the office. The lady at the desk simply gave me my schedule, a little map of the school—not that it's a big school—and congratulated me, saying there weren't many grade-skippers around here. She gave me a warm welcome and told me to come see her if I had any problems or questions. After that, Emily gave me a hug and left, saying that I should probably head to the cafeteria and then to homeroom when it was time. She said that the guys usually hang out in the courtyard, so that I should avoid going there. And Emily also said that I should get to homeroom right when the bell rings. However, the last one would bring a lot of attention to myself from people I didn't know—I wasn't sure if I could handle that; I got butterflies in the pit of my stomach just thinking about it.

I was in the cafeteria, just sitting at a table in the back, staring at the clock. Fifteen minutes before it was time to get to homeroom, I slung my backpack on and went to go look for my class. I knew where it was—I had passed by it on my way to the cafeteria—so I didn't hurry. When I reached the door of the classroom, the bell rang. I took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

The teacher looked at me. He was a bespectacled middle aged man, slightly tan, with balding dark gray hair. He gestured for me to come to his desk. The rest of the classroom was still making a commotion, so I wasn't noticed yet. Still, I couldn't help but feel my chest constrict and panic fill me when I walked over to his desk.

"Ms. Janiya Caldwell, correct?" the teacher asked. I nodded as I couldn't speak. "Welcome to La Push High School. I'm Mr. Anderson, by the way. If you don't mind me asking, which grade did you skip?"

I inhaled deeply, trying to calm my nerves. "Seventh," I replied.

"Ah, very good," he said. Then he turned his attention to the class and quieted them. I didn't look to the class, but kept my eyes on the ground. I'm sure I was blushing—I could feel my heart in my chest, slamming against my ribcage. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack, like I was going to asphyxiate any moment. I almost missed Mr. Anderson introducing me to the class. I looked up and immediately recognized, to my relief, Embry, sitting in the back with Quil. Both of them were watching me with mixed expressions of either shock, surprise, confusion, or amusement. I grinned when I saw Embry smile and Quil wave his arms ridiculously. Of course, they were in the back, so no one saw that. It was weird seeing them fully clothed. Some other students, I vaguely noticed, were watching me with interest or some other emotions I didn't focus on, and others were simply bored.

"Ms. Caldwell, I'm terribly sorry, but the only available seat is next to Mr. Ateara," Ms. Anderson said.

"That's alright, Mr. Anderson," I replied as sweetly and politely as possible. "He's a close friend of the family, so I'm sure I'll be alright."

"Good, then," he said, giving a grin. He waved me away, and I headed to my seat. Almost immediately, I was squished to death by an overactive Quil.

"Squirt! What are you _doing_ here?" he squealed. I squirmed in his grasp, trying to free myself. Embry was the closest one, in the desk next to me, so I reached out to him to help me. He grabbed my hands and pulled me out of Quil's grasp and into a hug.

"So, Jani, when were you going to tell us you skipped a grade?" he said, letting go of me. I sat down next to Quil, eying him warily.

"I figured this was a good way," I replied cheekily. Then I looked over at the empty seat next to Embry. "I thought he said the only available seat was next to Quil—which reminds me, don't call me that! Only Paul calls me Squirt."

Embry's hand twitched for a second. "Jacob usually sits next to me, but he ditched class today," he said.

"Is it normal for Jacob to skip class?" I asked.

"Sometimes. He skipped yesterday, too." He left it at that, and Mr. Anderson told everyone to take our their books and read. I rolled my eyes. Just like middle school.

I reached into my backpack and took out my novel. Emily had bought me some books when we went to Port Angeles, this book being one of them. I was almost done with this particular book—it wasn't long, not by my standards. After I'd read a chapter, Quil tapped me on the shoulder.

"What?" I hissed. I hated when people interrupted me. Quil recoiled slightly, cowering. I rolled my eyes and repeated the question more politely. "What? What is it, Quil?"

"What are you reading?" he asked. My eye twitched. He interrupted me just to ask that? I exhaled and calmed down.

"I'm reading _Night Runner_, can't you read?" I said.

"What's it about?"

"Vampires." I left it at that.

"_Vampires?_" he repeated, a look of disgust on his face. "Ew. How could you read something about _bloodsuckers?_"

I scoffed. "Chill out, Quil," I said. "It's not like vampires actually exist." His lips twitched. "This is about a kid who was in a mental institution because that's the only place he could be looked after, because he developed some weird allergies after his parents died. He finds out that he's actually a vampire, that it's not a sickness. It's interesting. Now shut up."

Quil rolled his eyes and laid his head on his desk. Figures. He was probably a jock, and didn't read. As much as I've grown to like him, he was weird.

"Vampires, huh?" Embry said quietly. We couldn't exactly talk at normal volume or Mr. Anderson would hear us. I couldn't decipher the look in his eyes or his expression.

"Yup, vampires," I repeated. He snorted.

"What about other supernatural creatures?" he said abruptly. My brows furrowed in confusion. What was he getting to?

"Like?"

Embry hesitated. "Werewolves. Or fairies and witches," he added quickly. I didn't quite understand. There was something weird going on. I shrugged it off for the moment.

"Fairies are a little weird," I admitted. "Witches are, eh, so-so."

"What about werewolves?"

I grinned. "Werewolves are alright."

"Then why not read a werewolf book?" Quil asked. I almost jumped when I heard him interrupt.

"There aren't enough good werewolf books," I muttered hotly. "Vampire books… There are a _lot_ of good ones. You don't find that with werewolves. Simple as that. End of discussion."

After that, they didn't talk anymore. I had that suspicious feeling creep up on me and settle in the back of my mind, but I wasn't sure what about. My gut feelings had been helping me in life for as long as I could remember—not everyday, but for the big, life-changing things. Something was up.

When the bell rang for the first class, I checked my schedule: Homeroom, English 2, Biology, Spanish 2, Lunch, History, Algebra 2, Music. Embry and Quil snatched it from me and read it when we left the classroom.

"Whoa! What's with all the advanced classes? And how come you're in a higher math class?" Quil complained.

"In my middle school, they put the gifted level students in Algebra when they're in seventh. They also put them in Earth and Space Science in eighth grade," I explained, shrugging. "Since I skipped seventh grade, they had to move it back; meaning, I had Algebra in eighth grade instead of seventh. So it began, so it continues." I took back my schedule, a bit upset that they wouldn't be in all my classes.

"Well, we have the first class together," Embry said. I immediately brightened and flashed him a grin. He looked pleased.

"I think Jared has that class with Kim, too," Quil said. He frowned. "I'm stuck in Geometry by myself… Damn." I laughed.

"Quil, Geometry's easy. You'll pass that class fast, don't worry," I assured him.

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled. "See you guys later." He turned down a hallway and left me and Embry to head to English by ourselves. I followed Embry to class, wondering what to expect. My classes at my old high school in Oregon were okay, and no one picked on me because I was in a class with people of different ages. Here, though, I didn't doubt I'd be the youngest. Embry, after all, was in my class.

"Poor Quil," I muttered. "So what are we doing in English?"

"We finished reading some book about the Holocaust last I heard," Embry replied as we walked into class. I went to go tell the teacher who I was and she told me to sit wherever there was a seat empty. Embry pulled me along to the back of the room, yet again, where Jared and Kim were.

"Kimmy!" I squealed. She looked up at me and waved. Jared followed her gaze and glanced at me, confused.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in middle school?" he chided, a smile on his face. I stuck my tongue out at him. "My point exactly." I glared at him, but couldn't help laughing.

"I'm technically supposed to be in ninth, you know," I deadpanned. Jared only grinned cheekily.

"Skipped a grade," Embry informed him, sitting down in the desk in front of him. I sat down in front of Kim, next to Embry.

"Hey, Jani," Kim called. "We're having a bonfire in two weeks. You wanna come?"

"Definitely," I promised. After that, the late bell rang and the teacher began the lesson.

* * *

"Ugh, school sucks," I muttered, plopping down into the seat at an empty round table in the cafeteria. I set the tray down haphazardly and held my head in my hands.

"It gets better," Embry said, a hand on my shoulder. I looked up just as the rest of the gang sat down at the table. Quil sat next to Embry who sat on my right. Seth sat at my left, then there was Brady, Collin, and an empty space, then Paul, Jared, and Kim, and an empty space between her and Quil.

"What's wrong, Jani?" Kim asked. Jared snaked his arms around her waist, and I could see her blush contentedly. For some reason, it made me feel empty. I stared at her blankly.

"In my old school, classes were way more fun," I mumbled, taking a sip from my drink. Kim giggled. Jared was planting kisses on her cheeks—all over her face, really. My brows furrowed as I contemplated the action. They looked, I daresay, very much in love. Kim looked like she'd died and gone to heaven, and Jared was just fascinated by her in general.

"Careful, Kim, you might have competition," Paul taunted, looking in my direction. I blew a raspberry at him.

"Shut up, Polly Pocket," I muttered. Still… I looked over at the couple again. My lips pursed, and I smiled. "They're cute together…"

"A bit _too_ cute, if you ask me," Collin whined. For a moment, I wondered why he and Brady were here. I mean, they were thirteen, and should have been in eighth grade. But then I remembered Emily saying something about how the middle school was nearby, if not practically sharing the campus, and they had taken to eating lunch with us. Still, it was kind of weird.

"We're trying to _eat_ over here!" Brady added to Collin's statement. I rolled my eyes. The guys ate _really_ quickly and _really_ messily. Like wolves.

For some reason, that struck a chord in me. I shook my head free from those thoughts. I didn't understand what my subconscious was trying to tell me.

"You okay, Jani?" Quil asked.

"You haven't touched your food," Embry added. I looked around and saw they were right. Everyone else finished eating but me. How long had I been staring off into space? I noticed Brady and Collin staring at my food hungrily. I grabbed my drink and shoved the rest of the food over to them, who gave me a grateful look and began fighting for the food.

"Not hungry," I muttered.

"You sure you're alright?" Seth asked. I nodded and gave him a toothy grin—one that looked very real.

"No faking smiles, Jani," Embry whispered in my ear. I stiffened. Out of all the smiles I smile, he catches me the one time I fake it. My face fell, and I imagine I must've looked shocked. I stood up from the table, grabbed my backpack, and walked away.

When I saw any of the others during school or in between class, I didn't really talk to them. I felt bad for ignoring them, but something was biting at me. Something was bothering me. I was horrible at reading my emotions…so I couldn't really figure out what I was feeling. Because I couldn't figure out what I was feeling, I couldn't figure out why I was feeling that way. I couldn't understand why something felt so out of place. I didn't talk to the others, not even Embry or Quil when I sat next to them in class. I would sometimes listen to their conversations, whenever they had them, but I felt like an observer, like I wasn't there.

When the bell rang for the end of the school day, I walked out to the courtyard with Embry and Quil. They were going to head to Emily's, too, and decided to tag along. Since they usually walked, they came with me when Emily picked me up. I still didn't say anything to anyone, but I couldn't help but wonder why I was feeling so weird.

"How's Calindra?" I asked Emily all of a sudden. Embry and Quil immediately glanced at me and Emily. I had a sudden ache—I needed my little sister, I needed to see if she was alright.

Emily looked back at me through the mirror as she parked the truck. "Calindra's asleep, inside. Sam's there, just in case she wakes up."

I got out and walked into the house, heading to my room where Calindra would be asleep. I put my book bag down in the corner of the room and slid onto the bed, propping myself up on my elbow. I looked down at my sister. She was the only one I had left, I realized. I brought her into my arms and held her to me tightly. I knew she was alive, and that was good. It was great. She gave me hope for my future. As long as I had my little sister, I'd be okay. I know Emily was taking her to school, and I was glad to know that she'd be going into third grade this fall with no problem.

"Jani?" I heard my little sister say. She squirmed around in my arms until I let her go. Cali looked up at me sleepily, then practically tackled me against the bed. She clung to my neck, forcing me to hold her up so she wouldn't snap it. "I want food, please." I smiled.

"Okay, okay, Cali," I said. "Just don't choke me, please, or you get no food." Her hold on me loosened, and she kissed my cheek—a little kid kiss, a childish slobber. I couldn't help but giggle at her cuteness. I kissed her cheek and carried her out of the room. "Emily! Food!"

Emily came out of the kitchen, giggling at my whininess. Some of the guys were in the living room hanging around. "For who? Cali? Or you, too?" she asked. "Actually, I think I have to make food for all of us." I smiled sheepishly. "That's alright. Why don't you introduce Cali to the boys?" I nodded.

Cali watched me and clung to me when I walked to the guys. Today, there was only Seth, Embry, Jared with Kim, and Collin, who was asleep on an armchair.

"Jani?" Cali said in confusion. "Who are they?"

I smiled adoringly at my sister. She was so precious to me, sometimes I forgot she was so young—she talked to me about things that you wouldn't believe, like that strange dream… But I pushed that thought to the back of my mind for later inspection. I looked around, noticing how most of the others were gauging my reaction. Embry had a soft smile on his face. Kim looked relieved. Jared smiled, then went back to watching Kim. Seth was looking at my sister… My brows furrowed.

"Seth?" I called. His gaze snapped to me, somewhat reluctantly. "Uh… You okay?" He nodded. The others looked at him, almost knowingly. More things they're hiding from me. Great. Then again, I had to remind myself that I just met them a few days ago. I looked at Calindra, who was watching Seth. She looked at me pleadingly. I grinned at her. "Hey, Seth. You wanna hold her for a minute?" Seth grinned, nodding enthusiastically. He seems like he'd get along great with kids—why not? I passed Calindra off to him—actually, it's more like she _jumped_ into his arms.

Weird.

"Hey, Embry, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked. The corner of his mouth lifted and he nodded, jumping up from the couch and following me outside. I sat on the edge of the porch, leaning against the railing. Embry plopped down beside me. We sat there in peaceful silence for a while.

"What did you need to tell me?" Embry asked. I looked over to him. I shifted so I was entirely facing him, and he did the same, leaning against the opposite side of the railing. I still couldn't grasp how much I trusted him, even after only knowing him for—what, three days? To be about to tell him what I was going to, I must have trusted him a bunch. I found that I did, though… I felt like I could be safe around him, as odd as that sounds. I felt like I could be myself and not feel judged, like he was the best friend I could possibly ever have, like he'd never let me get hurt.

"Cali had a nightmare," I blurted. I almost slapped my forehead—almost. For a split second, I felt like he would've laughed it off and said not to worry about it, that it was nothing serious. I was vulnerable enough to believe that, if only for a second. But when I saw he still looked concerned—that the concern hadn't faded into mockery—I felt secure.

"Before or after you told her about your parents?" Embry asked hesitantly. I smiled softly, glad he cared. I tried to remember that he was only two years older, that he couldn't really help—but I still wanted to tell him, to confide in someone, and no one seemed better to confide in than him.

"Before," I said.

"So you _did_ tell her, then?" I nodded. "How did she take it?"

"Well…" I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. "She already knew."

"What?" Embry didn't sound doubtful, and he didn't sound like he thought I was lying or delusional. That surprised me. He sounded confused, like he really did care and wanted to know. I was touched by the sentiment.

"She knew," I repeated. "Just like I had a feeling, she knew. That was her nightmare."

There was a pause as he considered that. "Did she tell you the nightmare?"

"I think she told me all of it—she didn't stop, not even when she started crying." I winced as I remembered that, and Embry reached forward and took my hand to comfort me. I smiled slightly.

"Do you wanna tell me?"

I snorted. "No, I brought you out here to talk about the weather," I joked. Embry cracked a smile. I smiled, too, but then it faded as I remembered the dream she told me about. "It sounds like a horror story."

"The nightmare?"

"Mm-hmm." I looked to the trees and woods surrounding the side of the house. It thickened the further in you got. I looked back at Embry. "It sounds a little crazy."

"I'm listening." I smiled slightly.

"Thanks," I murmured. "Well… She said she saw our parents in the car. I thought she might have meant a car crash, but I'll describe it the way she did." I closed my eyes, trying to picture the scene. "She said…there were people—other people, who she said picked up another car and hit our parents' car with it. Then they dragged our parents out of the car…and…she said they bit them." I thought back to when she told me this. I just didn't want to picture it…the nightmare. My eyes were closed, so I couldn't see Embry's reaction. I decided to continue. "She said there was blood… She said they 'broke' our parents, then they…'ate' them. I think she means they drank their blood or something. It sounds like a horror vampire story, I know… It's just… She was so certain it actually happened…that I'm starting to doubt whether it didn't."

I was almost afraid to open my eyes. For some reason, I felt like this was the last straw—like Embry would finally call me crazy and leave. I sighed. I opened my eyes. Embry was staring out into the forest, a calculative look of concentration on his face—he also looked a little angry. I stood up and walked to the door, feeling a bit lost. I felt Embry pull on my wrist, and I looked up at him. He wrapped his arms around me comfortingly as a few stray tears escaped the corners of my eyes.

"Do you mind…if I tell Sam and the others?" Embry asked quietly. I looked up at him. He was gauging my reaction.

I looked down. "I guess not," I replied softly. I didn't know why he wanted to tell them, but it made me feel better that he didn't leave me or say it was just a childish worry. "I'm gonna go check on Cali." I pulled out of his warm embrace and headed for the door. Embry closed the door behind us when we entered, and I immediately heard the high-pitched giggles and happy squeals of my younger sister. I hurried into the room, and an amused smile spread over my face when I saw Seth was tickling Cali and blowing on her tummy to make her laugh. They were having the time of their lives. Kim and Jared were curled up together, as always, and Collin had mysteriously disappeared.

"Jani!" Cali squeaked when she saw me. Seth looked up and saw me, giving a sheepish grin. I rolled my eyes and, smiling, sat down next to where Cali was lying on the couch. Embry leaned against the wall nearby, watching.

I grinned at Cali. "Hey, sweetie," I cooed. "Is Sethy being mean to you?" Cali giggled.

"Nope!" she replied. She sat up and hugged Seth, clinging to his neck like she often does to me. "My Sethy! He's my best friend, the best ever!" Seth beamed.

I pretended to be upset and pout. "I thought _I_ was your best friend ever," I said. Cali pouted, too, and tackled me against the couch. I laughed lightly as she hugged me tightly, almost tightly enough to hurt. "Okay, okay, I forgive you."

"Good, you better have!" Cali smiled a toothy grin at me. I kissed her on the cheek, and she kissed my cheek back.

"Remember, Cali," I said. "You're _mine_, not Seth's. You don't get to be anyone else's until I say so, got it?"

"Okay!" Another smile. "But I'm not Sethy's! Sethy is _mine!_" I looked over at Seth and sent a sheepish smile. Seth only grinned back happily.

"Oh, really?" I asked her.

"Yup!" she said. "I had a dream!"

My brows furrowed in confusion. "Another dream? Was it a good dream this time?" Cali nodded exuberantly.

"Yes!" Cali chirped. "There were these big dogs—wolves. And there was Emby there, and Sethy, too."

I chuckled. "_Emby_? You mean, _Embry_?" She nodded again.

"Yes! Embry and Sethy turned into the big wolves. They were in the forest, and they were running around with their noses in the air!"

"Uh… Okay, Cali," I replied. That was odd. "Whatever you say, darling." I gave her a kiss on the forehead. She hopped off my lap and into Seth's, who grinned as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. I didn't miss how, before, Seth, Embry, Jared, and Kim had looked over when Cali told me her dream. What was with them? Something weird was going on. For now, though, I'd let it go. After all, nothing really is _normal_ in life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Guidance**

**Chapter Three**

* * *

The rest of the week went by the same. School was okay; the workload was light seeing as it was the end of the year. I'd spend class with the guys and Kim, then come home to Emily, Cali, and my cousin Sam. At first, it was really odd calling Emily's house my own home, but she made sure I got used to it. Sam was stoic at times, but sometimes he opened up to Cali and I. I just figured that he'd been without family for so long that it was hard to show how he felt and express warmth. I usually saw Quil and Embry after school, as well as Seth, but sometimes they had other things to do—things I never found out about. As the days went by, I was constantly reminded of my parents. Embry helped me forget—or, at least, cope. I thought Cali would be harder to help, but she seemed to have healed whenever she was with her new buddy, Seth. I couldn't help but watch in wonder at how close they'd gotten in such a short time—I usually wondered if it was because Seth always wanted a little sister or loved kids or something, and Quil was usually the same with Claire, whenever we saw her.

It was Saturday that something changed. I'd just woken up, and I had sat in my bed, staring at the wall as my sister slept. Mother and Father hadn't called by now, hadn't come to get us. They were most likely dead. That thought didn't break me—I had too much time to get used it, and my tears had run dry. It only numbed me, and I felt cold and distant when I thought about it. I decided to call my parents' cell phones again—just to make sure, just to see, just to have some means of closure.

I changed clothes, grabbed my cell phone, and walked to the living room. I'd woken up early in the morning, surprisingly, and I was sure Emily and Sam were asleep. I went out to the porch and sat down on the steps, like I had with Embry days ago. I clutched my phone tighter in my hand and watched the sky. It was peaceful. Quiet. I flipped my phone open and scrolled through the music section, looking for a song. '_I Hope You Dance'_ by Lee Ann Womack came on. I hummed along to it, trying to clear my mind. When it was around eight in the morning, I dialed Mother's number. It rang and rang, then went to voicemail. I called Father's number, and it rang and went to voicemail, too. I sighed, but I couldn't will myself not to call again.

_Just one more time_, I told myself. "Just once more," I muttered aloud. I dialed Father's number again. It rang once, twice, and three times. Voicemail. I sighed, clutching the phone in a vice grip. I wanted to call again—just once more. But then I'd want to call once more after that, then once more, and another 'once more' until my phone ran out of battery.

I stood up, about ready to chuck my phone far away into the forest and leave my past life behind. I held on to it, though, unwilling to let go of the last thing—the last connection I had to my parents. I jumped and almost tripped when I felt the phone buzz in my hand. I hesitated before looking down at the caller ID.

_Father_.

I flipped it open. "Hello? Father?" I said anxiously. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe their cell phones just ran out of battery, and maybe there was a big storm or something and they were held up. Maybe they were alive.

"Is this Janiya Caldwell?"

I felt as if I was sinking. That voice, male, was not my father's voice. "Yes," I croaked out, falling to my knees. I held onto the railing and tried to steady myself. I sat on the porch steps. "Who—who is this?"

There was a pause.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," the stranger said in a solemn tone. "I'm Officer Stahl, and your parents have just been found dead in an alley."

That was it. My worst nightmare, confirmed. My throat went dry, and I had to swallow a couple of times before responding. "A-are you sure?" I asked.

"We found their Ids, as well as their cell phones and credit cards."

"I-in Seattle?"

"Yes," Officer Stahl said. "We also found their car nearby. It was smashed up pretty badly from the front, but we retrieved some things from the trunk and backseats—all that we could. It was mostly things like clothing and other items."

"What are you going to do with them?"

"If you can come down to a Seattle police office, we'll be sure to give you what's yours. We'll also have a lawyer ready with your parent's will, as I'm sure they have one."

"Alright, then, can you wait a moment? I-I have to wake up my cousin and ask when he can drive over."

"Of course." He gave me the directions and phone number I needed, after I had run inside to get a piece of paper and a pen. I was sitting at the kitchen counter after I'd hung up with the officer. I was shell-shocked. I really didn't know how to feel. But the first thing to do was tell Sam and Emily as soon as I could.

* * *

Emily, Sam, and I were at a police station in Seattle. After the officers had spoken to Sam about something—they didn't want me to know, I think—a lawyer brought us to a room and took out a few documents from a briefcase.

"Now, Ms. Caldwell," said the lawyer, "my name is Mr. Palmer. I have here some documents—they're your parents' will."

All through the reading of the will, I was silent. Mother and Father had left us—Cali and I—money in a trust fund. They wrote that they wanted me to live with Sam, probably because he was the only relative I had left. The reading itself was short, and I found myself quiet afterwards, when the lawyer left. The policeman, Officer Stahl, was there, and he'd given me all the items he found in the car. Most things were salvageable. Apparently, my parents had picked up everything we'd packed up to move to a house in La Push. We'd sold all our furniture and things that we didn't really need, so there wasn't as much as you'd expect. I instructed Emily and Sam to sell, if not donate, some things I knew I wouldn't need. I kept other things like my mother's jewelry, photographs, and other personal items. The ride home was silent and somber.

At home, I took all the things to my room and left it in the corner to be organized later. We hadn't taken Cali to the police station—she was left here, with Seth babysitting her. I didn't really know what to feel at this point. I just felt numb, disoriented.

"Hey, Seth," I greeted quietly as I plopped down on the couch nearby. "I hope she wasn't too much trouble."

Seth looked at me like I was insane. "Are you kidding? Of course not," he replied. At the moment, Cali was napping in his arms.

"M'kay, sure, whatever," I mumbled absentmindedly. Today was, what? May twenty-sixth? That meant that tomorrow was… "Ugh! Why? _Why?_"

"Uh… Jani? You alright?" Seth asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," I muttered. "I'm fine. Just—er—forgot I had some homework to do." I stood and headed for my room, ignoring the confused look he sent me.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up late. It was nearly lunchtime when I got out of bed and got dressed. I didn't care. Today was supposed to be horrible—I didn't want to enjoy it at all. One week since my parents died. I felt cold and distant. I changed clothes slowly, sluggishly. I wore black jeans, a black t-shirt, and a white tank top. I tied my hair back in a ponytail and grabbed my book from the top of the dresser. I'd finished the one about vampires. Now I was reading _Harry Potter_. I was on the fifth book, which I'd just retrieved from my suitcase yesterday. I walked to the living room and plopped down on the far end of the couch, muttering a quiet greeting to Sam, Emily, and Cali. I was about to open my book when I noticed Cali in her bathing suit—a cute deep blue one-piece with yellow borders; it came with a blue skirt attached to the lower body. Emily was slathering sunblock on her arms, legs, and face while Cali squirmed in her hold.

"Uh…Emily?" She looked up at me. "Any reason why Cali's dressed to go to the beach?"

Emily smiled. "Well, I was wondering when you would wake up," she said, shaking her head. "Cali wanted to go to the beach, and Seth offered to take her. Embry was also going to tag along—if you wanted to go, that is."

I sighed and got up. "I'll go get ready…"

"Good!" Emily chirped. "They'll be here in twenty minutes!"

I frowned and trudged to my room to get dressed. I rummaged in my suitcase for my swimsuit. It was a black bikini—I remember what a pain it was looking for it in the store. Most swimsuits these days are bikinis that much more resemble pieces of string. This one had straps instead of strings—not too thick, but thicker than a piece of string, and much more reliable. It was like more bikinis are—like underwear and a bra, only a bit more covering. I wore jean shorts on top of that, as well as a black tank top and a white tank top over it. I slipped on tennis shoes, pulled my hair back in a ponytail again, a grabbed a bag to take some stuff in. I threw in items like sunblock, two beach towels I found, another pair of clothes for Cali and I each, and my book. I grabbed the bag and walked out to the living room, where Cali was bouncing in her seat on the couch. I almost laughed.

"There you are!" Emily said. "You must be hungry."

"I guess," I answered. "An apple and some toast would be good, please."

While I was finishing the rest of my apple, Seth burst into the house. Almost immediately, Cali jumped off the couch and ran to him, arms open. Seth picked up the seven-year-old, twirled her around, and laughed. Embry came in a little afterwards, followed by Quil, who was carrying Claire. I finished off the apple and tossed the remains into the garbage.

"Hey, Jani," Embry greeted with a wide grin. His smile was contagious, unfortunately. I rolled my eyes.

"Hello, Embry," I greeted jovially.

"Hey, Jani," said Quil, ruffling my hair.

"Hey, Quilt," I teased.

"_Still_?"

"You bet." Quil went to give me a hug, but someone wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me back against their chest.

"I didn't get a hug, and _you_ certainly don't get a hug before _I_ do," Embry taunted Quil, who rolled his eyes.

"Uh, I kinda can't hug backwards," I pointed out. Embry laughed and turned me around. "There you go." I gave him a tight hug, which he reciprocated. "Now it's Quil's and Seth's turn." I went to move away, but he didn't let go. "Uh…Embry? Release!" He laughed and did as I said.

"Sethy, Sethy, Sethy," I heard Cali call while I was giving Quil and Seth a group hug. "What day is it?" I stiffened and pulled away from them.

"It's Sunday," Seth said, a little confused as he picked up the little girl. "Why?"

"No, what _day_ is it? Number?"

"It's—"

"Hey, are we just gonna stand here all day?" I interrupted. "Let's go!"

Embry glanced at me suspiciously, as did Seth. We went bade temporary goodbyes to Emily and headed outside. There was a silver truck parked. I grinned and hopped into the bed of the truck.

"Awesome," I said. "I've always wanted to ride in the back of one of these things." Embry hopped in, too, and Cali climbed into my lap. Seth, Quil, and Claire were up front. I think Quil was driving—at least, I _hope_ he was the one driving. "Whose truck is this, anyway?"

"Quil's parents," Embry replied.

"Jani, what day is it?" Cali asked.

"Sunday," I replied. Cali pouted, not happy with my answer.

"Embry, what day is it?"

"It's May twenty-seventh," Embry replied, to my horror.

"I knew it!" Cali squealed. She wrapped her arms around me and nuzzled her cheek into my neck. "Happy birthday, sissy!"

"_Cali_," I groaned.

"It's your birthday?" Embry asked. I nodded glumly. "Why didn't you tell me?" He looked a bit hurt.

"It's not exactly supposed to be happy," I muttered. "Only seven days since…you know. I didn't really want anyone to know."

"You do realize that we have to celebrate, anyway, right?"

"No," I told him. "Embry, you will _not_ tell anyone, understand?"

"I can't promise anything," he said with a smug grin.

"Well, just for that, you _are_ promising me, _now_," I said, my voice lowering as I sent him an intimidating look. "Promise me. Promise me you won't tell anyone it's my birthday."

"…I can't pr—"

"…please? …Em?"

"…I—"

"…_please?_ Just for me?" I made sure to give him the puppy dog eyes, looking up at him innocently. Embry inhaled deeply. His brown eyes watched mine carefully.

"…fine," he agreed reluctantly. I beamed and threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you _so_ much," I said happily. He wrapped an arm around my waist in a hug. Embry was, I noticed, _very_ warm—his temperature must have been at least ten degrees higher than mine.

"Jani! Why don't you want anyone to know?" Cali asked, interrupting the moment.

"Because, Cali," I said. "Don't you go telling _anyone_, you hear me?"

"But—"

"Not even Sethy."

"Okay, sissy," she said, pouting. I ruffled her sandy brown hair, at which she wrinkled her nose. I smiled.

"Sissy, eh?" Embry commented. I looked at him. He was leaning against the side of the truck, arms behind his head. He was wearing a green t-shirt and green swim trunks that had a vertical black rectangle on the outward sides. I stuck my tongue out at him. He grinned. Abruptly, the truck stopped. When had we gotten to the beach? The journey was so short, yet so many things happened.

"You gonna sit there all day, Jani?" Quil taunted, carrying Claire.

"Sethy!" Cali called. Seth grinned and went to go carry her. Embry hopped off the truck first and held a hand out to me. I gave him a strange look, but took his hand and jumped down, after which he helped me steady myself. As if I needed help.

"Qwil! Qwil! Down, down!" I heard Claire complain. She squirmed in Quil's arms until he set her down, then took her hand. "Qwil! Cwaire wanna pway in water!" Quil laughed and allowed her to lead him over to the water.

"Okay, Claire, we'll go to the water…" His voice trailed off as they went further away. When Quil was with Claire, he seemed a lot more mature, and lot more peaceful… That was odd.

"Sethy! Sethy!" Cali was tugging on Seth's long hair. "I wanna go play in the water, too!"

"Okay, okay, we're going," Seth said. Then he looked as if he'd remembered something, and he glanced at me. "That is, if your sister's okay with it."

"Sure," I said. "Just watch after her, don't let her down. She doesn't know how to swim. Take care."

"Will do!" I watched as he ran to the water, Cali giggling in his arms the entire way. Something seemed really odd about that…just like Quil and Claire…

"So?" I almost jumped at the sound of Embry's voice. He was smiling smugly. I rolled my eyes, a ghost of a smile on my face.

"Come on, let's find someplace with shade," I muttered, grabbing his wrist and leading him down the beach. He freed his wrist from my grasp and took my hand instead. I blushed lightly, but he was behind me, so he didn't see it. I found a few trees not far from the shore, near the cliff. I dropped my bag and sat down against the tree.

"Aren't you going in the water?" Embry asked. I looked up at him just in time to see him pull his shirt over his head and toss it behind him. I looked down at my lap, feeling warmth creep up my neck.

"Maybe later," I replied quietly. I reached for my bag and took out my book, flipping open to the page I'd bookmarked. "You can go ahead, though."

Embry rolled his eyes with a smile and sat down beside me. He stretched his legs out in front of him, crossed his arms behind his head, leaned against the tree, and closed his eyes. "Nah. Maybe later," he quoted, a grin on his face. "Besides, I can't leave you alone to fend for yourself—what if something happens to you?" There was a hint of concern and seriousness behind the tease. Still, I blushed lightly.

"I'm sure you just feel better having me around," I teased.

His eyes opened. "There's that, too." I tensed. Did I hear right? Embry closed his eyes again, a soft smile on his face.

I looked back down at my book, no longer having any desire to read about wizards and witches and Sirius Black. Although, maybe, I could spare some interest for the last of those three… I shook my head and scoffed. The world of _Harry Potter_ is too interesting to pass up. Still, I didn't feel like reading anymore.

"Care to share the joke?" Embry asked. I spared him a glance and closed the book, marking the page. I smiled wistfully.

"No joke," I said. "Just fantasizing about fictional characters."

"Ah." Embry snickered. "_Vampires_ again?"

I hit his leg with the book. "No!" I huffed. "Wizards, witches, werewolves, and _so_ many other creatures. Though I'm fantasizing about…hmm…four wizards and a werewolf who's a wizard."

Embry opened his eyes and quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, really?" I nodded. "Do tell," he said sarcastically, wrinkling his nose. I grinned.

"If you insist," I said dramatically. Embry smiled. "Well, there's the twins—Fred and George Weasley—whom I absolutely _adore!_ Redheads, twins—and then their _personalities_!" I placed a hand to my heart, looking up and sighing. Embry sniggered, and my lips twitched. The show will go on. "Then there's Sirius Black—convicted murderer who's actually innocent! Heartthrob extraordinaire! Especially when you think of his youthful days. Then there's—"

"Wait, _youthful days_? How old is he?"

"Around mid-thirties, I guess," I replied. Embry shook his head in disgust. "Then there's James Potter, late father of Harry Potter, same age as Sirius. He was best friends with Sirius. Think of him in his youth! So cute!"

"I think I'm gonna throw up if I have to listen to more of this," Embry muttered dryly.

"Aw, come on! There's only one more!" I complained. Embry gestured for me to continue my nonsensical rambling. "Then there's Remus Lupin, who was also best friends with Sirius and James. They were troublemakers in their day! So cute! He was the reserved one—he was also a werewolf! Poor guy—he was so sweet! But the whole werewolf aspect makes him a much deeper character." I sighed dreamily, just for show. "I love them all! Woe is me!"

"Are you done?" I glanced at Embry, who was looking tortured.

"Men," I muttered under my breath. I could swear Embry's lips twitched. "Yup, I'm done."

"Then are you going to go in the water now?"

"Sure, sure. Whatever floats your boat, hun," I joked. "Alright, alright, I'm going." I stood up, dusting myself off. "You go. I'll get to the water in a sec, okay?"

"Alright," he said reluctantly. Embry gave a small smile and headed to the shore. I saw, nearby, Quil, Seth, Claire, and Cali building a sand castle that kept falling apart in some places.

I shrugged my shorts off, then pulled my tank tops over my head. I grabbed a bottle of spray-on sunscreen and sprayed all over me. I took my hair out of its ponytail—it would only get even more tangled if I didn't. I walked towards the water where I saw Embry standing. The water reached his waist. I grinned, almost evilly. I tried to walk as silently as I could towards him, trying to stay out of sight. I think he knew I was there, but he didn't give any indication that he did. I inhaled deeply—without making a sound. Then, I sprang.

I leapt onto his back, piggy-back mode. "Giddy-up, Embry!" I taunted. Embry looked over his shoulder at me, rolling his eyes.

"I knew you were there," he said.

"Yeah, I figured. But you didn't do anything to stop me, did you? Now, onwards, pony!"

"Pony?"

"Yes. Pony." Embry waded into the water until it came up to my chest. I rested my chin on his shoulder. "Meh."

"Meh?"

"Meh."

Embry let out a short snort of amusement. I let go of him, dropping into the water. I pulled my hair back into order underwater, then surfaced. I tried to get all the water off of my face before I opened my eyes. Embry was lying on his back, floating, eyes closed. I bit my lip. _Stupid fifteen-year-old mind!_ I scolded myself. I could see his muscles and well-defined washboard abs, glistening, wet from the ocean water. I tore my gaze from him, looking back at the beach where Quil, Seth, and the little girls were. Quil and Seth wore swimming trunks and were bare-chested, just like Embry. I could see their washboard abs from here. Yet, this didn't make me blush, not like Embry had. Then again, Embry's, like, a foot away! They were a good several yards away, dry, and building sandcastles with two children. The presentation, hence the effect, was totally different.

"Aren't you cold?" Embry asked. I looked over my shoulder, then looked back to shore when I knew I was going to blush. I shrugged.

"I was, at first. It's warm-ish today—something that seldom happens, I'm told. Although it's not that sunny, it's not freezing, cloudy, or raining."

"Jani…"

"Yes?"

"Look at me." I tensed, and my eyes widened a fraction. "What's wrong? I'm your friend, aren't I?" I didn't say anything. "Whatever I did to make you mad, I'm sor—"

"Embry," I interrupted, turning a little to glance at him. "Why do you think I'm mad at you?"

He looked slightly abashed. "Well—you wouldn't look at me, and you—I just—"

"I'm not mad at you…" I turned even further, facing him. "I wasn't mad at you."

Embry, somehow, looked like a dog when he perked up. "Good," was all he said. Then he put on a puppy pout, at which I almost laughed. "Then, huggie for making me worry?" he said in the most ridiculously childish voice I've ever heard. I burst out laughing, my hands covering my face. I felt myself being pulled, vaguely, and I felt Embry's arms around me in a hug. I stopped laughing, but kept my face buried in my hands. I could feel his abs against my bare back, could feel his muscled arms around my body. It did not help me at _all_. I felt something akin to a tornado stirring in the pit of my stomach.

* * *

When it was time to head back to Emily's, I hopped into the bed of the truck, my skin feeling salty and sticky—a side effect from the saltwater. I felt too uncomfortable to pull on the tank tops, so I just wore my bathing suit and the shorts, and even those were uncomfortable to tug on over the bikini bottom. Almost as soon as I settled against the side of the truck, Quil handed Claire to me, almost reluctantly.

"Sleeping?" I asked. He nodded. "Where's Cali?"

"Riding up front with Seth," he answered. I adjusted Claire's position so she would rest her head on my shoulder. Quil, after a few moments, went up front to drive. Embry sat in front of me, leaning against the other side of the truck. He still wasn't wearing a shirt, and his hair was wet, looking perfectly spiky.

"See something you like?" Embry teased. My eyes snapped to his. Thankfully, I fought back the blush.

"Just wondering how your hair's so spiky," I said noncommittally. Embry's face was blank. Then the corner of his lips turned up as he looked away. I smiled smugly to myself and watched the trees pass by. It seemed to take less time getting to Emily's house from the beach than our first trip; we were soon there. I passed Claire off to Quil, who'd immediately gotten out of the truck and headed for her. I hopped off, taking hold of the side of the truck to steady myself as I landed on my feet. I grabbed my bag and headed inside, expecting the boys to follow.

"Jani," Embry called out. I turned as he lightly took my wrist. I felt a light blush on my cheeks and gave him a questioning look. He dropped my wrist. "I'll…see you later."

I frowned. "You guys aren't coming in for a while?"

"Sorry." He ran a hand through his hair. "We've got work to do…sorry." Embry's eyes locked with mine. "But we'll visit when we can, I promise."

I nodded curtly. My mouth was dry—the way he said that was so intense, it felt surreal. What was going on? I looked around for Seth, finding him being attacked by my sister in a choke hold. Seth waved to me and said something—but I couldn't hear. It felt like all the sounds around me were muffled. I shook my head, forcing myself to refocus.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked.

Seth shook his head. "Never mind, just get inside," he answered. "Take Cali." Cali attached herself to my leg, giggling in amusement. I grabbed her hand and turned for the house when I felt two very warm, muscled, and familiar arms wrap around my waist.

"Oh, and, happy birthday," Embry whispered into my ear. I felt my stomach flip and blood rush up to my face. He gave me a light squeeze, then released me. Cali was giggling, and Seth had an amused smirk on his face.

"Happy birthday, Jani!" Seth said. I glared at him. Apparently, Quil heard, because the next thing I knew, he was walking around the truck and over to give me a hug. Both he and Seth gave a bear hug, much to Embry's disdain, oddly enough. They left after Cali and I entered the house.

* * *

When Cali and I had had our baths and dressed in pajamas, it was five in the afternoon. Emily had given us dinner, and we sat around in the living room quietly. After a while, I noticed Cali was heading to our room. I was about to go follow her when Emily spoke.

"You know, Sam's been getting the other spare room ready." I looked over at her. There were a couple spare rooms in the house—there were about four bedrooms in the entire house—and Cali and I shared one of them. Another was a guest room where some of the guys would sleep overnight if they had to work—and I still didn't find out where they worked, but whatever. There was another room that was a guest room, but it wasn't exactly suitable for Cali on her own. Sam and some of the guys had been cleaning it and Emily had gotten some furniture and things. I would've seen it by now, but she didn't let me nor Cali see it until it was done.

"So Cali's going to have her own room soon?" I asked.

"Yep." I nodded at Emily and smiled gratefully, then excused myself. I headed to my room and entered quietly. Cali was seemingly asleep. I watched her, frozen to my spot. Something about this stirred another something in me. Why was she napping so much lately? There was something familiar about it, though. She looked almost dead, actually.

I felt a cold chill run up my spine as it hit me. I ran over to her side and took her hand. There was a pulse, but that wasn't what I was looking for. I shook her softly, trying to wake her up—_if_ she was even asleep.

"Cali… Cali," I called. "Cali!" Still unconscious. I felt anger rise in me. She knew she wasn't allowed to do this! How long had she been doing this? Why didn't I _notice?_ I trembled as tears slipped down my face. I had the urge to hit something. "_Dammit_, Calindra! I _told_ you not to do this!"

There was only one thing I could do. I had to find her, had to get her back to herself. I hated it—Mother and Father didn't want us to do things like this, they didn't want us to project. They said it was too dangerous, that, since Mother couldn't because it skipped a generation, there was no way to make sure we were safe or that we could come back. But I had to. Who knows where Cali could be?

I inhaled and exhaled shakily, trying to calm down. I lied down on the bed, facing the ceiling, my arms by my sides. I closed my eyes and tried to meditate. It'd been so long since I had done this…but it felt almost welcoming, almost routine…

I made my breaths come slower, heavier, until I was in a dreamlike state. My mind was blank. I focused on my center, the center of my mind. I focused on pulling free from the weights dragging me to the ground, I focused on releasing the chains that held me to the earth.

And soon, I felt light. I felt like a breeze. I opened my eyes, and looked around the room. I saw myself lying on the bed—I looked like a was sleeping. Technically, anywhere else, it'd look like I was dead. Unresponsive. I felt a tug behind my belly button, pulling me to myself. It was pulling me to my body, reminding me that I was a wandering spirit. I'd almost forgotten how free, how liberating it was to project. My father was Quileute, but Mother was Navajo. The Navajos had their own legends, and among them was astral projection. Only few Navajos can truly project nowadays…my sister and I being among the few.

I glanced at my sister's body, then back at mine. Both, empty husks. They were alive, yes, but the soul and spirit within them was missing. Sure, there was something like a rubber band holding us to our body, which stretched and stretched thinner the further we got from it, but limits could be pushed. I took a step, being reminded of the rubber band tugging behind my belly button.

Now how was I to look? I closed my eyes. I desired…I desired to go to where my sister was. Astral projection was not limited to walking, so to speak, to places, which was lucky. I felt something reminiscent of air rushing past my body—though, in reality, it wasn't my _body_ but my spirit, or my _astral body_—and I opened my eyes when it stopped.

I was in the middle of a forest. I saw Cali—or, rather, the astral Cali—jumping from tree to tree ahead of me. I rushed to keep up with her, and sped up to catch up to her.

"Cali!" I shouted. She froze and looked back at me, a guilty expression adorning her features. I ran to her, not caring that we were standing in midair. "What do you think you're _doing?_ Mother and Father told us not to!"

Cali winced. "Mom and Dad aren't here! Mom and Dad are dead! I _saw_ it! I was _there_!" Her words hit me like a slap in the face. No wonder that dream seemed so weird. That dream she'd told me about nearly a week ago, about our parents, was no dream. She was projecting, even then.

"I _told_ you not to project! You don't know what could happen!"

"Neither do you!" she retorted, crossing her arms. "I'm fine! I've been fine!"

I groaned in frustration. "That's not the point, Calindra!" She flinched. "The point is, Mother never had the ability for astral projection, and she didn't know what it was like! She wasn't able to teach us anything about it! And our grandparents were already dead, so we couldn't learn from them, either!"

"So why can't we learn _now?_" Cali demanded.

"It's too dangerous! You never know what could happen! We've never met oth—"

"So why can't we learn? Why can't we teach ourselves?" Cali looked angry, but she looked like she was about to cry, too. I sighed and took her into my arms, stroking her hair.

"Because I want to be safe, I don't want to take a risk that could cost us our lives…"

"Please, Jani?" Cali asked. "You never know till you try. And I remember you used to like to do this, before, when Mom and Dad didn't know." It was true. When I'd learned to astral project, I was eight. Cali learned this year, and Mother and Father had told her not to. Before this year, they didn't know I could, too. But that was in the past… Still. Part of me wanted to give in—what would it hurt?

I sighed. "Okay, Cali, we'll try." Her face lit up. "But you _have_ to listen to me. You have to ask me before you go projecting anywhere, got it? And I have to come with you. No buts. You have to listen to me, no matter what, understand? If not, I'm not letting you come out here again."

"Okay, Jani." I sighed again. At least she'd listen to me. Then again, if I'd said no, there really wouldn't be any way to stop her. She pulled out of my grasp and turned around, looking off somewhere into the forest.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, Jani!" she said, turning back to me. "Come on! Let's go find the wolves!"

"Wolves? That's what you've been doing? Going out to chase wolves that can't even see you?" It was true, too. We had a strange, pale look about us. No one could see us. I remember, when I was younger, I used to be able to make myself visible. We'd look exactly like we did—it was like we were actually there, instead of just projecting. But I couldn't do that anymore, not without a lot of practice. It took a lot of energy to be able to hold yourself together—it took a lot just to walk away from your own body, and it took more to make yourself visible and permeable. It was like we were on a different plane…an astral plane, so to speak. We couldn't affect others very much—we were harshly limited in what we could do—but, once we became solid, we were able to be seen and to create change.

So why, then, did Cali want me to go chasing wolves? I was about to ask her, but she rocketed forward, searching for them. I had no choice but to trail behind, smiling a little at the rush of air I felt. It was cold, cool, but I had no sense of temperature here. It didn't make me feel cold, nor did I feel hot. It just was. It was hard to explain.

I followed her and sped up to reach her once I heard her giggling and laughing as she jumped from tree to tree. I didn't bother; I just ran through the air, swiftly, like I was flying. All the while, I was conscious of that rubber band stretching and stretching, but it wasn't too bad so I must not have been too far away from my body. I looked down, to the ground—I was near the canopy of the trees—and saw a couple of wolves run through the forest, looking as if they were searching for something. They were spread out. I saw about two, maybe three. One's fur was sandy-colored—this was the one Cali was following—and another had a chocolate brown fur. For a moment, I smiled wistfully. It is said that animals, dogs in particular, can see or sense ghosts and spirits… Would they sense my astral self? I lowered to the ground until I was above their heads, above the ground in between them. Then, on a whim, I rushed past them and ran ahead, looking back at them. They didn't seem to notice, although I could swear something changed.

It was nearing dark after a while of running around the wolves, and I caught up to Cali again and stopped her.

"We have to get back," I told her. "We need to sleep." I hadn't forgotten about how astral projection lies. I could run all day by astral projection—in fact, I could go for weeks, maybe—and never tire, but when I returned to my body I would probably slip into a coma. That's the funny thing about astral projection; you never knew how tired you were, so you had to be aware of all your limits and experiment very, very slowly. We might look like we're sleeping—or, more appropriately, dead—but we don't get _any_ rest from it. That much, I remember.

"Okay," Cali relented, watching the wolves run until they were out of sight. She looked up at me. "Let's go back." I smiled at her.

"Do you usually go back from here, or do you return to our room?" I asked.

"I go back to the room. I tried it from here once. It kinda hurt." I chuckled softly at her innocent words. At first, it did hurt. It more of shocked you than anything else, though.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"If you want." She closed her eyes and soon disappeared in what seemed like a gust of wind—if wind normally reached a couple dozen miles per hour in a forest. I closed my eyes, focusing on the feeling of the rubber band pulling behind my belly button. I went limp, so to speak, and felt that rubber band snap back.

I jolted up from the bed, almost falling in the process. My heart was beating erratically, and I felt like I'd been slammed into an empty casket—which is probably a very accurate description of what happened.

"Jani?" I heard Cali call out to me, peering over the edge of our bed. I stretched out on the floor and got back up and crawled into bed.

"Let's sleep, please," I told her, pulling her into a warm and tired embrace. "I am pooped." It's true—I was exhausted. I felt like I could fall asleep for days.

I heard Cali laugh. "Poop," she sang silently. I grinned and mussed her hair up.

"Oh, can it," I muttered. "Go to sleep."

* * *

**Know what's funny? Officer Stahl happened because I had, for some odd reason, thought of Stalin. For those of you who don't know who Stalin is, he was a Russian leader who was pretty much evil. Well, that's MY opinion... Go to Wikipedia for a more official position on Stalin.**

**Anyways, tell me what you thought about this chapter! Review, please! :) I love reviews, and very much enjoy them. I get many ideas from reviews sometimes, and they definitely encourage me to keep writing.**

**-HunnyABee**


	4. Chapter 4

**Guidance**

**Chapter Four**

* * *

The following week played out much the same. Cali and I would astral project in the afternoon, but only for a while—though, it was hard to tell how much time you spent projecting. No sense of exhaustion, no sense of time, and I honestly doubt a wristwatch would help. Then again, we could always head into a house or something and check the clock… But it wasn't worth the effort. Sometimes, Cali and I would tour all around the forests, enjoying the sights. We would also practice making ourselves solid, visible, permeable, whatever you want to call it… A couple of times, we chased after the wolves Cali loved so much—I had to admit, they were cute, as cute as wolves could be. Once, when I was looking around by myself, I saw a person in the woods. They were pale, and they were running with incredible speed. But I never really hung around to see where they go or what they do. I felt a sense of danger around them, for some reason.

School was the same. It was the last week of classes; the school at La Push gets out before the one in Forks, I'm told, so there wouldn't be as many kids from up there at the beach until summer officially began for them. School, for the most part, was boring. Sure, we joked and laughed and hung out in class—we being Kim and I and the guys—but we were still stuck in class. I mostly read, for the most part, or endured little teases from the guys. I would send back a few quips of my own, though, so no foul.

When Saturday came, Cali's room was done. She was going to sleep there from now on; it was just across the hall, so it wasn't too far. She was absolutely ecstatic to have her own room. There was a low bed with pink sheets and a fluffy comforter, a bookshelf, a squishy pouf of a chair, and a circular pink rug. I almost rolled my eyes at the amount of pink. Almost. And, of course, Cali loved it, so she thanked Emily and Sam with big, little-kid kisses, as well as choke-hold hugs.

Emily was making lunch later on when she asked me about a bonfire. "So, Jani, would you and Cali like to come to a bonfire tomorrow? I'm not sure if you'd like to, but it would definitely be fun. Sam and I are going, and so are the rest of the boys, as well as others, like the Elders of the tribe."

"That sounds great, Emily," I replied. "Kimmy already asked me two weeks ago, but I forgot. What time are we going?"

"Oh, around five or six."

"What should I wear?" I felt myself grinning, and I was getting excited. Emily beamed as she caught my hyper vibe.

"I'll help you pick out an outfit tomorrow if you like," she offered. I took her hands and started dancing and jumping around, and Emily laughed as she joined in. "We can do your hair and makeup, too."

"Whoa, Emily! No way!" I laughed. "This is not some fancy-schmancy thing, is it? And it's not a date, either, nor is it prom!"

"Are you sure there's _no one_ you want to impress?" I rolled my eyes, but registered the faint blush on my cheeks. There _was_ one person who came to mind, but I'd rather not admit that aloud.

"Come on! Happy dance! I'm hyper," I giggled. Emily rolled her eyes and smiled good-naturedly as we pranced around the living room and kitchen.

"Why so hyper?" Emily questioned.

"I dunno. Maybe Cali's rubbing off on me. Either her or Seth and Quil, the little turds."

"Jani," Emily chided.

"Tarts, my bad," I corrected halfheartedly. We stopped bouncing in place and just crashed on the couch and armchair. "Seth and Quil are little tarts. Better?" Emily mumbled something that sounded like 'meh.'

"Tarts? Did I hear right?" a loud, obnoxious voice sounded. I groaned as Quil came bursting through the room and ran to pounce on me—obviously not landing on me, because then I'd be a pancake. He stuck out his tongue at me. "That's not very nice, Jani."

"`Ey, Quil," Seth called, walking in. "You know… Embry's not gonna be very happy if he sees you like that."

"Point made." He practically fled to the opposite side of the room, and I sat up on the couch.

"What's Embry got to do with it?" I muttered, feeling heat creep up my neck. For some reason, recently, I've been getting butterflies whenever Embry is mentioned—when I actually _see_ him, it's ten times worse. I laid out on the couch, crossing my arm behind my head and crossing my legs. "Hi, by the way."

"Hey, Jani," Seth greeted giving me a smile. I opened my arms in his direction. Seth raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

"Huggy!" I squeaked. "I haven't gotten a hug from a guy in a long time… I'm deprived! It's almost a crime!"

"Hey, why ask Seth and not me?" Quil pouted, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. I rolled my eyes at his childishness.

"You had your chance, bub," I grumbled. Seth relented and came over to give me a hug. He really was like a brother, in more ways than one. I gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Seth. You're like a brother, you know that, right?"

Seth, blushing lightly, nodded and grinned. When he turned away, I got up as quietly as I could and jumped on his back.

"Piggyback!" I squealed. "Ah! Seth! Don't drop me, you tart!" I could picture Seth rolling his eyes at that, even if I didn't see it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and Seth, with no choice, grabbed my legs to keep me up. Quil was laughing—almost giggling, I would say—and he came over, looking ready to leap.

"My turn! Mind if I piggyback, Jani? We can make a sandwich!"

That raised a red flag in my mind. "Uh, no thanks, Quil," I said hastily. "No sandwich."

"Bu—"

"Hey, Jani," Seth interrupted, "where's Cali?"

"Bedroom, probably sleeping," I said. Cali was even more tired out from the trips than I was, so I made sure to let her rest.

"Mind if I…?"

I sighed. "Go ahead." He let go and I jumped off. Seth went to check on my sister. At times, I really didn't understand his fascination with her. It was creepy at times, but I could trust Seth, right? He's not a pedophile or something, right? He's just a family friend…

"Jani!" Seth called urgently. I rushed to Cali's room, Quil and Emily trailing behind.

"What is it?" I asked concernedly.

"She's not waking up! I think something happened! Maybe she's—no, what if she's—I couldn't—wh—"

"Seth, shut _up!_" I demanded. I knelt by my sister's bedside, taking her hand. Was she breathing? She looked dead. I closed my eyes, then opened them, anger filling me. She didn't tell me! She left to go project elsewhere! Oh, she was going to get an _earful_ when she gets back!

"Is she okay?" Seth asked, fidgeting.

"She's fine," I snapped. I inhaled, trying to reign in that temper. It wasn't his fault she didn't listen to me. "Just go. Please."

"But—"

"_Go!_" I yelled. Seth was shaking, and Quil grabbed his forearms and hauled his out of the room. Emily looked after them, then back at me.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing," I muttered, shaking my head. "I'll tell you later, but, right now, I have to go find Cali."

"Find—?" At this point, she was confused about the whole thing, and I'm sure Quil and Seth were, too.

"Please, Emily, give me an hour or two alone," I interrupted. "If I take longer, or if you come in before then and I don't respond, like Cali, then don't worry. I'm fine, and so is Cali, okay? Now please go." I ushered her out of the bedroom and locked the door. I sat against the wall and took Cali's hand in mine. I closed my eyes, focusing on Cali.

I felt myself lifted away from the bonds of my body, then saw as my hand dropped from Cali's and I slumped against the wall and floor. I grimaced. That would hurt later. I shook my head. I closed my eyes, focusing on Cali. I desired to go where she was. And I felt the space around me rush by, and soon saw Cali at a cliff in First Beach. She jumped off and soared into the water below, then rushed back up to the cliff.

"Cali!" I yelled. She flinched and looked over her shoulder at me. She looked regretful, but rushed over to my side and hung her head guiltily. I almost lost my anger—she did look remorseful—but I couldn't not punish her. "What did I _tell_ you? You have to tell me when you want to go, you have to make sure I go with you! What if something—I don't even know _what_—happens to you? How am I supposed to explain that? What am I supposed to do without you? Do you realize I had to yell at Seth and Emily just to come get you? Do you know how worried they were? People get scared and people get sad when you _do_ this, Cali. We look like we're _dead_ when we do this, Cali! Do you _know_ how you _looked?_ Do you know how we all _felt?_ And Seth was about ready to wring my neck when I told him to get out!"

I exhaled and pinched the bridge of my nose. It would do no good to argue. She already felt bad enough. I pulled Cali into my arms and settled on the ground. She buried her face in my neck.

"Do you understand?" I asked her, softly. She nodded, sniffling. "Come on, let's get back. Emily should be making lunch, not worrying about us. We need to tell her you were okay, alright?"

"Mm-hmm," she whimpered.

"Alright. You want me to come with you?" She nodded. I took her hand and we stood up. Then we were rushing through trees, through the forest. I sighed, wondering just how we were going to explain this.

We reached the house soon, and Cali went forward and through to her room. I followed and found, with horror, that we weren't there. "Uh-oh," Cali mumbled, eyes wide. I felt my pulse race. Where were we?

"Maybe—" I didn't finish that sentence. I went out to the living room, Cali following. I saw Embry—my breath caught when I saw his agonized expression—on the couch, Emily and Sam beside him. Seth and Quil were on the floor in front of them. I really, _really_ hoped that it wasn't what it looked like. If they were mourning… Oh, no…

"Come on, Jani…" I heard Embry whisper. "Wake up. Please, respond." My heart broke at his tone. Cali was looking at me, eyes wide. Seth was much the same as Embry, carrying Cali in his lap. I looked at her.

"I'll go first…" I said. She nodded. "I'll tell you when to come, just _stay in this room_, got it?" She nodded again.

"Jani… _please_…" Embry continued. "You look… Please don't be…"

I felt something stir in me. I felt so guilty, too, worrying them like this. I stood by him and placed a hand on his shoulder, but I knew that trying to make myself visible at this point wouldn't—

Actually, that might be a good way to explain it. I turned back to Cali. "Change of plans," I said. "Go back, now. I'll join in a minute." Cali, confused, nodded and headed for her body. I saw her figure zoom away in a snap, and saw her return to her body. She gasped lightly, and Seth's eyes widened.

"Cali?" Seth asked tentatively.

Cali grinned sheepishly up at him. "Sethy!" She flung her arms around his neck as he gave her a tight hug, clinging to her as if he didn't want to imagine her life being taken away ever again. "I'm so, so sorry! I didn't mean to—"

"What do you mean, Cali? You couldn't have…" I inhaled deeply, then focused on making myself visible, solid. It was still so hard. I tried. When I thought I was, I spoke.

"Embry?"

Embry's head snapped up, and he looked at me, shocked. Everyone looked at me. Cali smiled.

"You finally did it, Jani!" Cali chirped. I frowned.

"Now's not the time for congratulations," I muttered dryly.

Embry, looking down at the me on his lap and myself now, looking disoriented. "What's going on?" Sam demanded.

"Well, if you all just give my body some space so I can get back, I'd explain," I told them. Embry's eyes went wide.

"Y-your _body?_ You mean—"

"I'm alive, don't worry your pretty head about that," I teased. His expression told me it wasn't time for teasing, though. "Alright, alright, don't get your knickers in a knot. Just give me some breathing space, geez." Emily and Sam moved away, and I walked over to myself, a small smile on my face. "Wow, I'm actually kinda pretty. Hmm." I grabbed my hand and closed my eyes, then felt the _snap_ as I once again claimed my body.

Everyone in the room, except for Cali, was pretty much lost, confused, shocked, and had expressions that just screamed _What the hell!_ I chuckled sheepishly and sat up—and I noticed, I was in Embry's lap. I would've blushed if I wasn't so nervous about what they would all say.

"Well… Uh… Sorry for…worrying you?" I stuttered. "But, really, how would I be dead? What would I have died from?" These questions went unanswered.

"It's all my fault!" Cali bawled. "I'm so sorry, Jani! I'll never do that again without telling you!"

"Yeah, I'm sure _that_ promise will live," I muttered under my breath.

"What's going on?" Emily asked.

"And what's with the freaky doppelganger thing?" Quil added.

"Sorry, sorry," I said quickly. "I'm sorry for how I acted, Emily, Seth, but I really did need to find Cali. She was by the cliffs." Seeing their even more confused expressions, I held a hand up to silence them. "Let me explain, then you can ask questions. First off, Cali and I are half-Navajo. Navajos have legends, as I'm sure every other tribe has, which stem from truth. My tribe has a legend—more like a tradition, really—that some of us can…project. What Cali and I do is called astral projection. It's kind of like leaving the body behind, moving forward with your spirit, but not exactly. It's like a different field—like an astral plane—like a different realm, almost. We can't affect things very much unless we practice and try to make ourselves able to affect them, like when I appeared to you guys as an astral projection."

It was silent for a moment as everyone absorbed that. "So it's like the Quileute's, our, legend of the Spirit Warriors," Sam stated.

"Uh… Not exactly," I said. "I vaguely remember being told that legend… I'm not really sure about it, though, but I know there's a distinction."

"Well, you can listen to the legend tomorrow at the bonfire," Emily added. "Then you can tell us whether it's the same or not."

"I doubt it's the same," I said indignantly. It's Navajo…not Quileute… It can't be the same. I felt a bit angry that they would even suggest that… It felt like a mockery to the Navajo culture.

"She didn't mean it was the same," Embry said, and, for the first time in a short while, I was completely aware of the fact that I was on his lap and he was running a hair through my hair. I leaned back against the arm of the couch and looked back up at him expectantly. "Emily and Sam meant that there are some similarities, I'm sure. It's not the same. It's unique to the Navajos. They just wanted to understand it more, and they would understand it more if it related to their tribe more."

I pondered this for a second, then gave a ghost of a smile. "Okay," I said. "Sorry, Emily. Sorry, Sam."

"No, no," Emily said quickly. "We're sorry. We shouldn't have done that…" I waved my hand noncommittally. Emily gave a slight smile. "Well, I better go finish lunch, then." She left for the kitchen, Sam trailing behind her after giving me a rare smile.

"Well," Quil blurted, eyes wide as saucers. "That's something you don't see everyday."

"So… Astral projection, was it?" Seth asked. I nodded. He glanced at Cali, who was nodding off in his arms. I feel a twinge of guilt.

"Cali's sleepy," I mumbled. "Astral projection exhausts us sometimes, especially her because she's so young. When we're projecting, we have no concept of exhaustion, or even time… I need to set her down for a nap." I made to get up but Embry kept me down.

"Seth will take her," Embry whispered. It was true—Seth was already out of the room. I frowned.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow—maybe later—bye, Jani!" Quil chirped, then fled the house, or at least the room. That left me with Embry, in what was slowly becoming an awkward situation as I was still draped over his lap. It didn't help that he was, I just noticed, only wearing cutoffs. The entire shirtlessness issue was lessening, though, thankfully. I closed my eyes and tried to slow the frantic beating of my heart—believe me, I had no idea how to, and I'm sure it was loud enough for Embry to hear and fast enough to beat a hummingbird's.

Embry was so warm. The random thought just occurred to me. So warm. I felt safe, too. Safe and lo—cared for. I could hear his breathing, calm and steady. I yawned slightly, covering my mouth. Without thinking, I leaned against Embry and my eyelids fluttered closed. I felt like I was in my own bubble, like nothing could hurt me and I would never be alone…

…My eyes flew open as the scent of food hit my nose. I was _starving._ My stomach growled, and I blushed as I both heard and felt Embry laugh. I frowned and made to get up, but, yet again, he held me back.

"Are you sure you're okay to walk?" Embry asked, looking me in the eyes as if trying to find the truth there. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I offered a smile that felt so natural on my face that I wondered why it was ever off. "I'm okay. Thanks for the concern, though." Before I did something I would regret, I shuffled off his lap, and he took my elbow gently and helped me up. I immediately missed the warmth when he let go and we were standing a couple feet apart. I headed to the kitchen, sniffing the air.

"Food…" I mumbled, shaking my head. I swear I heard Embry chuckle behind me. "Emily, Emily, food, please?"

Emily, in the kitchen, smiled up at me. She reached into the microwave and brought out a plate of mashed potatoes, beef, and melted cheese on the aforementioned mashed potatoes. I grinned gratefully.

"There's some white cheddar popcorn in a bag in the cupboard, if you'd like," Emily said. "I don't think the boys discovered it yet." I almost tore open the cupboard doors and almost drooled when I saw the familiar black bag—looking like a bag of chips, really—with white cheddar popcorn. I ripped it openly as neatly as I could and ran to the living room with it, and my plate of food, too. I was too hungry to register Embry's amused chuckles. I scarfed down my food voraciously before Embry even arrived in the living room with his load of victuals. When I got to the popcorn, I was more civilized and had my wits about me. I plucked popcorn by popcorn out of the bag, popping them into my mouth and savoring the white cheddar taste that was to _die_ for. I was distracted only by Embry groaning.

"No sharing, Jani?" he teased. I sent him a fake glare, jutting my lower lip out for added effect. Embry only grinned cheekily. I flicked popcorn over to him and it hit him in the face. I smiled evilly and began flicking more popcorn over at him. Embry began trying to catch them in his mouth and swallow them before the next one came—and, darn it, once he decided to do that, I couldn't hit him in the face with the popcorn anymore. But it was amusing.

* * *

The next day, Emily was busy preparing the food. Cali rested—the astral projection had taken its toll on her—and I helped make the food. It was like we were feeding an army. Then again, with how I've seen the boys eat, I wasn't surprised. We spent so much time making food—hot dogs, burgers, mashed potatoes, rice, chicken, pork, and so much more in such large quantities that I almost thought we were feeding a third-world country. In fact, by the time we were finished—or by the time Emily was satisfied with how much we'd made—it was time to get dressed.

I was rummaging through my clothes, wondering what to wear. Emily had said it would be only a little chilly, that I'd definitely be warmed up at any rate, and that I should dress up—she had given me an almost knowing smile, which I just couldn't for the life of me figure out why. I'd settled on comfort clothes; a pair of black Capri jeans, a white t-shirt, and an indigo spaghetti-strap midriff on top of that. I had a love for layering clothes. It definitely helped in this chilly place. I brushed through my hair a couple times until Emily and I had to start loading the food into the truck with Sam's help. Cali was already at the beach—Seth was babysitting her, for some reason, and they'd already gone.

When we finally arrived at the beach, the sun was setting and a huge bonfire had already been started. Some of the guys lingered around the fire, and others stood chatting or something. I noticed the Elders were there—apparently, from what Emily told me, they were Billy Black, Sue Clearwater, and Old Quil, and even Sam was considered one.

"They're going to tell the legends," Emily informed me as we set the food on the tables. Kim came striding over to help up, and I gave her a warm hug.

"Great to see you, Kimmy-cake," I teased, having heard Jared call her that once. Kim blushed. She playfully hit my arm.

"Hey," she said, "I'm going to laugh whenever you get a boyfriend and he calls you pet names." I laughed.

"_If_ I ever a get a boyfriend, that is," I replied. Kim raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, you will," she said knowingly. My brows furrowed in confusion. Kim flounced around to the truck and helped Emily set up even more food.

"Uh… Yeah, well," I muttered awkwardly. "I'm just gonna go say hi to some of the guys…" Before she could respond, I skipped away towards a group of guys. One of them turned, noticing me, and grinned.

"Hey, it's Jani," said Jared.

"Hey, Jare-Bear," I sang with a grin, giving him a hug and a peck on the cheek. I noticed Paul standing nearby, so I ambushed him in a hug. "Hi, Polly Pocket."

"Hey, Squirt," Paul greeted, somewhat lazily. I pecked him on the cheek, too. Paul, being Paul, gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

"Ew," I muttered, wiping the slobber from my cheek. "You're like a big puppy, aren't you? A puppy with a bad temper…" Paul rolled his eyes.

"Did you bring any food?"

"Of course…_that_'_s_ what you care about… My bad, I thought humans were higher on the list…"

"So did you?"

"Yes," I deadpanned. Who else was in this little group?

"Jani!" the childish voice of Quil yelped. I felt myself immediately enveloped in a scorching hug and being swung around. "I missed you!"

"I—missed—you—too!" I choked out as Quil spun me in the air. I was getting dizzy when I felt myself being pried from Quil's grasp. I almost fell to my knees, but someone held me up. I looked up at my savior and almost fell to my knees again. But I managed a smile. "Always the savior. Hey, Embry."

Embry smiled down at me, his teeth gleaming. "Hi, Jani," he said softly.

"Uh… You can let go of me, now," I said. "I'm okay. Just a bit dizzy." I shot a glare at a sheepish Quil.

"Mm…Nah."

"What?" I blurted, looking back up at Embry. He was wearing a mischievous smirk.

"I don't think I'll let you go," Embry clarified. "They might wanna spin you around again." He held me tighter against him, and I almost blushed. I rolled my eyes to play it off.

"Oh, really?" I looked back at the guys. "Paul! Save me!" I felt Embry tighten his grip, though it definitely wasn't uncomfortable. Paul just grinned, a devious glint in his eyes.

"Don't even think about it," Embry warned Paul, who was coming over. Before I knew what was going on, I was stolen away from Embry and thrown over Paul's shoulder. I squeaked as he ran away from Embry, laughing. Embry growled and chased after us, and the rest of the guys laughed.

"Paul!" I complained. "This is _so_ uncomfortable." Paul huffed and, I could tell, rolled his eyes. He dropped me slightly, adjusting his hold on me, still laughing as he looked behind at Embry. I wrapped my arms around Paul's neck and my legs around his waist so I wouldn't fall off. "You'd better not drop me!"

Paul barked out another laugh. "What makes you think that?"

"Paul!"

"Kidding, Squirt."

Embry caught up to us in that moment and grabbed Paul's shirt, efficiently yanking him back. I was about to crash and fall on top of Paul when Embry caught me, stuck his tongue out at the fallen Paul, and ran away. I laughed as Paul ran after Embry and I.

"What is this?" I asked incredulously. "Keep-Away-Jani?" Embry grinned. He was carrying me bridal-style, which was a bit more uncomfortable. I frowned. "Can we head back, Embry?"

I slung my arms around his neck and, with all the strength I could muster, pulled myself up and wrapped my legs around his waist, like I'd done to Paul. The difference between then and now were the reactions. Paul didn't care—I was just like a sister to him. Embry, however, tensed slightly. I blushed, though it was dark and he probably couldn't see. I wasn't even thinking about it when I did that—it was just something I'd do with anyone. However, pressed as close to Embry as I was now, I could feel his every muscle, feel the heat rolling off of him in waves. Embry still rushed to the bonfire, though, Paul running after us. I laughed.

"Well, what's this?" Quil teased as Embry carried me to the bonfire. I buried my face in Embry's neck, my eyes closed.

"I'm sleepy," I muttered. It was true, too; the adrenaline rush from the Keep-Away game was quickly leaving me. Embry was just too warm and comfortable. I could feel Embry adjusting me so I was sitting in his lap as he sat down against a log. I could already no longer distinguish between the voices of those around me. The only thing I heard was Embry's heartbeat, lulling into a sense of security and comfort. I felt my lips curl just the slightest, and I buried my face into his neck even more, my hands clutching the thin fabric of his t-shirt. I allowed myself a soft smile when I felt Embry kiss the top of my head.

* * *

It all hit me at once. I heard the waves lapping at the shore, the fire crackling, the people laughing and talking in groups. The last thing to register was the warmth all around me, the quick beating of a heart, the secure embrace around me. When I did remember where I was and what I was doing there, I felt like a million butterflies were released in the bottom of my stomach. My face was heating up, and I knew that I didn't look calm and asleep anymore. That was my first mistake. I brought my hands to my face, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I moved away from Embry. I didn't want to see his face or the faces of everyone around me. I just wanted to disintegrate, right there. The crisp, cold air against my skin woke me up. I reluctantly pulled my hands from my face and ran them through my hair. I looked up at Embry, who was leaning against a log behind us with his arms crossed behind his head; the picture of ease. I made to get up from his lap when two muscular arms wrapped around my waist and brought me back.

"Where are you going?" Embry whispered in my ear. I almost shivered.

"Getting away from my stalker," I joked. I felt Embry frown into my neck. I laughed and tried to move. "Or warden. Same principle."

"Ha, ha. Very funny."

"Meh." I pouted childishly and gave up trying to get away; it was no use, at any rate. "How long was I asleep?"

"You were asleep for about half an hour," answered Embry. "Good thing you got here early. Oh, and Jake brought a friend, by the way… She came a few minutes ago. Actually, I'm surprised you didn't wake up." My brows furrowed.

"Should I have?"

"Well… We all greeted her a bit loudly, that's all. Just surprised you didn't wake up from the noise."

I grinned and decided to go out on a limb. "Nah. I was too comfortable asleep."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Mm…nope."

"Aw, you wound me," Embry said dramatically. My grin grew.

"Let me go so I can greet the new girl," I told him.

"How do you know Jacob brought a girl?"

"I guessed. You said 'she' before, anyway. And why would he bring a guy? There's enough testosterone here as is." I patted his arm. "Release, Em, release." Embry chuckled and I felt his hold on me loosen. I broke free and got to my feet, sticking my tongue out at him victoriously as I made my way to the tables of food.

"Ah, _there_ you are!" Emily said. "You know, you'd better get your food now before we let the guys loose."

"Of course." I grinned and headed for a disposable plate. "And who's this new girl? Jacob's girlfriend?"

"Have you met her?" Emily asked.

"No," I replied. "I just guessed. I haven't even seen her, to tell you the truth. Sleeping, remember?"

"Oh, right."

"And what a nice nap it was," I sighed dramatically. Emily giggled, looking at me quizzically.

"I definitely saw you and Embry getting cozy," she teased.

"Well, I don't know about that." I felt my face heat up, but the huge grin didn't leave my face. "So where's this new toy?"

Emily gave an unamused smirk and tutted. "Her name is _Bella_, and she's not a toy."

"Oh, of course, of course," I said, not even trying to sound like I was sorry. I glanced over at the group of guys who were watching the table of food with hunger. I noticed Jacob come from behind them, pulling a girl by the hand towards the table. "That her?"

Emily nodded. The girl—Bella, was it?—was unimpressive. For all the hype I've heard about this girl, I didn't expect such an average person. Brown hair, pale ivory skin, short, and looking awkward and clumsy. I guess it's true that people find others more attractive the more average they are. I'd heard this girl had both Jacob and another guy's heart, without even lifting a finger. It was almost ridiculous.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked with a frown, looking at my displeased expression. I imagine I resembled Leah.

"Yeah, peachy," I replied offhandedly. I really didn't care for people who messed with others' hearts. Bella was not in my good books. Then again, I haven't met her. Still, I didn't really care too much for her. I looked around and saw Leah sitting against a log, alone, her eyes closed. She looked—now that I really saw her—sad. I headed over to her and stood a few feet away.

"What do you want?" Leah muttered, not even bothering to open her eyes.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" I asked.

"Why not?" she mumbled somewhat sarcastically. I felt someone's eyes on me and ignored it as I sat down besides her.

"Are you okay, Leah?" Her eyes opened and focused on me. They were cold and wary, but at least they weren't filled with hatred.

"What's it to you?"

"Leah… Why are you sad?" Leah winced slightly, though her expression remained hard and bitter. She didn't answer me. "Leah… I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" she barked. "What for?" She still sounded bitter.

"I… I guess I don't know. I'm sorry for whatever life's done to you… Life sucks, I know. I mean, my parents were…just a few weeks ago…" I paused to inhale deeply, shaking off the tears that threatened to fall. "I guess I understand that something must've happened to you…"

Leah was unusually quiet. She looked bitter, still—it would take a lot of work for her to lose the acidity she held—but she had softened somehow.

"And…anyway…I'm here if you want to talk," I said quietly. "I just…wanted to let you know." I got up and left Leah, heading for one of the logs where no one was. I felt a sense of disappointment as I sat down against the log. What was I hoping for? For Leah to call me back, tell me all her troubles, and hope we'd become the best of friends? Right. I picked at my food, finishing it slowly. When I set the empty plate down, I heard movement nearby. I looked up to see the girl named Bella standing by awkwardly.

"Do you mind—?" she asked softly. I shook my head.

"Go ahead." She nodded and sat down nearby, picking at her food. "I'm Jani, by the way."

She offered a shy smile. "Bella."

"So I've heard," I said with a slight smirk. She blushed.

"Oh." Bella went back to picking at her food.

"So what's the deal with you and Jacob?"

"We're just friends." She said it firmly, as if she was reassuring herself instead of me. "And I have a boyfriend," Bella tacked on as an afterthought. I grinned cheekily.

"Sure you do." Bella looked over at me as if unsure whether that was an insult or not. I grinned to myself. I felt like messing with this girl. "Does your boyfriend know you're here?" I asked innocently.

Bella nodded. "Yes. Yes, he does."

"I have to wonder, Bella," I commented as naively as I could. "Is your boyfriend as"—I almost choked through this part—"gorgeous as Jacob?" Inside, I was dying of laughter for having said those words—it wasn't that he wasn't, well, gorgeous; he just couldn't hold a candle to…er…never mind.

Bella, though, was blushing so furiously that I almost mistook her for a tomato. She wasn't looking at me, and she seemed to be avoiding looking at something else. I looked across the fire and saw Jacob watching us. I grinned and stuck out my tongue playfully at him. He rolled his eyes, but there was the ghost of an amused smile on his features. I also saw, now that I'd looked over, Embry standing a little away from Jacob, looking a bit pissed off. He was shooting Jacob glares. I wondered what Jacob must have done to make him angry, but shrugged it off and turned back to Bella.

"So, Bella, what was that?" I prodded. Bella frowned. I was cracking up internally. I decided to save her from her misery. "Well, never mind. Tell me, is this your first time at a bonfire?"

Bella nodded. "Jake wanted me to come hear the legends."

"It's my first time, too," I said. Bella looked over at me, then at something past the bonfire, a knowing look in her eyes.

"So you don't know—?" She trailed off, letting the question hang.

"Know what?" I asked, my brows furrowing.

"About—you know—"

"Bella!" Jacob called, suddenly joining us. "Uh, Bella, we, uh, Emily wanted to see you. Come on."

"Wait, Jake, but—"

"Come on," he repeated, taking her hand and leading her away. He sounded rushed, like he was hurried or something. But what was that about?

"Jani?" I looked up, behind me, smiling when I saw Embry.

"Hey, Em," I greeted. He gave a crooked smile and sat down on the log.

"So…" I looked up at him.

"So?" He laughed. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing," he replied. "It's just funny."

"What's funny?"

"The situation." I smiled.

"I don't see the humor, but okay," I said, laughing. Embry slid off the log and landed besides me. I almost choked on my laughter at how close he was. I managed to play it off by joking. "Well, hello, there." Embry's grin broadened. He opened his mouth to say something when I noticed that everyone had gathered around the bonfire in a circle, either sitting against the logs or on top of them. I saw Bella and Jacob across the fire, and I noticed the Elders sitting together, facing the rest of us. I looked across at the people gathered. I saw Cali dozing off in Seth's lap and I noted, with a twinge of regret and shame, that I'd all but forgotten the existence of my little sister. I looked around again and noticed Paul was sitting nearby me. I wondered how I didn't notice that before, but shrugged it off as I saw Jacob put his arm around Bella. She looked comfortable, and not at all bothered by it. I seethed with anger when I thought about what she would do to Jacob—she accepted his advances without knowing it, even after she had a boyfriend.

"Time for the stories," Embry whispered to me, sitting up. I turned my head a fraction, looking at him out of the corner of my eyes.

"Stories? You mean the legends?" I whispered back. I straightened and trained my eyes on the Elders. I'd remembered tidbits, pieces of legends about the Quileutes from what my father used to tell me when I was little, but I really had no idea. I knew there was something about Spirit Warriors, which Emily and Sam had compared my astral projecting to.

The fire crackled, and everyone seemed to suddenly focus intensely on the Elders, waiting with bated breath. I allowed a small smile to grace my lips as Billy cleared his throat.

"The Quileutes have been a small people from the beginning. And we are a small people still, but we have never disappeared. This is because there has always been magic in our blood. It wasn't always the magic of shape-shifting—that came later. First, we were spirit warriors…"

I listened to Billy's voice, hardly noticing when my eyes closed. I felt as if I was really there, experiencing what he spoke of. I could relate. I felt as if I was there, in the time of the Quileute Spirit Warriors. I could picture it, feel it. First Beach was gone—it was no longer a bonfire, and there were no longer any of these people. It was the tribe, the ship builders, the fishermen, the wives—it was these people I saw. I felt the anger and fear they felt when a larger tribe moved against us. I felt the worry the wives felt when their husbands took their spirits to wreak havoc on the enemy and fight back. I felt the anger of the spirit army, felt the pride when they drove off their enemies.

I delved even deeper into the story when he spoke of Taha Aki. It felt so real, so odd. I felt myself slipping away, almost. I was angered and worried when I heard of Utlapa taking over Taha Aki's body, leaving Taha Aki to roam the spirit world eternally. I shuddered, thinking about how horrible that would be and wondering, somewhat morbidly, if the same could happen to me.

I listened, enchanted, when Billy spoke of how the first shape-shifters came to be. It was an interesting thought and, again, I wondered if I could possibly do the same. I was amazed when they spoke of how Taha Aki turned to human from wolf, and how his children later did the same. I was brought out of my reverie, though, when I heard Quil mutter something.

"So that's why Sam is all black. Black heart, black fur." My brows furrowed. What? Sam? I opened my eyes, almost surprised to see I was back at the bonfire.

"And your chocolate fur reflects what?" I heard Sam whisper back. "How _sweet_ you are?" I closed my eyes immediately, somewhat shocked. What did this mean? They were shape-shifters? Like Taha Aki? I snorted under my breath, then regretted it as I felt someone's gaze on me. Of course. It was stupid of me to assume my legends would be true, but theirs wouldn't. Still, I felt a little hypocritical when I had trouble believing it.

Billy finished the story, ignoring Sam and Quil. I felt a few eyes on me, but I kept my eyes closed. I heard Old Quil begin a new legend—of the third wife's sacrifice. This one introduced beings called Cold Ones. At this, I wasn't sure what to say. But when I heard the next words—"They called it The Cold One, the Blood Drinker"—I knew. Vampires. It was a little hard not to be skeptical, I found, of a legend that I hadn't lived. But I tried to ponder the possibility.

And it hit me right when I remembered about Cali's astral projection—she'd been there when our parents died, watching. She was there when—I now realized—vampires drank their blood. I kept my breathing normal, trying to tune back into the legend, acting like nothing happened.

When they finished the story, I was nearly certain that these boys I'd met over the past couple of weeks—this _pack_—were shape-shifters. And even if I wasn't, Quil's statement would have definitely affirmed my belief.

"Burden," he scoffed lowly at what his grandfather said. "I think it's cool." I opened my eyes to see him pout and noticed Seth nodding.

"So you _are_ shape-shifters?" I asked quietly.

I almost regretted doing so whenever everyone's gazes turned to me. Apparently, because even Bella looked like she already knew this by the way she barely noted the question, I was the only one left out on the secret. I clenched my jaw. She wasn't even Quileute—it wasn't hard to tell with her albino pale skin and the fact that she looked like she knew she didn't belong here. Nobody answered me. I think they were all a bit wary, awaiting this reaction. I looked over at Sam, almost hurt.

"And my parents really _were_ killed by vampires, weren't they?"

* * *

**Yeah, this chapter was originally (but not for long) 10k words. Now it's around seven, almost eight, thousand. I wanted to keep around seven thousand for each chapter, so, yeah. This wasn't the way it was going to end, but I guess the first ending to this chapter will be in the middle of the next chapter. It's a whole new kinda cliffy, one that doesn't make sense. Whatever.**

**Please review, and enjoy(:**

**-HunnyABee  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Guidance**

**Chapter Five**

* * *

**Previously:**

_"Burden," Quil scoffed. "I think it's cool."_

_"So you're shape-shifters?" I asked quietly. "And my parents really were killed by vampires, weren't they?"_

* * *

This last part, some people didn't know had happened; I could tell by their surprised expressions, though minutely restrained. So Sam _hadn't_ told that last one to everyone.

"Jani—" Sam started. I interrupted.

"Nice to know," I muttered bitterly.

"Jani, we—" Emily stopped short when I turned my glare on her. I saw her look a bit hurt, so I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Whatever." I exhaled slowly, then inhaled, but when I tried to breathe, I felt a sharp pain near where I guessed my left lung was. "Ah," I breathed, clutching my abdomen as the pain left. I couldn't move—it hurt too much. I couldn't breathe too deeply or it hurt even worse. It felt so uncomfortable.

"Are you okay?" Embry asked quickly, hovering by me.

"I'm fine," I mumbled. It was still quiet as most eyes were on me. It was an awkward silence. I looked towards Emily, keeping my breathing normal. I managed a weak smile. "So… Spirit Warriors?"

Emily looked as if she'd just remembered something important—which she probably had. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "I forgot, I'm sorry." I noticed many of the gazes that were on me moved to her. "Was it?"

"Was it what?" I asked.

"Well… Was it anything like yours?" Emily asked tentatively, not sure if she should give it out. I gave a halfhearted smile.

"Somewhat," I replied with a weak chuckle. "Though I think I'm afraid of projecting now that I've heard _that_ story."

"Will someone explain what's going on?" Paul asked, looking to me. Only Sam, Emily, Embry, Quil, Seth, and maybe the Elders knew what we were talking about.

"I'm part Navajo," I started. I noticed, across the fire, that Bella had dozed off in Jacob's arms. My lips twitched in amusement, though I was still pretty mad she was messing with his heart. I shook my head.

"So?" said Paul. Embry, I noticed, glared at him.

"I'm part Navajo and part Quileute," I repeated. "See, the Navajos have legends, too—I'm not so sure about them, though, and I only really know one, and not even that well—"

"Just explain, Jani," Quil interrupted. I shot him a glare.

"Well, Navajos have something like Spirit Warriors. We can use astral projection—I'm not sure if that's maybe what the Quileutes did, because we can do things a little differently. It's, well, it's like the Spirit Warriors. You send your spirit out, your psyche, your soul. We have a sort-of rubber band, as I call it, that tethers us to our body—I think it's called an astral cord. I still don't know if we can inhabit others' bodies—I haven't tried and I'm not going to try with my sisters. The best way to explain would be to show you."

"But we wouldn't be able to see you," Jacob commented, a bit puzzled but looking interested. I grinned.

"Actually, now you can. I've been practicing." The confusion was palpable, almost. I looked towards Embry. "Mind making sure I don't hit my head or something?" He opened his arms. I rolled my eyes. "Fine, whatever." I closed my eyes and felt myself lifting away. It was getting easier each time I practiced. I saw my body fall limp against Embry, who immediately caught me and settled me in his arms.

I felt warmth flood my cheeks, even in astral form. I shook my head and walked over to Paul. I made myself visible.

"Boo."

Paul's yell was the most hilarious part of the demonstration. I was laughing, as were the others. He glared at them and they shut up for a short minute, but still chuckled.

"Aw, Polly Pocket, did I frighten you?" I teased in a childish voice.

"Amazing," Billy commented before Paul could reply. I grinned and in a second was standing in front of him. He looked at my self, in Embry's arms, and then at my astral projection. "How can you make yourself visible?"

"Practice," I responded proudly.

"But you're fading," Quil pointed out. I looked down at myself. I _was_ fading. I frowned.

"I'm still not too good at it." I faded away.

"Jani? Jani? Where is she _now_?" I grinned, knowing my next victim. I wondered… Could I control the wind in a similar way to that when the Spirit Warriors did? I tried to focus, tried to soar through Quil. "Ah!" I heard him scream. Everyone looked towards him. "So cold…" He shivered. "Jani, not cool!"

I laughed, and I heard my own laugh carry out in the wind. I made myself visible. "I'm like a ghost now," I muttered, shaking my head.

"Jani!" Quil glared at me, now that he could see me.

"Don't worry, Quil. I'm _so_ not doing that again," I said in a disgusted tone. "Believe me, going through you was swimming through a swamp." I heard laughter around the bonfire.

"T-through me?" Quil squeaked. "It felt like icy rain! Don't do that, I'm _begging_ you!"

I grinned and tapped the side of my nose. "No promises to any of you." I faded and laughed again as I saw some of the guys looking around them warily. I snapped back to my body, jolting upright in Embry's arms with a shock. "Ow," I whimpered. My side hurt—where it had hurt earlier, when I was breathing after glaring at Emily. It hurt worse, like a bruise. I raised my shirt up, ignoring any comments from the guys. I heard the collective gasp when I found a bruise on my side.

"What happened?" Embry blurted. "Are you okay? Was that my fault? Does it—"

"Embry, shush," I interrupted, pulling my shirt down. "I've got to stop snapping back… It's giving me bruises."

"You mean," Seth began, "you're getting bruises from doing—from projecting?" He looked horrified, and subconsciously pulled Cali closer to him. I understood his concern—Cali projected often, too.

"Cali doesn't snap back like I do," I stated. "She lays back down into her body. I usually take the rubber-band route." I narrowed my eyes slightly. "Seth, I'm sorry but I've _got_ to ask. Why the fascination over my sister?" It was quiet after I said that, like no one wanted to answer. Seth's eyes flickered over to Embry, who was still holding me.

"Well," Embry said, "there's this thing that we do—we're shape-shifters, like you said, werewolves." He looked at me so intensely, as if he was gauging my reactions. It almost shocked me, or would have if I didn't feel so warm inside. "See, we do this thing called imprinting. It's kinda like we see someone, no matter how old they are, who's our other half. We don't care about anything except making them happy and protecting them."

"So, Cali is Seth's…imprint?" It took a second to register, and I looked at Seth, who nodded. I sighed. "Well, at least I know you're not a pedophile… I think..." There was some laughter from the guys, though Seth and Quil protested.

"Hey!" Quil looked a bit put out. "Well, at least I'm not alone in this."

"Wait, you imprinted on a kid, too?" I questioned. Then it clicked. "Oh—Claire!"

"Yup," Quil said, grinning. He smiled softly.

"Well, she'll be good for you, then."

"How do you figure?"

"You definitely act way, _way_ more mature and calm around her," I jibed.

"Hey!"

"Oh, shut it, Quil. So, wait, let me guess," I said, looking around at the people. "Emily is Sam's and Kim is Jared's, right?" I received an affirmative from the group. Then my gaze fell on the sleeping Bella in Jacob's arms. I grimaced. I still didn't like her much. "Please tell me she's not—I mean, never mind." Jacob scowled at me and I thought I saw Leah smile for a second.

"Jani?" I looked back at Embry, my breath caught slightly. I smiled slightly, and he reciprocated the smile.

"Hello," I said pleasantly. Embry rolled his eyes. Then he got serious. He looked at me worriedly. I frowned. "What's up, Embry?"

"I…er…Do you want see my wolf form?" I had the lurking suspicion that that wasn't what he had originally wanted to say. However, I stuffed that suspicion in the back of my noggin.

"Sure." He got up and, when I was about to stand, offered a hand to me. I smiled and took his hand. He led me to the forest near where we were on the cliff. I barely registered that we were leaving a group of people behind with the bonfire as we headed to the trees. He stopped abruptly and dropped my hand, turning around to look at me for a moment.

"Please don't be afraid…" he said softly. I reached out a hand towards him, but he backed away and walked deeper into the forest. I stood there, waiting. I felt a little hurt, a little stung, but I shook it off—there was no reason to feel that way… He'd already said he was going to show me his wolf form… I should've kept that in mind…

I heard a low whimper and vaguely saw a figure coming from the darkness of the forest. As it got closer and my eyes adjusted, I saw it was an enormous wolf—a bit bigger than a horse. It was gray, a light gray, with, I think, black spots on its back. It was beautiful—I'd always loved canines like wolves and coyotes due to my background. It took me a moment to realize it was Embry. Even so, it didn't hit me until the wolf was right in front of me, whimpering slightly. I remembered how Embry looked so hurt, how he would be so concerned about what I thought. I was just standing there, rooted to the spot. What would he think I thought of him? I must have given him the wrong impression. The wolf whimpered a little more. I fought back a smile and reached up to pet it—him. Embry came closer and nuzzled his head into my hand. I smiled and hugged him around the neck.

"You're beautiful, Embry," I whispered. Embry seemed to purr, almost, if wolves could. I kissed his muzzle, moving my hand along his wolfy face and through his fur. "You know… Navajos have legend about Coyote, who was a God to them… But I think I like wolves more." I smiled as Embry let out a bark of laughter. I pressed my cheek to his face and kissed his snout. "I've always wanted a dog… But, now, I think I'll chuck the dog and stick with the wolf. What do you say?" The wolf-Embry licked the side of my face and nuzzled his nose into my neck. I laughed. He stepped away and turned to go back into the dark forest. When Embry came back, human, he was beaming.

"So you weren't afraid?" he asked excitedly. I grinned.

"Never!" Before I knew what was happening, Embry was spinning me around. I shrieked with laughter, and he laughed along with me. Then he set me down and hugged me to his chest tightly. He was so happy, it was contagious.

"Oh, God, I'm so glad," I heard him say under his breath. I blushed, but pretended not to hear. Embry looked down at me and grinned. "Any questions?"

"About being a teenage werewolf?" I joked. He nodded with an even broader smile. I smiled at my own joke. "Hmm… None that I can think of now. Though I do have a question."

"Ask me anything."

"Okay, well, explain imprinting. I kinda didn't get all of it, I'm guessing." Embry's face fell slightly, and he looked serious. He sighed and ran a hand through his short hair. He took my hand and led me out of the forest. "Embry?" I asked. He didn't head for the bonfire, but instead we walked down to the shore. Somewhere far enough away from the shore that we wouldn't get wet, he sat down and I followed. Embry lied down on his back, arms folded behind his head as I've seen him so many times before. I propped myself up on my elbow, staring down at him.

"Imprinting is…" Embry sighed, closing his eyes. "When a werewolf imprints, it's like his imprint is his world. She's what holds us to this world, not the earth—she's the gravity. They're what we love the most, what we need. It's almost like an obsession. The moment he sees _her_, she's our everything. It's impossible for us to be mad at them. We treasure them above all else, even oxygen. It's like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time… Like a mother seeing her children for the first time when they're born…"

"So…is it like your soul mate?" Embry took my hand absentmindedly.

"Maybe," he answered truthfully. "It's stronger than that… We're anything and everything to our imprints… It's like, we're their friend, lover, brother, father—anything they want us to be. We exist _for_ them."

"So… Seth's _not_ a pedophile, right?" Embry chuckled and I couldn't help but smile.

"No… Just an overprotective big brother," he replied. "Just like Quil is a much abused nanny. But, in the future, Seth might marry Cali."

"Wait, wait, wait," I interrupted. "First off, won't he be too old?"

"We don't age as long as we phase, or change into a wolf, regularly."

"Sweet. But still, I practically already have a brother-in-law!" He smiled. There was a comfortable silence for a moment. I laid down on my side, facing Embry. There was something comforting about being with him…something I couldn't place…

"Jani…" Embry breathed. He turned over, facing me. He was lying on his side, our intertwined hands between us on the sand. I felt my heart racing.

"I have another question…" I said quietly. "Why are you the one to tell me this? Why not Seth since he imprinted on my little sister?" Embry looked up at me, but I couldn't decipher the emotions in his eyes.

"Jani, the reason why is because…I imprinted on you."

I felt my heart stop for precious moments. I was suddenly aware of my breathing, my hand in Embry's, his gaze on me, and just how nervous I was. That possibility—that _he_ might have imprinted on _me_—never occurred to me. However, now that I think about it, I'm sure I would've been devastated if I had given thought to the fact that Embry might imprint—well, if he hadn't already—on someone besides me. It was confusing, it was frightening.

"Jani?" Embry's tone broke my heart. It felt like a hole was left in my chest and being vacuumed. I squeezed his hand and gave him a soft smile. Embry looked broken. I didn't want him so broken. I wanted Embry better.

"When's the wedding?" I joked. Embry grinned and he laughed. "I'm sorry. It was just a shock for a moment—I'm good now, though."

"You don't mind?"

"Not any more than I mind having Seth for a future brother-in-law," I assured, though, truthfully, I wasn't sure. It was still a little weird, knowing Embry and I were meant to get together, but it would work out. For now, we were good friends.

* * *

I woke up late the next day. It was afternoon, and I could hear sounds of people—of the pack—hanging out in the living room. I didn't even bother brushing my hair before I walked out of my room and looked into the living room. Unfortunately, they saw me before I could run back to my room.

"Hey, Jani!" Quil greeted exuberantly. He wriggled his eyebrows at me. "So, when's the wedding?" I yawned and walked out to the living room to slap him on the back of the head.

"Shuddup, Quilt," I muttered. "I will _laugh_ when Claire goes through puberty." Quil promptly shut up. The rest of the guys who were there—Jared with Kim, Paul, Jacob, and Seth—laughed. I grinned triumphantly.

"Hey, Squirt," said Paul, "nice pajamas." I scowled at him.

"There is _nothing_ wrong with my choice in sleepwear," I protested. Sure, I was wearing Spongebob Squarepants print short-shorts and midriff, but it wasn't bad. A bit revealing, I now noticed, but not bad. I could smell Emily cooking in the kitchen—chicken, I think.

"I'm not saying there was," Paul commented, rolling his eyes before giving a smirk and winking.

"Eat your heart out." I blew a kiss at him. "I should've probably brushed my hair, though." I ran my fingers through my hair, removing whatever knots I could. "Oh, well." I skipped over to Jacob, grinning saccharinely all the while. "So, _Jakey_, how's Bella?" Jacob looked at me, trying to decide whether or not I was with him or against him here.

"What do _you_ think about Bella?" he asked. "I know some people don't like her, but she's not bad! She's amazing, and beautiful, and sweet, and—"

"Jacob, I really don't want to know your reasons for, er, being attracted to her," I interrupted. He frowned at me. "Honestly, I kinda don't like her." He opened his mouth to protest, but I cut him off. "Were it not for the fact that she's playing you like a fiddle, I might kinda like her. Maybe. Not really."

" 'Playing you like a fiddle'?" Quil repeated.

"She's not _playing me_!" Jacob growled angrily.

"Jacob, you're going to get hurt," I said bluntly. "There's no other way to put it. She's playing you, and you're going to lose."

Jacob started shaking horribly, and the guys were tensed and watching him. Quil and Seth leapt up and went over to him, just in case something happened. I guess he was angry enough to phase into a wolf, if that's how it worked. I had half a mind to astral project right now—I'd want to see how he'd look after seeing me drop to the ground, unconscious, practically dead. Then again, he knows what I can do…but still. Were it not for my pride, I would've backed down and just gone to my room to cool off. However, I was staring him off with an almost-dead emotionless expression on my face. Stupid decision? You bet'cha. But, hey, I just woke up. He stopped shaking gradually, then he stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Emily came rushing out of the kitchen.

"What happened?" she asked quickly.

"Jacob just got a taste of reality, that's all," I replied coldly. I went to my room, already tired of all the eyes on me. It might've been wrong of me to say that about Bella, and it might've been wrong to say it so callously, but Jacob was _blind_. That girl had a boyfriend. That girl was also cuddling up with Jacob at the bonfire, accepting his advances and leading him on—that girl _conveniently_ forgot about her boyfriend. Looks like she doesn't care about either of them. Whoever her real boyfriend is, I feel bad for him. With every negative thought about Bella, my initial indifference to her grew to dislike and to hatred.

I heard the doorknob turning and the door to my room opened and closed. I was sitting on my bed, facing away from the door, but I'm sure I knew who that was.

"Jani," Embry's voice called. I fought a smile and instead turned over and laid down on my bed, facing the ceiling.

"Let me guess," I said dryly, "you're here to scold me, right? About how I shouldn't tell Jacob the truth because it'll hurt his feelings and about how I shouldn't insult Bella by assuming such things? If that's what you're here for, save me the lecture. I wouldn't listen, anyway—I'm much too stubborn." I frowned at the ceiling.

The bed dipped as Embry's weight settled on the end. I didn't like it. I knew he was on the end of the bed, and that was a little too far. I felt like I had when my parents died and I cried to him—like he would judge me and leave me. I was ashamed of what I did, not for Jacob or for Emily and certainly not for Bella, but for Embry.

"That's not what I came to say," I heard him speak. I closed my eyes. "I just wanted to tell you—I'm asking you, don't bait him."

I sat up and opened my eyes, staring at him. No scolding? I blinked. "What do you mean?"

Embry opened his mouth then closed it and looked away for a moment, running a hand through his messy short hair. I was distracted for a moment, and then he looked back at me.

"Don't get him riled up," he said. "He might attack you, and I don't want you hurt." I felt the corners of my lips twitch, and I couldn't stop the smile that spread on my face, try as I might. So he was worried?

"Thanks," I said softly, reaching for his hand.

"For what?" Embry asked me, intertwining our fingers.

"For caring." I looked up at him, at his warm dark eyes, his soft, reserved smile, and his lightly tinged cheeks. "And, of course, for not scolding me for saying…er…some bad things about Bella." His face dropped, but only by a bit.

"Well… It's hard to… I can't be mad at you, remember?" I grinned at him. "And, anyways, most of the guys agree with you…"

"Well, _that_ makes me feel better," I joked. Embry smiled—I liked his smile. "I was meaning to ask this… Why are you here? You weren't even in the house when I yelled at Jacob…"

"Ah… Well… We can hear each other's thoughts when we're in wolf form," Embry explained. "As soon as Jacob phased…we all heard." He sounded like he was editing. This disgruntled me.

"What else?"

"Huh?"

"You're not telling me something," I insisted. "What happened?"

Embry sighed. "Well… Jacob was pretty pissed off at you…and I kinda had an…argument with him." I frowned, but accepted it.

"Well…moving on," I said, changing the subject. "What's up in the world of my teenage werewolf?" Embry brightened almost immediately, and I beamed at the contagious happiness he radiated.

"Teenage werewolf? Will you never stop with that?" he muttered teasingly. I shook my head.

"Never!" He laughed at me. I saw something in his eyes—an emotion I couldn't name. "Hey, do you think you could, kinda, you know, get out? I need to change clothes," I added hastily when I saw his smile about to fall. Embry, a slight red tint to his cheeks, nodded and kissed my forehead, then got up and left the room. I bit my lip and fell back onto my pillow with a barely audible sigh.

* * *

When I did come out of my room after ten minutes of day dreaming and five minutes of quick changing—into dark green cargo pants and a green tank top—the people in the room were different. Jared and Kim weren't there, and neither were Quil, Paul, or Seth. Embry was here, and so was Leah. Sam and Emily were, undoubtedly, sitting together on the loveseat, much to Leah's disdain. When she saw me enter, though, she managed a small smile—it looked odd on her usually angry and bitter, but beautiful, face, but I smiled back. At least she was trying.

"Good afternoon," Sam greeted me. I looked at him oddly, waiting for him to scold me about riling up Jacob, but the lecture never came. It seemed like we were all just putting the incident behind us. Either that or, like Embry said, most of the pack agreed. I greeted all those who were here, then headed to Embry.

"Walk with me?" I asked. His face lit up and he nodded, following me out. "I'll be back later, Emily." She told me to be back for dinner. I grabbed Embry's hand as I closed the door behind us.

"Where are we going?" Embry asked with a slight smile as I led him down the road. Truthfully, I didn't know.

"Anywhere," I answered, throwing my free hand up in the air. "Everywhere. I don't know. Where do you wanna go?" I stopped and wheeled around to face him.

"Mind if I ask why we're out walking?"

"I needed to get out."

"Where do you want to go?" he asked me. I shrugged.

"I don't have a specific place in mind. I don't exactly know this place very well, either." I looked around us, then up at him. "Surprise me?"

Embry grinned and lead me along the edge of the forest. We walked peacefully—I swear the smile never left my face—and he never walked too far from me. All in all, it was a sweet moment. By the time we reached First Beach, my grin was already broader than it's ever been. When Embry looked back at me, I blushed. His own grin grew and he kissed my forehead before leading me down to the bottom of the cliff. I looked at him curiously as he let go of my hand and walked down a short, steep slope, then looked back up at me with a grin and held his hand out. I smiled and Embry helped me down to, I soon found, a very beautiful place.

It was a cove. It was incredible. It was dimly lit, of course, but whatever light there was reflected slightly off the shiny pebbles and rocks scattered about. A few little whirlpools, which I saw to be free of any life (thankfully, because I was a bit squeamish about being in the same water as urchins and other sea creatures). I walked around with an amazed grin as I looked at everything and took everything in. To some, this might seem a bit dull or boring—it was just a weird cave, right?—but it was beautiful to me. I crouched down near one of the pools and let my hand glide over the surface of the water. It was cool, clean, and still.

"You like?"

I almost—_almost_—forgot that Embry was there. I looked back at him, noticing how he appeared a bit nervous. I smiled.

"It's amazing, Em," I said breathily. "I mean, I've never been in a place like this—it's so pretty." A wide grin split his face, and his white teeth gleamed in the dim light.

"Really?" I nodded and got out of my crouch.

"_Really_," I insisted, taking his hand. "You worry too much, Em." He shrugged sheepishly, never once taking his eyes off me. I let out a short laugh.

"What?" he asked, lips twitching.

"Nothing, nothing." Embry was just…Embry. There wasn't a word to describe it. What made me laugh was the fact that, were it anyone else, I wouldn't take it all in stride. But he was my best friend, my imprinter, my werewolf, and my supposed soul mate.

"Sure, _nothing_." He ruffled my hair and pinched my cheek teasingly. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You're only a year older, don't act like I'm five," I deadpanned. Embry kissed my forehead.

"You don't have an age in my mind…strangely enough," he muttered. I smiled.

"I don't have an age in my mind, either. But, then again, I usually never see others for their _ages_ except little, little kids."

"And I'm sure Cali appreciates it," he said sarcastically. I snorted at that.

"No kidding," I agreed. Then I grinned at him. "But thanks. Nice to know someone else sees others agelessly as I do." I placed the back of my free hand to my forehead and sighed dramatically. Before I knew what was happening, I was lifted up off the floor. I wrapped my arms around Embry's neck and clung to him, terrified, as he spun around, laughing. "Not funny, Embry!"

"_I_ thought it was pretty funny," he jibed. When he stopped, I blew a raspberry at him. He smiled.

"Ugh, fine," I muttered darkly, though I had to bite back a smile. "It was a _little_, a very minutely little, funny, okay? Satisfied?"

"More than satisfied."

"I'm sure." I decided—in a split second, spur-of-the-moment thing—to do something and take him off guard. I went to kiss his cheek but instead, licked his cheek like a kitty would. Then I laughed at his surprised expression.

"What was _that_?"

"That was me wanting to see your reaction," I answered. "Although, truthfully, it was only a little bit as funny as what I thought it'd be."

"Sorry to disappoint." Those words made me pause for a moment before a grin spread over my face—not that hadn't been one there before. For some reason, these words meant something different. Did Embry disappoint me? No. Was I sad that he imprinted on me, because, technically, it meant I had no freedom to choose who I was destined with?

"You don't."

There was a silence and, for a moment, I thought I must've done something off. Then Embry let me down and took my hand, giving it a light squeeze.

"Let's head back," he said. For some reason, I felt like my heart dropped into my stomach. I expected him to say something more than that, something…something… I didn't even know. Whatever I expected, it wasn't that.

When we got back to Emily's—I guess I really _should_ start thinking of it as _my_ home, too, now—most of the pack was there. It was getting to be late afternoon. When we walked through the door of the house, we were immediately bombarded by the loud noises of the pack. Some of the guys were discussing stuff, others watching sports. Leah was in the back, arms crossed, sitting by her own, just looking around the room with a cold and distant expression. I waved at her and offered a smile, and she nodded, a ghost of a grin on her features. I was ecstatic that I was getting through to her.

I suddenly felt myself being pulled into a tight hug and felt another, smaller person clinging to my side.

"Jani, I'm so glad you understand the whole imprinting deal!" Seth said. "I never really got to tell you that before." I heard a growl from behind us and looked back over my shoulder to find Embry, looking somewhat strained. Seth quickly released me and scooped up Cali, who was beaming at me. Seth smiled at her and she hugged him tightly.

"Yeah, well, it's fine," I assured. "I really don't mind. However, I'm _so_ not helping you when you go to tell her about it, years from now." I grinned evilly. Seth looked a bit frightened at the thought, but shook it off and went to pay attention to his little imprint.

"So!" Quil's booming voice alerted me to his presence. He draped an arm over my shoulder, giving an odd hug. He grinned at me almost mockingly. "Dear little Jani's accepted the imprint, it seems?" I was then aware of Embry glaring at Quil, who then stepped a few feet away from me, and of the other occupants of the room listening, at least halfheartedly. "Well?" I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, what am I _supposed_ to do? It's smart to accept it—we'd be miserable without—er—each other." I stumbled over saying that last part, but continued. "Besides, it's not a bad deal. It's like…well, I wouldn't exactly call it a _fairytale_, but it's definitely up there."

"Oh, it isn't a fairytale? I would've thought so with all the werewolves running around," Seth joked.

"Oh, shut up," I muttered with a half-smile. "It's kind of weird, though. I would've thought, with my sometimes-overreactions, it'd be—I dunno—Paul. Or even you, Seth, since we're both sweeties." I grinned toothily. "But I'd much rather save you for my lovely sister. We both know she'll be a bombshell, that girl."

"I don't doubt it," Seth said, grinning almost proudly at the little girl in his arms. Cali rolled her eyes—something I bet she'd picked up from me…

"So Paul, then?" I felt my insides freeze. Embry sounded empty, emotionless. I knew, somehow, that it was a mask. I looked back at him, at his now stoic expression. I took his hand, and he didn't protest.

"Embry, you're much too sensitive," I tried to joke, tried to make the atmosphere a little lighter. If it lightened, it was very little. "Besides, I'm actually relieved and very glad it's you, not Paul."

"Really?"

"Yup," I said brightly, pinching his cheek. "Besides, you're kinda cute." Embry reddened slightly and I grinned as Seth and Quil laughed.

"Ha! So when's the wedding?" Quil teased. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Oh, I dunno, maybe on October twenty-sixth of the year—shut up, Quil!" I told him.

"Hey, no need to get testy with me, sheesh." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Gee, I wonder when Quil's honeymoon will be!"

Quil narrowed his eyes at me. "That was a low blow."

* * *

The next few days passed uneventfully. Embry and the others were busy with what I heard were patrols—they were looking for some vampires, apparently. Oh, yeah—vampires exist, how could I have forgotten? Aside from Embry telling me more about the pack and werewolves and vampires and the pack members' histories, there wasn't much to keep me occupied. He usually went out on day shifts, now, and he'd come back at night to eat and crash on the sofa. It made me feel bad that he was out there working so long. Seth had much of the same things to do, though he seemed to take it a bit easier than Embry—or, at least, I _think_ he had the same things to do. Cali and I, being without our wolves, usually practiced astral projection. Cali still wasn't able to keep herself visible, let alone solid, but she was getting somewhere.

Then, one day, something happened that made me feel a bit smug yet angry. Embry came in the afternoon to tell Sam and Emily something. I was happy to be able to see Embry again—whether it was the imprint or not, he was my favorite person, and I hadn't seen him often because of all the patrols he had to do. However, when he arrived, he went straight to the kitchen where Sam and Emily were. I only knew he was here because of his voice—that, and I could just _sense_ it was him. I went to the kitchen after a few minutes, feeling a bit left out. Why didn't he come see me? Was it something to do with patrols? Even though it was probable that it had to do with patrols, I still needed reassurance—as if I had to check if it was a suitable excuse for not greeting me.

"Embry?" I asked, opening the door to the kitchen slightly. He, Sam, and Emily looked up at me at my entrance. I offered Embry a tentative smile, which he reciprocated. It was weird, but I'd gotten used to their—the pack's—half-nakedness. "What's going on?"

"Uh… The usual," he replied. I frowned.

"Um…okay…" I backed away from the doorway and left, heading to my room. _Why didn't he say hi? Why didn't he greet me with a big smile and a hug? _I felt panicky. Yet, a part of me wanted to slap myself—_You're being stupid, this little action means nothing; Embry still cares; he imprinted on you, after all; he's not just going to toss you aside; you aren't drifting apart…_ The arguments, sensible, were there. My psyche didn't listen, though. Sometimes I really hated this imprinting thing, though I'd never admit it to Embry. He was my best friend, yes, and I'm grateful that imprinting brought him to me, but the emotions that it made you feel—all extreme, usually for little things, too—were just very draining and very damaging.

"Jani?" Embry asked from the doorway of my room. I lied in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He came in, closing the door behind him.

"Yes, Embry?" I pulled myself up and sat back against the headboard of the bed, crossing my legs. He sat down in front of me on the bed.

"What's wrong?" he asked concernedly, taking my hand.

"I should be asking you that," I said.

"What?"

"You know 'what.'" Embry frowned.

"No, I don't." I sighed exasperatedly. Deciding to omit the part about where he didn't come say hi to me, I asked a different question, one that was less embarrassing.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"With what?"

"What happened that you had to come tell Sam right away?"

"Oh, that," he said. Then his lips pulled up into an amused half-smile. "I was actually going to come tell you—I know you'll find it funny, at least one part of it. Jake's torn up about it, though."

"Jake? What happened to Jake? Did Bella finally ditch him like we all knew she would?"

"No," said Embry. "Not exactly."

"Oh, please tell me it's 'I-told-you-so'-worthy!" Embry smiled slightly.

"You're not gonna rub it in Jake's face, are you?" I faked an appalled gasp.

"Of course not! I thought you knew me!" I pouted. Then I smiled again. "No, I'm not, which is the point. He'll be expecting me to."

"Smart," Embry complimented.

"So, the story?"

"Right, well, it seems Jacob and Bella got into a little…disagreement, so to speak…"

"What kind? About her bloodsucker boyfriend?" Embry chuckled.

"No, not about the leech." Embry paused, gazing at me thoughtfully. "He—er—did something that she didn't agree with."

"What'd he do? Call her boyfriend to tell him she's been naughty?"

"No." He sounded amused.

"What'd he do?"

"Jake kissed her." There was a pause.

"Like…on the lips?" Embry nodded. "How many times?"

"From what I saw of his memories, about four." My eyes widened and my mouth opened, astonished.

"What—the—heck!" I exclaimed. "And he has the nerve to argue with me when I say she's leading him on!"

"Well, he's a werewolf… It's not like she could get out of his grasp…" Embry trailed off. "Plus, he really thought she liked him back—"

"That's what leading him on is," I pointed out. "Believe me, were that me, I'd've slapped him and fought my way away, friend or not!"

"If that was you, he'd be dead," Embry said lowly, looking utterly disgusted at the thought. I frowned.

"Sorry, forgot," I muttered. "But that's not the point. She probably didn't even slap him! Not that I think it would've done much good—he _is_ a werewolf…"

"She didn't slap him, no," said Embry. "But she did punch him." My eyes widened again, and I felt the grin on my face.

"Oh, really? Is there any chance I could get that on video?" Embry rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face.

"Jake feels terrible." I frowned slightly.

"Well, he should've—" I sighed. "So she punched him?"

"Yeah. She broke her hand." I winced and clutched my right hand. Embry chuckled.

"Not funny! You know how much that would hurt?" I protested. Embry took my hands and brushed his lips lightly over the back of them and over the knuckles of each hand. I blushed lightly. "What was that for?"

Embry smiled. "Just because." I rolled my eyes, trying to play off the blush creeping up my neck.

"You're so weird." Embry just laughed. "You know, I don't think I can remember a moment when you're not smiling."

"That's because you make me happy," he stated, as if it were just that simple. I rolled my eyes, though, internally, I was melting.

"That's so cheesy," I told him.

"Maybe."

* * *

**Alright, I want to thank some people for wonderfully, kindly, beautifully reviewing and showing me they care. :')**

**Thank you to fantasywriter11, katie (who doesn't have a fanfiction account, but should, because FF is awesome:]), ValerieKathryn, and Danika-chan07! Thanks!**

**I like when people review, especially people with stories—I tend to go see their profiles and check out their stories, and in turn review them. Chain of events here, people!**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter—please review!**

**HunnyABee  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Guidance**

**Chapter Six

* * *

**_By the way, I kept meaning to do this—**Janiya **can be pronounced Juh-_nee_-uh or Juh-_nee_-yuh; it's just a name I made up and have come to like. I always think of **Jani **as sounding like Janny, or _Jah_-nee._

**_Calindra _**_would be Cuh-_lihn_-druh or Cah-_lihn_-druh, depending on your own dialect. would be like Cally,_ Cah_-lee_.

_OR you could pronounce them any way you see fit. I don't mind._

* * *

Things were getting weird with Embry. I'll admit, I didn't pay the whole 'imprint' thing much mind—I mean, I didn't have a problem thinking it, or saying it, or joking around with it. But, in truth? I always avoided thinking about it too deeply. While I was able to do this for about a week since I learned about it, it was getting harder to do without avoiding Embry; both the topic and person. I never really gave it too much thought, afraid of what I'd conclude. That wasn't a very good idea on my part.

"So," Emily said one day we had the house to ourselves—Seth, on his rare breaks from patrolling, took Cali out to play or something.

"So," I mimicked as she sat next to me on the sofa, turning so that she faced me. I leaned back against the arm of the sofa, raising an inquisitive brow at her. "What's up, Emily?"

"What's going on with you and Embry?" she asked, a smile on her face. I frowned. She caught it. "What? Is something wrong?"

"No, no," I stated, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. "It's just…what do you mean, me and Embry?" Emily gave me a look of confusion.

"About—you know—the imprinting?" she clarified. I scowled. _This _subject again.

"What _about _it?" My tone was a bit harsher than intended. "Uh…sorry, Emily. What about it?" I asked, softer than before.

"Well…you're only a year apart, and some of the boys are wondering when you two will—"

"Stop, _right there_," I interrupted. "I can't—I _won't_ explain myself to teenage boys, because it'll go in one ear and out the other."

"Okay," said Emily, adjusting her posture. "So, tell _me_. What about you two? What's going on?" She looked like a kind, gentle motherly figure; one that was trustworthy. Yet, I've always had trouble with trust.

"Nothing's 'going on,'" I insisted. "Embry's just my friend, and that's it."

"And…you don't like him?"

"What kind of—"

"I meant, you don't like him as…_more_ than a friend?" I stared at her, wondering why she was questioning me. Why did she want to know, anyway? It's not like it was her business. But still, I sighed and ran a hand over my face, exasperated. I didn't want to answer that question, so I wisely chose to remain silent and stare back at her emptily. After a few moments in which Emily probably noticed I wasn't going to tell her, she inquired again. "Do you feel attracted to him at all?" At this, I almost lost my temper. Of course I did! I'm his imprint, aren't I? Doesn't that sort of _imply_ that we're supposed to be attracted to each other?

The thought made me gulp. _Was_ Embry attracted to me? Was I to him? I was hesitant to state my attraction to him, I'll admit, but even I wasn't naïve enough to believe there was _nothing_ there.

"I'm not going to answer," I said coldly. "All this does is bring up things I'd rather not talk about. What does any of it matter?" Emily's sad expression made me regret my tone, but I couldn't take it back now.

"But…Jani, don't you love him?"

That did it. I stood up angrily and headed to my room, leaving Emily in the living room. I closed the door quietly, then proceeded to crash on my bed and bury my face in my pillow, as if to suffocate myself. I let out a muffled yell of exasperation. I felt horrible, like something inside of me was aching, throbbing, hurting. I wanted to feel happy, to feel at peace and safe. There was only one thing that ever made me feel complete again and, unfortunately, he was out of reach.

Or was he?

I lied down on my bed, curling into a ball under the covers. I closed my eyes and focused on emptying myself of all emotion—it was impossible. It felt like the more I tried, the more I hurt myself. There was only one person I could think to turn to. I yearned to be there, wherever he was, because he knew how to make it all better, as horribly saccharine as that sounded to my inner cynic.

I felt my mind, my self, lifting away from the earthly confines of my body. Astral projection was dangerous, yes, but it never ceased to make me feel free. That is, until now. I felt, though I was lifted from the shackles my body placed on my soul, weighed down by all the sadness and confusion. I stared at my shell on the bed, the empty cask of a body, frowning. I closed my eyes sadly, thinking. I yearned to see Embry, to know if he was safe, to be near him. I felt the sharp rush—I was flying. When I opened my eyes, I was in the forest. I saw two wolves running below, like when I was with Cali weeks ago. Except one of these wolves was different—it was chocolate brown. The other wolf was the same one, the same gray-with-black-spots wolf. I smiled when I realized that was Embry. I followed them, above them, as they ran, noses in the air and on the ground as if searching for a scent, which they probably were.

It made me wonder. Did Cali know about their being werewolves, before the bonfire? Maybe. But I didn't really care at the moment. I smiled as I chased after Embry through the air. I vaguely, perhaps sickeningly, wondered how he would react if I suddenly appeared in front of him. It was better not to try, though, until he was done patrolling, or he might be distracted.

Even as he patrolled, I treaded after him, keeping up very well. I hadn't made myself visible to him once, though I had definitely wanted to. When Embry went to the edge of the forest and paused, I looked around for the other wolf. Where did he go? But when I got back to Embry, I saw he was human again, wearing only cutoffs. I grinned—though I mentally flushed at what would've happened if I stayed a bit more, if I'd seen him phase back to human. When Embry walked to the edge of the forest, I decided to mess with him. I perched on a tree branch nearby and, focusing, made myself visible.

"Embry!" I called. He gave a start and immediately turned to look for me. When his eyes landed on me, I grinned and waved. His eyes widened.

"What are you—"

"Astral projection, don't worry," I assured, jumping down from the high branch and landing on the ground without so much as a thud. I smiled up at him. Embry sighed.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack, you know, over fifty feet up in the air," he said. I smirked.

"That was the point," I told him. He groaned.

"You'll be the death of me, woman."

"I hope not," I teased. "So how was running around like? Who was that wolf that was with you?" Embry's eyes widened for a moment.

"You were there?" I rolled my eyes.

"I thought we'd established that already, come on, Embry. I just didn't want to distract you, so I was still…ghostlike, I guess." Embry stared at me for a moment. "What?" He shook his head.

"Can I—are you solid?"

"I…_should_ be, if I'm doing this right," I stated. I reached out a hand towards his cheek, placing it against the side of his face. He closed his eyes automatically. "Feel that?"

Embry's eyes flew open, and he gazed at me again. He took my hand from his cheek and held it in his, looking at our hands in wonder. "Where are you now?" he asked.

"My bedroom." He intertwined our fingers and gave my hand a light squeeze.

"Can you feel that?"

I smiled. "Vaguely." Embry grinned and placed a lingering kiss on my forehead.

"And that?"

"Yep," I answered brightly. "So, you gonna come visit me now that patrols are done, or what?" Embry's grin broadened.

"I'm running there. Will you be waiting for me on your porch?" My heart fluttered and I nodded dumbly. He placed another kiss on my forehead. "Then I'll see you there."

"See you," I whispered. I rushed to the house, to my body. When I was in front of my unconscious body, I felt myself snap back to place. I jolted from the bed with a shock, then rushed out of my room and through the living room, out the door. I sat on the porch, waiting for Embry. I curled my fingers, closing my hands into a fist. I still felt the light pressure on my hand, more so now than before. The door opened and I saw Emily stick her head out, glancing at me curiously.

"What are you doing?" she asked. I hesitated.

"Waiting for Embry," I answered with a grin. Emily pressed her lips together, raising an eyebrow at me. I laughed. "What?" She shook her head.

"Nothing," said Emily with a tiny smile. "Where are you going?"

"With Embry?" I asked. She nodded. "I wasn't aware we'd be going anywhere. But that is a good idea—I'm getting antsy being inside all the time." I wrinkled my nose as she laughed. "So anywhere, really. I'll be safe, don't worry."

"Oh, I have no doubts." Emily grinned, then looked up at something behind me. I followed her gaze, beaming when I saw Embry jogging up to the house. I jumped up off the porch and waved back at her.

"See you, Emily," I called back. Embry smiled, immediately enveloping me in a hug.

"Ah… _This_ is the real you… You're warm," I heard him say. I pulled away, raising an eyebrow at him.

"What are you trying to say? I'm cold as a spirit?"

"No, no!" he said quickly, with a laugh. "I mean, you're…er…ghostly, almost… But you're warmer like this, so I know it's the real you. And you have a heartbeat and scent." He rubbed the back of his neck. "It's kind of hard to explain."

"I know," I said. "So where are we going?"

"Going?"

"Emily said it. And I now noticed I just _have_ to get away," I explained. "So let's go somewhere."

"Where would you like to go?" Embry asked pleasantly, taking my hand. I shrugged.

"Anywhere." Embry smiled and we walked, like so many days (maybe weeks) ago, to the beach. I rolled my eyes with a grin, allowing Embry to pull me along to who knows where.

* * *

"So _what_ are you doing tonight, again?" I asked again. We were in the cove, under the cliffs, where he took me the last time I had a sudden need to leave the house. I was sitting by one of the pools, swirling my hand in the water. Embry sat next to me, dangling his legs in the water.

"I told you, Jake just needs backup," he replied, sighing. "It's no big deal." I frowned.

"I know, I know."

"But that doesn't change how you feel about it, does it?" Embry asked wryly. I nodded curtly.

"Oh, come on, _please?_ Can I go?" Embry frowned.

"Why do you even want to go?" I looked at him flatly.

"Embry, it's a party," I deadpanned. "I haven't been to one in a long time."

"You've been to bonfires," he argued.

"I've been to one," I pointed out. "Besides, I won't get in your way! I promise!"

"Jani, I can't—"

"_Yes_, you _can._"

"Jani—"

"Please? Besides, I don't like the idea of you going to a party without me, even if it's just as backup for Jake," I told him. Embry glanced at me for a moment, then looked back at the water. I didn't take my eyes off him.

If I was being truthful—to myself, not aloud to Embry—I could care less about the actual party. What I didn't want—though I knew it was an irrational fear on my part—was _any _girl_ flirting_ with _him._ Sure, I wasn't his girlfriend—I wasn't even sure if I had feelings for him like that—but I was his imprint, and I'd be damned if I sat at home while Embry went to a party, even if it was just to back up Jacob while he went begging for Bella's affections.

"Jani," Embry said, "I can't. Besides, I don't want you going to a house full of bloodsuckers—"

"There'll be more humans there than them!" I protested. Embry frowned.

"Jani—"

"Embry, if you don't let me go, I'll end up going one way or another," I told him, crossing my arms. "Remember? Astral projection? I can basically go anywhere and never leave my room." I placed my hands, one on top of the other, on his shoulder, then rested my chin on top of my hands so I was staring him in the eye as he turned his head to look at me. "I just want you to know that I'll be going, and I want you to be okay with it. I want you to tell me you're okay with me going, because I don't want you to be upset, Em."

His eyes were wide and gazing into mine, only a few inches away. Normally, I would've blushed, but I was determined not to break. Embry's eyes were…they were beautiful, like him. They were a deep brown, cool brown—a light brown. They were concerned, they were loving. I could get lost in those eyes, and had to snap myself out of it a few times before Embry sighed.

"I have to ask Jake," he said.

I couldn't help but smile at my triumph. Embry saw this and his mouth twitched in amusement, like he wanted to smile at my antics. He chuckled and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into his side. I wrapped an arm around his waist—his _muscled_, _naked_ waist, I had trouble forgetting—and leaned into him. Staring down into the water of the tide pool, I began humming under my breath. And, as usual, the humming turned into quiet singing.

"_When I was younger I saw my daddy cry, and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it. And my momma swore she would never let herself forget. And that was the day I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist. But, darling, you_—_are_—_the_ _only exception_," I sang quietly.

I smiled softly, closing my eyes and leaning into Embry more. I felt oddly at peace. It didn't even register that I'd just sung in front of Embry, and especially a potentially embarrassing song. It was like it was in the back of my mind, without a care. Embry wrapped his arm more securely around me, and I melted into his warmth. I felt him tracing little circles on my side through the fabric. Everything was hazy, like I was drifting off to sleep. Embry often made me feel that way—safe, happy, and on cloud nine. I suppose it was the imprint, but it was a good part of it, one I could live with. I felt happy.

But, then, did Embry? The thought hit me soon after. I felt a little guilty and selfish—Embry's feelings should have mattered overall. Was he as happy and safe as I was? I guess I assumed that he was, because of the imprint, but I shouldn't have. The thought unsettled me more than I liked to admit.

I opened my eyes and tilted my head very slightly, looking up at Embry. His eyes were closed, and he had an overall peaceful expression as he continued to trace circles in my side through the fabric. Was he happy? I couldn't tell. I timidly raised my hand, placing it shyly on the side of his face, then brushed his cheek with my fingertips. Embry's hand stopped. I traced his nose, his lips, and brushed over his eyes lightly with my fingertips, holding my breath the entire time. His lips parted slightly and I felt his muscles relax around me. I paused, resting my closed hand on the side of his face.

"Embry?" I asked, my voice quiet and meek. His eyes opened, and he looked down at me. I felt an odd rush of feelings—none of which I understood, several of which I feared, few of which I welcomed wholeheartedly. "Embry…are you…happy?" When the words left my mouth, I felt stupid. I certainly could have phrased that better.

But Embry didn't seem to notice, or didn't care. He just smiled that charming smile at me and kissed my temple. I was distracted for a moment but not enough to miss his words.

"Why do you ask?" Embry still held me, speaking those words against my temple.

"I'm just…wondering," I said lamely. I frowned slightly. "But are you? Happy, I mean."

Embry pulled away and shifted me so he could look at me. "Why?" I felt heated under his gaze. Embry, with a soft smile, hugged me to his chest, resting his forehead on mine. I wanted to murder my heart—it was betraying me in the worst of ways, but at least I wasn't blushing. Embry's eyes bored into mine—and they were smiling.

"Are…you…happy?" I asked quietly. Embry chuckled, and I felt blood rush to my face. He smiled at me, and I was again reminded that that irresistible smile was only centimeters away.

"I'm happy, Jani," he assured me. "All a wolf wants is to be with his imprint… Like Seth's hanging out with Cali now… or Quil usually baby-sits Claire… It's all because we just want—we _need_—to be with our imprints…" Embry gazed at me, as if I was the best thing since sliced bread.

I noticed, with a bitter sense of irony, that Embry only mentioned imprints who were still in platonic relationships with their wolves… It made me wonder. Did Embry want to be more? Or did he just want to be my friend? What would be better for us? And if we weren't going to be dating anytime soon, when would we? And that brought an onslaught of even more questions.

"You look like you're thinking," Embry noted, bringing me out of my reverie.

"Hmm?" I blinked. Embry was still so close…yet so unattainable.

He grinned. "What were you thinking about?" My eyes widened slightly and I felt heat creep up my neck.

"Er…imprints," I muttered vaguely. Embry gave me an inquisitive look.

"What about imprints?" he asked mischievously, with a smirk that made my heart speed back up. It was hard to look anywhere but at his eyes.

"Mm…nothing." I decided I was treading on very dangerous ground at the moment—or at least, very embarrassing. A change of subject was in order. "Mm…I want chocolate." I beamed, though I mentally slapped myself for the show of immaturity and stupidity. But Embry just chuckled and grinned amusedly.

"Trying to change the subject, huh?" I pressed my lips together in a thin line. His grin broadened. "Alright, alright. Let's get you some chocolate." Embry moved away—giving me room to breathe—kissed my temple, and helped me get up. He didn't let go of my hand once I did.

"Goody," I sang. "Where to?"

"How would you like to go to Port Angeles?"

* * *

"Embry, _slow down!_"

Embry's laughter rang loud and clear, but was almost lost in the wind. How Embry had convinced Jacob to lend him his motorcycle, I don't know. We were speeding along an empty highway, heading to Port Angeles. I think he just wanted to show off. Either way, the rush of air was incredible—the adrenaline was pumping through me, and I laughed along with him. I don't think it was actually that fast—at least, not as fast as this motorcycle could go—but it was still pretty fast. I held on tightly to Embry, my arms around his waist—he was now wearing a t-shirt, thankfully—and rested my cheek on his back. It was only the early afternoon, and we had plenty of time to spend. The drive took maybe an hour and a half, but it felt like no time at all. The wind whipped my hair out behind me and stung my cheeks, but Embry's body temperature kept me warm. I was a little disappointed when we finally arrived in Port Angeles, where he parked the bike somewhere and we began walking into downtown.

"So, where would you like to go eat?" Embry asked as he took my hand. We were walking down streets and shopping districts—it wasn't anything too major, as Port Angeles was, but it was bigger than Forks and had more people and shops.

"What do you mean?" I looked around at the different shops as we passed them, never having been in Port Angeles myself.

"We're having a late lunch," he informed me.

"Where?"

"That depends on what you want to eat." I rolled my eyes.

"You don't have to—"

"I'm going to," interrupted Embry, looking at me in a such a way that I couldn't refuse.

"Anything's fine with me," I said. Embry smiled softly and kissed my temple.

"Good. Come on."

We walked past a few more stores, Embry pointing out a few things along the way before we reached a restaurant Embry dragged me into, though I didn't see it until I was inside; I probably would have passed it entirely. I wouldn't really call it a restaurant—I was used to upscale, classy restaurants, truthfully—but it was cute and quaint and homey. It was called 'First Street Haven' and had a warm atmosphere about it—like a coffee shop. At least, it reminded me of one. When we entered and took a seat, and a waiter came almost immediately.

"Welcome to First Street Haven, here are your menus. I'll be right back," the brunette male said with a wink, then went to distribute menus to a couple other tables. Embry grimaced—I saw this from across him—and his jaw tightened. Maybe the waiter was winking at just me, or maybe Embry was just compulsively jealous. I rolled my eyes and reached over to his hand, resting on the table.

"Relax, Em," I said. Embry looked up at me and smiled. I made to move my hand back, but Embry quickly took it in his, intertwining our fingers.

Alright then.

I opened the menu with my free hand and looked through the choices just as the waiter returned.

"What can I get you to drink?" he asked congenially.

"Um… Coca-Cola for me," I answered shyly, looking towards Embry. The waiter nodded and looked towards Embry as well. "What about you, Em?"

"I'll have the same," he told the waiter shortly.

"Alright, I'll be right back with your drinks," the waiter informed us, still grinning as if Embry wasn't staring coldly at him, and left.

"Embry!" I hissed.

"What?" he asked, confused. I closed my eyes in frustration.

"Make it any more obvious, why don't you?" I sighed and stared at him expectantly. "I don't know if you know this, but if looks could kill, that poor waiter would be dead!"

Embry huffed. I rested my forehead in the palm of my free hand, frowning. I felt Embry take that hand softly in his, and I looked up at him. He sent me an apologetic smile, and I rolled my eyes. Meanwhile, the waiter returned with our drinks, placing them on the table by our entwined hands.

"Alright, here's your drinks," the waiter said. "Are you ready to order?" I glanced down at the menu quickly.

"Er… I'll have the grilled chicken sandwich," I answered.

"Make that three," said Embry, never once looking away from me.

"Okay, then, I'll be back," the waiter said, writing down the order and heading off to another table, as if ordering an extra sandwich was usual around here, which it probably was. Embry gazed at me wordlessly. It was becoming a bit unnerving.

"I don't even see why you're so jealous," I mumbled, taking one of my hands away from him and grabbing my soda, bringing it up to my lips to take a sip.

"Not jealous," Embry grumbled, frowning at the table, and went to take a sip of his own drink. I snorted at his answer.

"Right." Another sip. "Okay, not jealous, then. Possessive, maybe?"

"Territorial."

I smiled. "That too." I scoffed lightly in amusement. Embry quirked a brow at me, a smile playing on his lips.

"What's so funny?"

"You are," I responded, taking his hand across the table again. "Though I don't think it's the kind of funny you'd like to be."

"Oh, yeah? The what's the kind of funny you think I want to be?" he challenged, grinning.

"You want to be the purposefully funny, the kind of funny that attracts the ladies," I said dramatically, not really knowing if it was true or not. I guess I was fishing. "You don't want to be slapstick-funny, and not exactly stand-up-funny."

"Nah," Embry disagreed. "Not so much attracting 'the ladies' as much as entertaining _my_ lady." A strange, bubbly feeling stirred in the pit of my stomach. I furrowed my brows, giving him a look that clearly asked, _oh?_

"Really? Who's this lady-friend of yours? What's she like?" I asked, half jokingly. Embry's grin widened.

"She's the best," he said immediately. "She's my everything, and she's unique." I felt blood rush to my cheeks and I pressed my lips together. "_And_…she's sitting in front of me."

"Hmm…" I looked up to the ceiling quizzically. "What does one say to that?" Embry's grin, if it was possible, broadened even more at my speechlessness and attempt to play it off.

"Here are your orders," the brown-haired waiter from before said as he carried a large serving tray over to our table. He set down the three sandwiches—which were fairly big—and offered a congenial smile. "Is there anything else I can get you?"

"No, thanks," Embry answered before I could. The waiter nodded and placed a slip of paper on the table before leaving. I rolled my eyes and picked up my chicken sandwich, taking a small bite. Embry was already starting on his and was almost halfway through. How he and the pack eat so much so quickly, I don't think I'll _ever_ understand. I felt a bit self-conscious eating my sandwich—even though there was absolutely no reason to feel that way. Oh, well. I ate most of it, but left the last quarter. Embry, already done with his two sandwiches, finished off mine, making a big production out of it.

"Sometimes I wonder what happens to all the food that enters your mouth…" I mumbled. Embry laughed. I picked up the little slip of paper, the receipt, but before I could look at it, it was out of my hands. "Hey!"

"Nope, sorry, _I'm_ paying," said Embry. I frowned at him, but otherwise had no qualms.

After we left the shop, Embry taking my hand again, we walked around the stores nearby. It was getting to be around six when Embry grimaced and decided we had to get back to La Push. The hour-and-a-half ride back wasn't bad. It was like the ride to Port Angeles, except without the nervous and excited feeling of seeing somewhere new for the first time. Going to La Push was a homey feeling, which made me smile as I wrapped my arms tighter around Embry while we sped down the highway.

* * *

**Sorry for the shortness of this one! The next one will be normally long again, though. It's just that I didn't want to break a scene up in half or in some other awkward place when it really shouldn't be. You'll see! If you're keeping up with _Eclipse_, because we _are_ in _Eclipse_ here, then you can guess what comes next... :)**

**I'll see if I can find a picture of some actress or something that reminds me, somewhat, of Jani. For Embry, I think of Kiowa Gordon In fact, the wolves are pretty much the same as in the movie (I'll, again, try to look for Collin and Brady models).  
**

**Please review! And MAJOR thanks to Danika-chan07, popcrone818, Ever-Starr, runs .with .wolves, and rugdg13 for their reviews! :)**

**HunnyABee**

**PS: If you like this story, go check out my oneshots for _Twilight_! One is a sweet one with Edward and Bella, and the other is an EmbryOC (not this one, though). :)  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Guidance**

**Chapter Seven

* * *

**_Happy Thanksgiving! {If you don't celebrate it, then it'll just be a good day for ya;)_

* * *

When we got back to Emily's house, it was around a quarter past seven. I saw Jacob and Quil lounging around on the patio when we got there, and, immediately, Jake rushed straight to his motorcycle when we got off. He was inspecting it thoroughly.

"Man, is he in love with that thing or what?" I muttered. Jake turned and sent me a playful glare. I stuck my tongue out at him. "He really doesn't trust us."

"Hey, you're lucky I let Embry borrow it at all," Jacob refuted. Then he straightened up. "Come on, we were waiting for you to go." Embry's eyes flickered to me.

"Can I go?" I asked bluntly. Jake frowned.

"No," he said curtly. "There's gonna be—"

"—vampires," I finished. "I know. But there'll be more humans there than vampires. Please? I just want to go to a, you know, party…" Jake stared at me intensely, as if looking through my lie. I saw a flicker of compassion in his eyes—maybe he _did_ know why I wanted to come. He sighed.

"Fine, but any sign of trouble, and you go," he answered. I grinned.

"Thanks, Jakey-poo," I chirped saccharinely. Jacob and Quil rolled their eyes, while Embry reflexively took my hand, not that I minded. I ignored Jake and Quil's inquisitive and almost knowing looks and proceeded to question them about our method of transportation to the party. "So how are we getting there?"

"We'll phase, of course," Quil answered. He glanced at Embry for a moment. "You'll have to ride on Embry's back…"

"I can always carry her, you know, as a human," Embry offered, looking a bit put out. "It'd be too dangerous as a wolf—"

"Do we need a saddle, then?" I teased. Jake and Quil chuckled, but Embry pouted. I smiled happily, and soon he smiled—just the slightest—too.

"Okay, fine," Embry relented. "But you have to hold on tight." I grinned and saluted him.

"Yes, sir." He rolled his eyes.

"Right, well, we're gonna go phase now," Quil butted in, waving. He ran towards the forest, trailing after Jake. Embry reluctantly dropped my hand and headed for the forest, too. After a few minutes of me standing there awkwardly, I heard the soft, barely audible rustling of leaves as Embry the Wolf prodded forward. I rushed towards him happily, immediately burying my hands in his fur and kissing his snout. Why was I so much braver with him when he was an animal?

"Hey, Em," I greeted cheerfully. I noticed, at that moment, that his tail was wagging furiously. I laughed and hugged him around the neck. He was such a big wolf, probably bigger than normal ones. Heck, I'm pretty sure the pack was bigger, physically, than any other natural wolf pack.

Embry the Wolf abruptly licked my face. I shrieked and wiped my face, yelling about how gross that was and how wolves aren't made to give puppy kisses. Embry let out a bark that I assumed was a laugh, then nudged my stomach. He bent down, lowering himself to the ground. I vaguely remembered that he had to go somewhere—_we_ had to go somewhere—and that this wasn't a joyride. I sighed and hopped on as carefully as I could, feeling a bit self-conscious. Once I was securely on his back, I knotted my hands in his fur and wrapped my arms around his neck. Embry-wolf got up and began pacing, heading into the woods. I couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation grow in my gut. It was getting later and darker, and heading into the forest riding a wolf—well, it just sounded like some messed up fairytale. Though I'm sure it had its charms.

After a while, I could tell Embry wasn't going as fast as he could. He was worried about hurting me, or my falling off during the run. I scoffed and pulled on his fur, leaning down even more to whisper in his ear.

"Embry, you're a slowpoke," I deadpanned. "Run faster! Come on, don't be a worrywart. I'll be fine. The worst that can happen is my hair getting messed up." The wolf snorted, but sped up just a bit. I rolled my eyes and, getting an idea, dug my heels into his sides a bit. "Speed it up, Em. A turtle could beat you at this point— _Paul_ could beat—"

I laughed as Embry immediately began speeding through the forest, springing forward at the mention of the hotheaded werewolf. I held onto him tighter, trying my best not to fall off—after all, I can't have Embry be proven right; that would be a blow to my pride. Not to mention that the fall would likely hurt, of course. The air rushing at my face and around us as Embry ran was cold and made me feel alert. It was dark, very dark—when did the sun go away? I felt a bit nervous at the thought that we were in a forest at night when obscurity was at its peak, but Embry, Quil, and Jacob were here. I was safe. And I was relieved when we broke out of the woods and near a road that was decorated—or should I say mutilated?—by possibly millions of party lights. There was a big white house in the throng of twinkling lights, where I assumed we were headed. Embry bent down slightly. I hopped off and watched as he headed back into the forest to change. Quil and Jacob were already out and staring at the house so intensely that I was surprised it didn't spontaneously combust. They looked so serious, almost dangerous in a way.

I almost jumped when I felt an arm thrown over my shoulders. I exhaled in relief that it was only Embry, who now gave me a confused look as I tried to slow down the beating of my frantic, scared, and abused heart.

"You okay?" Jake asked absently. I nodded quickly.

"Just—just a little startled for a moment," I answered. Embry pulled me into his side—I unconsciously leaned into him, calming down for the moment. I breathed in deeply, then exhaled heavily. "Right… Are you just gonna stand around outside like some stalkers or are we going in?"

Quil walked by, ruffling my hair and sending a cheeky smile towards me before he and Jake stalked up to the house. Embry followed right behind, dragging me with him. Actually, it was more like _guiding_ me. Embry wouldn't drag his precious imprint, after all. The thought made me internally snort. When we were at the door, I could hear the music coming from inside and felt the beats reverberate through my chest. Jake rang the doorbell, though I was slightly doubtful that anyone, even if they were vampires, would hear it. After what seemed like half an hour to Jake—by the way he was frowning at the door and clenching and unclenching his fists—though was only a few minutes, he rang the doorbell again. And again—though, this time, he held the button down impatiently. I sighed.

"Oh, would you just—!" I saw him heading for the doorbell again, so, instead, I did the smart thing that they should have tried before—I opened the door. The boisterous sounds of teenagers partying reached my ears, immediately. For a moment, I was paused, taking in the foreign sensation and trying to get used to the initial discomfort. It was weird—I'd never been to a party, especially not one of this scale. I shook my head and walked forward, looking around. The guys entered, as well, and I saw Bella heading for the stairs. Apparently, Jake saw her, too.

"Hey, Bella!" he called, grinning. Immediately, she snapped her head over in our direction. Jake waved at her. I looked at Embry and Quil. Quil's eyes were darting around, looking for anything suspicious—he seemed very tense and anxious. Embry had one hand on the door and the other in mine—which I hadn't noticed prior to this observation. He looked tense, too. Jacob was the only one who wasn't tense and rigid, though all three of them had their noses wrinkled like they'd smelled something rotten or repugnant.

Bella waved back at Jake, then turned and squeezed through the crowd. I felt a surge of annoyance at her—_That's extremely rude, Miss Swan!_ I chided in my mind. I sighed, rolling my eyes. I had very little against Bella, but the fact that she was going to break Jake's heart—without a doubt—didn't allow me to accept her or like her. Still, she must have been kind and sweet underneath it all. Maybe she was just a victim of circumstance. Whatever the case, it was still going to hurt us all in the long run. For that, I wasn't sure if I could ever forgive her.

Right after Bella disappeared into the crowd, Jake took off after her. Quil, with a nod to Embry, tailed them, standing a bit away, keeping an eye on them. That left me with Embry. What to do, what to do? I faced him when I felt his eyes on me. I gave him a hug, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist and placing my cheek on his chest—which reminded me, why didn't any of those three boys bring shirts? But, oh, well, it was too late to do anything about that. Embry wrapped his arms around me in response to my hug, which I'd like to think caught him off guard.

"You know," I said, looking up at him, "you're either a very slow wolf, or a very big worrywart." Embry chuckled.

"I can't help but worry," he responded. I would've thought I would have trouble hearing him over the music, but his words were clear as day. Maybe my ears were just attuned to the sound of his voice. I smiled.

"You worry too much," I said mischievously.

"Maybe you should worry more," he combated, smirking. I gave an indignant huff.

"You worry enough for the both of us." He didn't reply to that. I looked around at the partying teens. Some of them would glance at us every now and then, and I smirked when I saw some girls glaring at me jealously. At least this would keep them away, for now—and it wasn't planned, either. I felt a smug satisfaction bubble up in me, and my hold on Embry tightened subconsciously. Almost out of nowhere, I heard Embry chuckle.

"Look who's worrying now," he whispered in my ear, his breath warm. This took me off guard, and I almost shivered—I'm felt my face and neck heat up. "You don't have to, you know—I can't even really see their faces. You're all I see."

_You're all I see._

I felt like something inside me snapped—like it'd dissolved, disintegrated, almost too quickly to register. That moment in time seemed to slow down. All I could register, which came slowly and piece by piece, was the loud thudding of my quickening heartbeat in the back of my head, the millions of fuzzy creatures let loose in my stomach, the feeling of lighter-than-air euphoria—

And then I remembered where I was, and it all went crashing back down to reality. All the details rushed at me; the loud dance music of the party, the noise of the party-goers, the fact that Embry held me tightly to him, the feel of his face buried in my neck. Only then did I notice my breathing was shallow and that I had tensed up. I let out a shaky breath and tried to relax, loosening my hold on him for a second before hugging him more tightly.

"Em—"

I was cut off by Quil, who spared me an apologetic glance as he turned to Embry. "Em, come on." I felt Embry's sigh near my ear as he pulled away from me reluctantly, not even looking at me as he followed Quil to wherever. I stood there for a few moments, feeling meek and two inches tall. Why didn't he even turn to look at me when he was walking away? I was wracking my brain for any things I did and how they could have been interpreted by him. Maybe I did something bad—no, scratch that; I needed to figure what I did.

Without noticing, I was walking in the direction they'd gone, turning my head this way and that for a glimpse of Embry. When I heard three booming laughs from nearby that were nearly drowned out by the loud music, I instinctively headed there. I saw, of course, Jake, Embry, and Quil, the source of the laughs—why did Embry laugh? Was he over whatever it was already? I grimaced.

The three werewolves were standing in front of—_cornering_, it looked like—Bella, and there were two others who were incredibly pale; one a blond male and the other a short, dark-haired pixie-girl. Were _these_ the vampires? There couldn't be only two. I stood a ways away, so I couldn't exactly make out what they were saying, but I saw the pixie-girl say something, then Jacob and Quil interject. I could hear, however, Bella's shout of _No!_

That left me confused. But the pixie-girl continued. After the blond guy said something, Embry, Quil, and Jacob all pulled truculent faces. Some more words were said, and the boys rolled their eyes. I saw them turn to leave after even _more_ words—still all going unheard by an irritated me—were said, and Bella called out to Jacob. Quil and Embry continued, though, so I rushed away and through some of the dancing crowd, pushing to get to the front door, where I was sure they were headed. As soon as I managed to drag myself through and out of the crowd, Embry caught my eye and raised an eyebrow at me. I gulped. He didn't look happy. I shook my head and rushed up to meet him and Quil and Jacob as they left the mansion, looking half-pleased and half-disgusted.

"What's going on?" I asked, hurrying to keep up with their pace.

"Nothing," Embry answered quickly. I shot him a glare and grabbed a hold of Quil and Jacob's arms, not like it affected them much. But they noticed and stopped once we were inside the woods, albeit somewhat reluctantly.

"What's happened?" I rephrased, asking them directly. I saw their eyes flicker towards Embry over my shoulder, and I clenched my jaw, knowing they weren't going to answer. I let my hands drop. "Fine."

For some reason, I felt a surge of annoyance at Embry and, with that, a pang of anger and frustration that should've been directed at myself but was confused as to where to go.

"What?" I snapped, scowling. Embry winced—the flicker of hurt in his eyes made a feeling of guilt quickly surge through me. He placed his hands on my shoulders softly, looking me in the eyes.

"It's nothing," he insisted softly. "Don't worry about it." My frown twitched. "It's no big deal—it has nothing to do with you—"

"But it has to do with _her_, then," I retorted, staring him down where he leaned back against a tree. "And so it obviously has to do with Jake, which means it'll tie back to the pack, which means you're involved, and that makes me involved by default."

Embry sighed, pulling me into his chest and burying his face in my shoulder. I wondered if it was uncomfortable, bending down like that for so long; I was definitely tall, but he was definitely taller. I pressed my lips together and reached up to wrap my arms around his shoulders, stroking his short, silky hair. He brought his head up just a bit; the tip of his nose skimmed my collarbone and my neck. It gave me goose bumps, and I felt somehow aware of my rapid heartbeat.

"Please, _don't_ get involved," he mumbled against my neck. This action was distracting enough, so I almost didn't register what he said.

"Wait, what?"

"Don't…please…" he continued, as if he didn't hear me.

"Embry, what are you talking about?" I questioned, refusing to let myself become befuddled by his actions.

Embry raised his head and gazed into my eyes, his own full of anguish, before he leaned his forehead on mine and closed his eyes. I felt his every breath, slightly labored, and found it impossible to close my eyes. _So close…_ Embry was, as ever, gorgeous. His features, illuminated in the moonlight, made him look like something out of a dream. His hair was perfectly messy in its usual feathery, spiky tresses. His eyelashes were dark, the contours of his face and jaw were perfectly sculpted, and he looked like a god. He was beautiful, and I couldn't believe it. This sudden realization, this insight—it was like a flaming comet was flashing through a dark sky. Confused though I was, I knew what I was thinking and what I felt—but I was afraid to admit to it, even in my own thoughts. That would only make it too real.

"Embry?" I choked out. His eyelids slowly lifted, and he was staring into my eyes. With a disgruntled look, he moved away. The warmth left with him, and, without even realizing, I clung to him and buried my face in his neck. I felt Embry's slight pause—which I hoped was because of the surprise and not something else—and he wrapped his arms around me tenderly and protectively.

"There's going to be a war."

At first, I didn't register he'd said anything at all. But then, as I thought about it, my brain trying to make sense of the gibberish while I was still in a blind and blissful stupor in Embry's arms, I realized what it meant.

A war.

"What?" I blurted, pushing away from Embry's embrace to stare him in the eye. He winced, his arms reaching around me again to pull me back into his chest.

"Remember what we said about the Cullens and Bella Swan?" he asked. I nodded into his chest, my eyes closing as I listened to the rapid beat of his heart. "Well, some vampire has a grudge on her…that redheaded one we told you we were hunting, remember? And she's got an army."

"Wha—but—how—!" I spluttered, fidgeting frantically. "_What?_ You can't be serious! I mean—this is—I just—"

"I know," he said somberly, again pulling me into his arms and tucking my head under his chin, stroking my back softly. I exhaled and felt myself calm, my protests silenced. But I couldn't wrap my mind around it. He said it, though. That redheaded leech—he had told me the pack was hunting her, this vampire who didn't like Bella, albeit saying it reluctantly—had raised an army, and the reality of that just didn't reach me. I'd never seen her, and I hadn't witnessed firsthand what vampires could do. This all sounded like some faraway threat. I just couldn't believe it—yet, I did. But it didn't feel like it.

"Promise you'll be okay," I muttered quickly, worriedly against him, leaning up against him and wrapping my arms even tighter around his shoulders. "Promise you'll come back. Promise, promise!"

"I swear to you, we'll be fine—" He cut off, once again burying his face into my neck. "You're getting cold. It's late. We'll talk about this later." I frowned. Of course. The imprint—he _would_ be worried about my getting ill or some other thing. So what if it was late? He was my werewolf protector, and Emily wouldn't mind; Sam was another issue entirely, though I'm sure Emily could control him. As for the temperature, I was toasty warm in his arms.

"Embry—"

Before I could protest, he swung me up and carried me bridal style. I clung to his neck and glared at him shortly. Embry sent a halfhearted cheeky grin and I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry, love, but this is faster," he said softly, kissing my cheek, "and safer." And just like that, he was off, jogging through the woods so quickly I barely noticed our surroundings; I just looked at him. He was staring decidedly ahead, though once or twice I saw his head incline slightly towards me. I huffed and buried my head into his neck, making sure my lips were pressed to his collarbone in a way that didn't seem like it was on purpose—I could at least distract and torture him in this way; it wasn't fair what he was doing. Or, at least, I didn't want to go back home. Weird as it seemed, I didn't want to go back to my room; I wanted to stay in the forest, cuddled with Embry. I mentally gagged.

Once Emily's house—or my home, I guess—came into view, I tapped Embry's shoulder for him to let me down. Embry ignored it, smirking slightly, and proceeded to open the back door and enter. Only when we were inside did he set me down, somewhat reluctantly.

"Finally," I mumbled. Embry chuckled sheepishly.

"Embry? Jani?" we heard a voice from the living room that sounded a bit too much like Quil.

"Finally back?" came Jacob's teasing voice, accompanied by two laughs. I ran into the living room and looked around, tackling the first one I saw, which happened to be Jacob. He probably wasn't hurt at all—he picked me up in a hug and spun me around. "Wheee!" He sounded so stupid, I just had to laugh, and so did Quil and Seth, who was also there.

"Put me down, you idiot!" I whined, and no sooner than that was I almost forcibly ripped from his grasp. It didn't hurt me, but it was an abrupt motion, being yanked from Jacob's spinning grip to Embry's possessive one. It was silent for a moment and, although I couldn't see his face, I knew Embry was glaring at Jacob by how Quil, Seth, and Jacob stood and looked. I placed a hand on Embry's forearm and laid back against him, hoping that would calm him.

"Embry." His muscles relaxed slightly, but his hold on me was still possessive. I slid my hand down from his forearm and over his closed hand. He immediately took my hand and buried his face into the back of my neck. I closed my eyes instinctively.

"Sorry," he mumbled. I opened my eyes and patted his hand, then gently wove myself out of his arms. I yawned quietly, aware that the wolves were all watching me.

"Hey, Seth, were you here earlier today for Cali?" I asked. I couldn't remember seeing him earlier today. As soon as I mentioned my little sister, Seth's face split into a wide grin.

"Remember? I took her out to the beach today to play," said Seth. "She's been sleeping for a while now."

"So why are you still here? I mean, we all love you and all, but shouldn't you be home sleeping or patrolling or something?" Seth rolled his eyes.

"Cali asked me to stay and make sure you got back," he replied. I snorted. Figures. But that was sweet.

"Thanks, Seth, but you should probably go home and sleep," I told him, then looked around at the other three. "You guys, too."

"See ya," Quil said, grinning as he came over to give me a hug goodbye. He kissed my forehead and waved at Embry cheekily before leaving the house quickly. I smirked at Embry, who fumed silently. Jacob and Seth chuckled. Jake ruffled my hair, gave me a quick hug, and left just as Quil did. Seth bounded over and enveloped me in a big brotherly hug, spinning me around only twice. I rolled my eyes. He kissed my cheek and ran off, shooting a victorious look at Embry. I smiled. I couldn't believe—or, well, I could—their nerve.

But now things were awkward. Embry and I were alone. I stared at the floor in silence, so I couldn't see what he was doing or if he was even still here. I couldn't hear any change, just our breathing and the sound of my heart thudding loudly. Vaguely, abruptly, I wondered if Emily was sleeping by now, but figured she must have been.

"So…"

I looked up sharply at the sound of Embry's voice. He stood in front of me, looking anxious. I stared at him blankly. I bit my lip. Why was I so shy and timid around Embry? When I met him and the guys, I was normal, myself. But I was so confused by him. Who knows? Maybe this is me now. But I had to do something—I needed to do something daring or something bold.

Without thinking about it, I grabbed Embry's wrist and turned and headed for my room. I felt him following, but I didn't dare look back at him. I shut the door once we were in, letting Embry's arm drop. I didn't spare him a glance as I sat down on the edge of my bed, then leaned back and stared at the ceiling.

"So?" I asked. "What's up, Em?" I sat up after a moment, wanting to see him. Embry's eyes never left me. "About this war…"

"Jani," he groaned, grimacing as he gave in and plopped down on the edge of the bed next to me. "Please, _don't_ get involved. We'll handle it."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. He was sure quick to assume I'd want part of the action… And I couldn't even really _do_ anything—I was just a puny human. Of course, I'd want to be there in astral form, but that's another thing entirely…

"I _mean_, please _stay_ here during the battle, whenever it is," Embry asked of me, pulling me into his chest. I inhaled deeply for a moment, taking in the spicy, woodsy scent that was Embry.

"You mean I can't go there, not even projecting?"

"No."

"That's lame," I deadpanned. "I want to see you… I want to watch out for you guys, is that so bad?"

"I just need to know you're safe."

I sat up on my haunches, facing Embry, and grabbed his face in my hands, staring him down. "And I _will_ be." I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my chin on his shoulder, closing my eyes. The warmth…the smooth, toned skin…the musky scent…

I felt him stroking my hair, placing a kiss on the top of my head. I felt a burst of something fierce in my abdomen, near my stomach—I felt the sudden desire to kiss him, to hold him, to… It was getting harder and harder every day, trying to stay _just_ Embry's _friend_. His apparent issue with shirts did not help a bit, and neither did his sweet disposition, his cute smile, his complete adoration and love for me…

I pulled away from the embrace so I was less than arms' length away. Embry's eyes opened and immediately caught mine. I smiled softly and kissed him on the cheek, and he grinned goofily for a short moment before a different look overcame him. Before I knew it, he had leaned forward—and I guess I had, too—and pressed his lips to mine in a chaste kiss. Not a millisecond passed before I went back, kissing him this time around. I reached up to his face and to his black hair, my fingers very lightly gripping his locks, and he wrapped an arm around my waist, the other behind my back. He licked my lips, begging for entrance as his grip on my waist tightened.

And a howl sounded through the woods. In a second, it was as if a light had been turned on in a dark room—Embry and I froze for a millisecond before practically springing apart. My eyes flew open and I covered my lips with my hand. My breathing was heavy, and I couldn't bring myself to look at Embry. My heart was past racing—it was pounding so heavily and so fast that it hurt—I could feel the adrenaline pulsing through me, but I didn't dare move.

I spared a glance at Embry. He was looking at the floor—or something, I wasn't quite sure. His breathing was ragged—my hands subtly clenched at empty air, wanting to touch him, to go near him and his perfect abs. But it was too soon—I don't know what just happened, or why, or how or—I was so confused.

Embry stood up in one quick motion. Thinking he was going to move near me, or something, my heart lightened and sped up again. However, he instead left the room, taking my heart with him, breaking what little piece of it I had left.

I still didn't understand. It all happened so fast… I mean, Embry imprinted on me—that, I know—so I understand why he would kiss me…or why we would kiss…but why did he practically run away afterwards? But why did we even kiss? I mean, I suppose we would've gotten together at some point, being soul mates and all, but…

I was so torn and confused. How do I act when I see him next? What were we? Friendship boundaries had been trespassed already, but were we really anything more? Would the other wolves know by now? I'm pretty sure he left because they called him—or, anyway, that's what I told myself. I was scared, though. The truth was, I just hoped with all my heart that it wasn't my fault he left so suddenly. Maybe he was rethinking the imprint. Can they un-imprint on someone, take it back?

My mind was racing a hundred miles a minute, and my heart just as fast. I let out a shaky sigh and, pulling my legs up to my chest, buried my head in my hands and just stayed there. I don't know how long I was in that position, with my mind blank, but when I went to the window of my bedroom my muscles and bones felt numb and stiff. I pulled a few of the blinds aside for a very short moment, then noticed that it was dark out. What was it? Twilight? No, it was too dark. It must have been nearing one or two in the morning.

Propelled by a strange impulse, I plopped down on the bed and cleared my mind, and soon I was lifted from my body and out in the astral plane. I looked back at myself for a moment, hit by shock when I did. My lips were slightly swollen, my eyes were red and puffy from unshed tears, my skin was paler than it had ever been, and, overall, I looked distressed and like I'd just broken down. Which I probably just had. Tearing my eyes from my horrible state, I focused on finding something. I wasn't sure what, but it felt like there was something I needed to go see. In seconds—maybe—I was rushing along space and pulled into a clearing. For a moment, I was confused. It was clearly empty, wasn't it? So why was I here?

Then came the sounds of people talking. I whipped around and looked at them straight on, knowing they couldn't see me anyway. Coming into the clearing, just stopping, were none other than six pale, beautiful creatures. I had heard of them, and had even seen a few. The Cullens. But wasn't one missing? But, whatever.

What was I doing here, though? What was my purpose? Then again, I acted on a whim, so I didn't really _have_ a purpose. While I was here, I could spy on them for the wolves, I supposed. After some time—I really don't have a good perception of time like this—someone else entered the clearing. It was a vampire with bronze hair, carrying a girl who was, after inspection, _not_ a vampire. It was then that I noticed that was Bella, which meant the vampire was Edward. I'd never actually seen the Cullens, or at least not all of them. The effect of all of them together in one place was stunning. The moonlight that managed to shine through into the clearing shone off their pale skin, reflecting it in various places.

Edward set Bella down and walked with her, hand in hand, to the other vampires, one of which was laughing loudly. I saw Bella speaking to Edward, but I didn't care to listen. I was watching the others, particularly the big brunette male and the lanky blonde male I saw earlier today. Those two were sparring, or fighting, or something. Briefly, I wondered why they were here—why _Bella_ was here.

I _did_ pay attention, however, when I heard the blonde man—the doctor, I think, Carlisle—say something curious.

"When will our guests arrive?" he asked Edward.

Now, normally, I would've thought that was an innocent question, especially coming from a man as seemingly benevolent as the doctor. But these were _vampires_, so that could mean anything. As far as I knew, they were getting ready to suck someone's blood—it was a possibility, even if the wolves had said, though grumpily, that they insisted they drank animal blood.

"A minute and a half," replied Edward. "But I'm going to have to translate. They don't trust us enough to use their human forms."

Now _that_ changed things. Human forms? So they _weren't_ going to feed. But what could they be talking about—who were their guests? In the back of my mind, I kinda sensed I was being a little nosy; maybe more than just a little. But what could their guests be? Human forms, after all, don't suggest the guests are entirely, if at all, human.

"They're coming as wolves?" Bella's voice pierced my thoughts. My eyes widened. Of course! The boys!—plus Leah. But, wait…why were the _werewolves_ meeting _vampires_ they so clearly didn't like, especially when Bella was here and both Edward and Jacob, assumingly, would be? This didn't make any sense. There was a strange suspicion in the back of my mind—like I was forgetting something. Since Bella's here, I can assume that it's not a battle, so it must be something…peaceful. What unites enemies?

_A common enemy,_ I thought. _What could be a common enemy for both of them? _I felt like I was missing something big, something obvious. I looked around at the vamps, noticing that they were wide-eyed or surprised or something, for some reason. Throwing that to the side, I looked at them more closely. _Maybe something…? _I glanced at Bella for a spare moment, then my eyes flashed back to her. Of course! _'There's going to be a war.'_ They must have joined sides!

"We will watch and listen, but no more. That is the most we can ask of our self-control," Edward's voice came, flat and emotionless, bringing me out of my reverie. I turned to look at him, but he wasn't looking at the vampires. All of them were facing, I saw with delight, the wolves. The vampires said a few more words as I looked over the wolves, smiling when I saw the familiar forms. Sam was in the front, naturally. I smiled at the sight of my cousin, looking so powerful and in charge. It was kinda funny, seeing it in person. My eyes ran over every wolf, recognizing them, until I found Embry.

Seeing the gray wolf with black spots on its back made a pang of misery and hurt run through me. At the same moment, I saw Embry shift uneasily. I grimaced. I didn't want to see him right now…it would only remind me of earlier today.

"They'll come across the mountains in four days, in the late morning. As they approach, Alice will help us intercept their path," said Carlisle. As who approaches? What did I miss?

If I was going to stick around here, I might as well pay attention. I sighed and in a second was by Embry, though nobody could see me. I sat down and prepared to watch. I was going to completely knock out when I got back to my body—who _knows_ how many hours I'd be here? Then again, I was here by choice, so it was really my fault... I could return anytime I wanted… Plus, Embry might get worried if I'm unconscious the entire day tomorrow…he might think something's wrong…

Serves him right.

* * *

It was nearly sunrise when they decided they were done. The vampires had sparred, and the wolves had observed. From what I gathered, newborn vampires were the common enemy, and they weren't very good at tactic; they were incredibly strong, though, from what I heard. I was a bit worried about the pack, but, at the moment, I was more worried about how exhausted I would be when I got back. It was probably a selfish thing to think about, but at least I was honest with myself about it. I hadn't left Embry's side all through the night—or early morning, I guess—even though he couldn't see me. Now that the dawn was just breaking over the horizon and the first splashes of warm, bright color filtered out into the sky, I could see them so much more clearly. They were huge, intimidating wolves—nothing like how I was used to seeing them. Then again, they were in the presence of their typical enemy. I don't think they thought they could afford to let their guard down. I watched as the wolves got up and near the vampires, sniffing them unpleasantly, if the 'looks' on their 'faces' were any indication.

I spared a curious glance at Jacob, the reddish-brown mammoth of a wolf, as he prodded forward to Bella, stepping away from the pack. He acted more like a puppy, more like how I was used to the wolf pack acting. I smiled as he licked Bella's face and I heard her complaint. It was kind of disgusting, truthfully, but all the better. The leeches were watching Bella with looks of disgust, while the wolves watched, displeased.

This was interesting and all, but I really had no point here. Looking over at Embry, once more, like I'd been doing all these hours, I decided to head home. I closed my eyes and feel the tugging behind my belly button, the rush of movement. I stopped just before my body and opened my eyes, looking down at myself. I _looked_ somewhat asleep. But, if I was being honest, I'd have to say I looked horrible, even worse than before. I was still pale, which is alarming when you're a Navajo-Quileute like I am, and I had a sheen of sweat about me. I looked sick. In fact, I looked like I was dying or something. This was creepy. But I knew I couldn't waste any more time outside of my body. I sat down on the edge of my bed and body and fell back, down into unconsciousness, drowning in darkness.

* * *

**Alright! Another chapter, done! :) I like this one, and the next one is when things start to pick up a bit more. Thanks for the lovely reviews from lovely people. You know, when I posted the first chapter to this story, I had already written 114 pages of this tale. Funny, huh? That's probably why I'm updating so soon. Once I get to around chapter nine, new chapters will probably start coming slower and slower since I have less of a skeleton for them.**

**Some of you might say I write well, and I probably do, but the chapters are only as good as they are because I've taken my time to read through them and edit them. Know how many times I read through the first few chapters—and even up to here—before I even posted the first chapter to this online? A lot. **

**But thanks for the lovely reviews! They make me feel appreciated(:**

**HunnyABee**

**PS: I'm updating as soon as I get TWENTY (20) reviews!  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Guidance**

**Chapter Eight**

* * *

_The song later seen in the chapter is called "Heart of Mine"; the one I'm listening to says it's by The Peter Malick Group feat. Norah Jones._

* * *

My senses came back slowly, one at a time. I registered the warmth enveloping my right hand before I heard the panicked, worried, grieving murmurs of a male voice. I felt the crisp air, cold on my face, and felt the cotton covers on my bare legs and arms as I shifted slightly. My eyes were still closed, but I registered some light reaching through my lids.

"Jani?"

My eyes fluttered open drowsily. What was that—that sad and remorseful voice calling my name?

"Jani, _please_…"

My vision came into focus slowly. Colors sharpened and details popped out at me. And soon I saw a tan, muscled, bare-chested Embry, looking disheveled and worried, yet relieved once he saw me.

"Damn, Jani…" he murmured, and before I knew it, his forehead was resting on mine, his eyes closed. "I'm so sorry… What happened? Are you okay? What can I do to make it better?"

It was like I was on sensory overload. It was just too much at once—his warm breath washing over me, the heat of his body, his proximity—and I couldn't handle it. I started hyperventilating and I covered my face, backing away from Embry and into the pillow behind me. I was so confused. Not only was I completely lost as to the situation, why he was there, where I was, and so on, but he was assaulting me with his good looks, his emotions, and my emotions. My heart was beating against my chest furiously, and I was sure he would be able to hear it. I felt scorching, gentle hands pry my own hands from my face, and I opened my eyes. I peered through my fingers out at Embry's hurt expression. He looked confused, too. But I was more confused.

"What's going on?" I managed to ask. I allowed him to lower my hands to my lap. One of his warm, strong hands took my chin gently and titled my face so he could see me better. He placed that hand on the side of my face, and I instinctively placed a hand over his.

"You were out cold," he said detachedly. "For two days."

"_What?_" I yelled with a start, and Embry winced. I sat back and stared off into space. Two days? Why? What happened? I might have been tired, but I didn't think I could've been _that_ tired… I looked out the window of my room. It was night, like early morning. The sun was just starting rise. "What are you doing here?" I asked more quietly.

"What are you_ talking_ about?" I looked at him. He looked slightly incredulous, if not insulted. "Why _wouldn't_ I be with you when you've been out cold for two days straight?" I flinched at the sharp tone of his voice. Embry sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I noticed he only wore cutoff shorts, and had a leaf in his hair.

"I meant," I said, bringing my legs under me and kneeling on the bed so I was directly in front of him and only inches away, "why aren't you training for your big battle or something?" My voice came out a teeny bit harsher than I wanted. Embry's expression blanked slightly, before he scowled angrily and looked away, his hands tensed on the bed next to him now.

"So you know about that, huh?" he muttered. I sat back on my haunches, a little disoriented. It was quiet for a few moments before Embry broke the silence. "Yes, I went. I just got back before you woke up."

"Why?" I didn't even know why I'd asked it; it just seemed appropriate.

"_Why?_" He scowled, and still refused to look at me, though I stared at him directly. All of a sudden, he clenched his fists and tightened his jaw, shaking ever so slightly. My eyes widened. "_WHY?_ _Why_ do you _have_ to know _every_thing? Why do you _have_ to be involved with _every_thing? _Why?_"

"E-Embry?" I stuttered, my hand quivering as I reached for his shoulder. A thousand knives struck my heart when I had heard Embry's angry—no, _furious_—tone, and I felt two inches tall, six feet under. Embry glanced at me for a moment, and in that glimpse he changed. His mad expression fell completely, he stopped shaking, and he looked like he was in incredible pain. He raised a hand slowly, cupping my cheek softly.

"I'm sorry." He caressed my face, my cheek. He did so in a way that make me understand he wasn't angry at _me_, specifically. "I just don't want you to get involved—to get hurt," Embry amended. "I don't know what I'd do if…" He trailed off. I frowned.

"You wouldn't let me get killed," I said. He looked up at me, straight into my eyes. I saw the doubt in them. "You _won't_." I sat up on my haunches again, resting an arm around his shoulders and my forehead on his. "Embry, you're my teenage werewolf"—he smiled ruefully and scoffed lightly—"I'm serious! And I know you'll do anything and everything you can to protect me…" I placed my palm on the side of his face. "I know you will. You're amazing, Embry."

"I don't deserve you," he said abruptly, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around me, bringing me into his chest. I felt a little fatigued, but ignored it because I really wanted Embry's attention right now. "I don't deserve an imprint as amazing as you."

"_Amazing?_" I repeated. "Troublesome, you mean." He smiled.

"That too," he murmured against my cheek. With a sudden rush of adrenaline, I brushed my lips over his lightly, hesitantly. Embry's grasp on me tightened momentarily, and he returned the kiss, pressing his lips to mine. My heart was about to burst out of my chest. My hands reached up to tangle in his thick, black hair, and he pulled me flush against his body. There was a strange, detached thought where I doubted this was actually happening, but the warmth surrounding me was proof enough. Embry's lips were warm and gentle against my own. He was like a drug to me—at that point, I wanted nothing more than to get as close as I could, to get as much of Embry's kisses as possible.

* * *

I don't remember at what time I fell asleep that night, in Embry's arms. I remember he said something about how I should rest and that he would be there when I woke up. He was. I recall waking up and trying to remain as perfectly falsely asleep as possible so we wouldn't have to move, so I could spend some more blissful moments in his arms. He caught me, though. He was awake, playing with my hair. I smiled and cuddled into his side, burying my face in his chest.

"Jani…" he sighed. I looked up at him and he grinned. His caramel brown eyes were luring me in again. Embry's smile was breathtaking. He was just amazing. He pecked me on the lips lightly, wrapping his arms around me more securely, and breathed in my scent at the base of my neck. I almost shivered. One nagging thought buzzed around my mind, refusing to leave.

"Embry…"

"Mm?" he murmured into my collarbone. I felt heat creep up my neck and face. Blushing. Oh, joy.

"Er… What…exactly…are we…now?"

There was a pause before Embry pulled back and gazed into my eyes with such intensity that I almost melted. I was putty in his hands. He couldn't stop the smile that spread over his face as he lowered his lips onto mine again, sweetly and tenderly. Again I felt the thousands of butterflies in my stomach, as well as the fluttering of my heart's wings.

"So…" I began, slightly out of breath when Embry pulled away. He smirked triumphantly and kissed the side of my neck.

"Maybe I forgot to ask…" Embry started, "but, would you like to be my girlfriend?" I simpered at his words.

"No." His face fell in a quick second. "_But_," I added before he could say anything, "it'll have to do for now." Embry exhaled and shook his head in disbelief.

"What does _that_ mean?" he asked, but the smile was back.

"That _means_," I said, leaning up to place a chaste kiss on his lips, "that I prefer the term _soul mates_ to _boyfriend and girlfriend._ But it'll do—for now." I winked at him, suddenly feeling bold. Embry growled playfully, grabbing me and flipping us so that I was on top of him, straddling his lap as he pulled me into his body. I raked my nails across his chiseled abs, relishing in the moment as he groaned and crushed his lips to mine once more. This time, his tongue prodded my lips tentatively, and I granted him permission. Before long, we were battling for dominance, and Embry took control as he started tracing circles in the flesh of my midsection exposed when my shirt rode up. I groaned into the kiss and ran my hands through his hair and down his jaw and shoulders to his biceps.

After a moment of that heavy make-out session, Embry leaned his forehead against mine, his breathing ragged and his eyes clouded with lust. I placed one of my hands on the side of his face and smiled.

"You know, I think I just might like you, Embry Call."

He chuckled and kissed me again. And again. And again.

"Embry—Embry! Stop it," I protested, laughing as he trailed kisses down my neck. "Em!" Embry pouted but obeyed.

"You know, I've been waiting for a day like this all my life," he said abruptly, "I just didn't know it before." Embry grinned and kissed the top of my head, gazing at me lovingly. I blushed.

"Sure you have," I said noncommittally.

"No, I have," he insisted, taking my hand, intertwining our fingers. "See how perfectly we match?" Embry pecked my cheek. "I was made for you, and you for me." I sat there in silence for a short moment, staring at our clasped hands. Perfect fit. It seemed almost too good to be true.

"Soul mates, huh?" He nodded jubilantly.

"You—you make me happy, Jani," he admitted, looking away as his cheeks tinged scarlet. I beamed.

"That means a lot to me," I told him softly. My gaze flickered over to the window where the blinds were drawn and shut. What time was it, anyway? I disentangled myself from Embry, much to his disdain. He grabbed my waist and sat me back down onto his lap.

"Mmm…" he purred into my shoulder. I flushed.

"E-Embry!" I slapped his arm lightly and he chuckled. "What time is it?" I paused as slight panic entered me. "Emily and the others don't know I'm awake! They must be so worried!"

"Shh," Embry soothed, rubbing my arms. "Tell them later."

"What? Why?" I felt him pout against my skin.

"I don't wanna share you." I beamed and turned in his arms, pressing my lips to his once more. How easily we'd slipped into that, I thought.

"But, Embry, I've been out for a while," I argued. Just then, my stomach growled uncomfortably, as if to prove my point. Embry groaned.

"Fine, fine, fine," he grumbled, continuing on at a lower volume about having to share me. If I was being honest with myself, I didn't want anyone but Embry to know I was awake—so I could spend more time with him, of course, alone. But I had to see Emily and Sam and—definitely—Cali. And I was hungry.

"You know…you kind of have to let me go if we're going to get me food," I told him. His arms were still locked around me, acting as loving, possessive restraints. Embry grimaced but loosened his hold gradually, and stood up with me. I turned and tried to get to the door, but Embry clung to my waist and walked with me, making for some very clumsy steps. I gave him a look, and he let go—slightly. I sighed but once we were by the door, I opened it quietly and poked my head out into the corridor. No one within hearing distance—unless there was a werewolf in the house.

"Only Emily and Cali," Embry informed me, as if thinking the same thing. "Cali's watching T.V., but Seth's outside so she'll be going to see him once she hears he's there, and Emily's in the kitchen. She's coming over with food for me—which is pretty much normal, seeing as how I never left very much while you were out cold." He kissed my neck and I swatted him away embarrassedly. I stepped out into the hallway and heard Emily's steps, along with the amazingly mouthwatering smell of food. I walked out and called her name quietly.

"Janiya?" she said. Emily came around the corner and placed the food on the floor before running to me and embracing me tightly. She smelled like beef and soup and all kinds of yummy foods. I hugged her back.

"Hey, Emily," I greeted. "I'm hungry." Emily pulled back and laughed.

"I'm so glad you're okay!" she exclaimed. "Here, you can have Embry's food."

"Hey!" Embry whined as Emily rushed over to the tray and handed it to me. Emily gave him a stern look. He smiled sheepishly. "I didn't mean that she should go hungry!" _Hungrier_, I amended silently. "I was going to go take her out for a bite to eat in Port Angeles." Emily's expression softened and I looked at Embry in surprise.

"When did you decide this?" I inquired, cocking a brow at him.

"Just now." I rolled my eyes and my stomach growled. He frowned. "But if you're hungry now, you should eat… I mean, you—"

"No, no, no," I interrupted. "You said we were going for food in Port Angeles. We _have_ to go now." I handed the tray back to Emily. "I mean, I _love _your food, Emily, but I wanna get out and see Port Angeles again."

"It's fine," she assured me. Emily was about to say something else when we heard the door open and close.

"Emily?" Sam's voice came. In a moment, he was by her side. He looked up at me and grinned. "You're awake, then, Jani?" I nodded and hugged him tightly. He held me just as tightly. We might not talk very often—there's not much to say—but I do love my cousin. "I'm glad you're fine."

"Yep, I feel perfect…" I trailed off, wondering about the restaurant thing with Embry. "…and I have to go shower," I finished, laughing. Sam chuckled and switched to embracing Emily, though it was a different kind of embrace. Embry's eyes were still trained on me—I'd be lying if I said he didn't look tempting when he was leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his bare chest, his jean cutoffs lying low on his hips. I tore my eyes from him after a half-second—I didn't particularly want to be caught ogling him. I brushed past him, subtly touching his arm as I passed. But I slammed the door to my bedroom shut just as he was about to turn and enter.

"Oh, come on!" he whined. I laughed.

"Go away!" I yelled playfully.

"Jani!"

"Go wait in the living room with Emily and Sam—I don't trust you by yourself!"

"That makes two of us," I heard Sam mutter.

"Three," Emily's voice corrected. I giggled as I heard Embry's indignant remarks.

"Just _go_, the three of you!" I yelled.

"Please?" Embry begged. I wasn't even sure what he was asking for, but I knew I needed to shower and change and I couldn't do that around him.

"No! Go!" I could imagine his pout as he shuffled to the living room, Emily and Sam following behind with muffled laughter. I'd make it up to Embry later. Right now, I was getting ready. I felt revitalized. Those two days of sleep really did wonders, though I doubt I'd be projecting for a while. I was really just running on adrenaline now. Better make the most of it. I grabbed a set of clothes from the closet—just a pair of black straight jeans and a white tank top—and underwear and headed to the bathroom across from my room, sneaking in as quickly as possible to avoid an Embry confrontation.

After I'd showered and changed—adding a black corduroy jacket to the ensemble—I brushed through my wet hair and headed out into the living room. Emily and Sam looked over when I entered, but Embry wasn't there. I felt my heart sink slightly.

"Where's—?"

"We insisted he go change, as well," Emily interjected with a grin. Sam smiled and kissed her.

"_She_ insisted," Sam amended. Emily pouted. "But I guess I took her side." I smiled at my cousin and his fiancée as they kissed, but soon turned away from the sight.

"Well, would you happen to know when he'll be back?" I asked, my mind on my empty, grumbling stomach. I felt almost weak now. The adrenaline was dying down.

"Soon," Emily said, "especially since he probably can't stay away from you. He's been worried the past couple days, and since you woke up he's been so happy." I blushed lightly, and shuffled my feet.

"Right…" I mumbled. "Well, I'll just…go outside…now… Bye, Sam! Bye, Emily!" I scrambled out the front door to the porch, surprised to find Seth sitting with Cali. He looked at me and grinned. Cali followed his gaze when she saw he stopped paying as much attention to her. She jumped up and immediately tackled me.

"Jani! Oh, Jani! You're alright!" she squealed. "Please don't scare me! Don't get sick like that! Please, please, _please_ be okay!" She bawled and I saw Seth begin panicking. I picked her up—this was getting to be difficult—and cooed to her.

"There, there, Cali," I soothed, kissing away her tears. "And I wasn't technically _sick_." I scowled. "Cali… Sis, no more astral projection, okay? At least not for a while, okay?" Cali cocked her head to the side inquisitively.

"That's why you were asleep?" _Comatose_, I corrected silently. But I nodded. "But that's…"

"Yeah. So please don't. Not for a while, and only when you go with me—which won't be for a while." I could see Seth looking a mix of relieved and worried, though I couldn't tell why or for whom.

"Fine…" Cali agreed reluctantly. I hugged her more tightly. I set her down and Seth stood up and grabbed me in a brotherly hug, ruffling my damp hair, much to my annoyance.

"Hey," he said into my ear, "don't worry us like that again, got it?" I laughed and nodded. "And, by the way, thanks—keep her away from astral projection or whatever it is, please?"

"I'll try my best," I promised him as I pulled away when Cali began tugging on my jeans. She pointed away from the porch with a smug grin. I followed her gaze and smiled. Embry had managed to borrow Jake's motorcycle again. After I gave Cali a kissy on the forehead and one to Seth—much like the one I gave to Cali—I stepped off the porch and waved. "See you later, guys!"

I didn't hear their goodbyes—I was too focused on Embry, who was beaming. He had gotten off the motorcycle and was leaning against it, arms crossed over chest—like he was earlier, against the wall in Emily's house… He was wearing black jeans and a forest green t-shirt. I couldn't help but notice the bulging muscles in his arms and the sharp, strong contours of his shoulders. As I walked up to him—rather quickly—he stepped forward and pulled me into his chest.

I loved the way his arms wound around me tightly, the way he held onto me like he never wanted to let go. I loved the way I felt wanted, the way I felt like I could do nothing to make him hate me. I loved the utter devotion and kindness and care. I loved how he was funny, how he could make me smile and brighten my day. Most of all, I loved how Embry was exactly my cup of coffee—my brand of heroine.

Once those thoughts had been thought, had run through my mind, I was in a daze. I didn't entirely register getting on the back of Embry's borrowed motorcycle and wrapping my arms around his waist. I don't remember leaving La Push, or what few words Embry and I spoke on the way to Port Angeles. I was in a stunned lockdown. I knew the epiphany had happened, but I'd refused to think it.

Embry parked the motorcycle in front of a restaurant, a semi-upscale one. I let my hold on him fall, and he got off. Noticing I was still on, Embry smiled and offered me a hand. A soft grin spread over my lips as I took his hand and slung my leg over the side, then got off. Embry kissed the back of my hand and, entwining our fingers, led me over to the restaurant. Once inside, the lady at the front desk led us to a table and left menus with us. Embry sat across from me, reluctantly. I smiled at him and he took my hand across the table, longing for at least that little bit of contact.

In a moment, I spaced out, staring at one spot on the menu without really reading or seeing anything. Embry had to call my name multiple times to get my attention. I looked up.

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?" he asked, worried. I sent him a reassuring grin and rubbed my thumb over the back of his hand. My stomach growled.

"Just a bit hungry," I told him. It was kind of difficult to look at him. Every time I did, I never wanted to look away. I was skimming the menu for something to eat when I noticed the song playing in the restaurant. I knew that song. _Heart of Mine_ by Norah Jones.

'_Heart of mine, _

_'Be still._

'_You can play with fire,_

'_But you'll get the bill._

'_Don't let him know,_

'_Don't let him know that you love him._

'_Oh, don't be a fool,_

'_Don't be blind,_

'_Heart of mine.' _

I felt heat creeping up my face and butterflies in my stomach making me dizzy—or maybe it was the lack of food. Either way, Embry noticed a slight change and questioned me about it. I continued with the excuse that I was just hungry. The waitress had come and taken our orders, then returned with water for each of us and left once more.

"What's wrong?" Embry asked, his eyes staring into mine with a slight sadness. I made the mistake of looking directly into his eyes. I was drowning in his golden brown eyes, so filled with warmth and love—even though they held sadness because he probably thought I wasn't enjoying this date, for lack of a better word.

"Hmm?" I mumbled dumbly, forgetting his inquiry as I stared at him, taking in his attractive features. Usually, Embry would have teased me playfully, but he was having none of that distraction right now.

"What's wrong?" Embry repeated, more softly, leaning forward on the table. Subconsciously, I leaned forward, too. I thought about that for a second. Wrong? Was anything really _wrong_ right now? I mean, besides the fact that I was starving—although that need for food had taken a backseat to my ogling Embry.

"Wrong?" A corner of my mouth lifted. "Nothing's _wrong_." Embry's brows furrowed in confusion—I could almost hear him thinking about how confusing I probably was.

"Then what's—?"

"I'm just thinking." Truthfully, I _was_ thinking—about him. Norah Jones's song was still playing in the background. Embry was only inches away from me—the table wasn't _that_ wide. But he was still across the table and, right now, I was cursing this table for all it was worth. "Can you sit next to me instead of across from me?" I asked, perhaps a bit bluntly. I didn't even get a response—Embry was, in the blink of an eye, already out of his side and next to me. I turned and scooted over to have more room for him, to have him nearer. Immediately, I threw my legs over his lap and cuddled into his side, laying my head on his shoulder. Embry wrapped an arm around my back and held one of my hands. I reached forward a little and kissed his neck, and I heard him sigh. Embry held me closer. Technically, I wasn't seated on his lap, but it would've made little difference.

When Embry leaned down to kiss me on the lips softly, he brushed my dark hair away from my face and whispered softly that the waitress was coming with the food. Neither of us wanted to move, but we had to. Embry shifted over and I moved back to my place. He took my hand, though, delighting in playing with my fingers, kissing each fingertip. The waitress came shortly and, deciding not to comment on the change in seats, placed our food on the table and left after a few words; she wore a knowing smile, though.

I picked at the chicken parmigiana with my fork, but soon began eating it up after seeing Embry devouring his large steak with a side of ravioli. After we'd finished, we had a few moments of quiet to ourselves. Embry stilled played with my hand.

* * *

First Beach. After Port Angeles, some walking around holding hands and making small talk, he'd taken me to First Beach. The clouds, for once, were heading away from the beach. The sand was refreshingly cool, and the tide was low.

We were so in sync, Embry and I. He smiled, then I would. I laughed, he'd join in. I could barely contain my happiness when he kissed me on the cheek, or wrapped his arms around me, or even just held my hand. I knew I was avoiding the conclusion I had com to, only because I was sure it would end this bliss. If I said it—if I introduced the idea to him—would he be pleased, happy even, or run for the hills? If I admitted it to him to early, would I end up in more pain than joy? Most importantly, would it still exist—would _this_ still exist? Would this turn out to be one of those too-good-to-be-true things?

Either way, I knew it was too late, and it was not a good idea for me to ponder this in his presence. Perhaps later, in my bedroom, alone, I would have the sanity to think of what to do next.

In the meanwhile, I stared at him. He was lying on his back on the sand, arms folded behind his head, looking up at the sky. I laid beside him on my side, not really touching but close enough to him to feel the warmth of his body. The sun had dipped below the horizon just so, and the twilight sky was painted vividly with beautiful reds and oranges and just about every other color of the rainbow—it was like the sky _was_ a rainbow. It was, in a nutshell, romantic. The waves ebbing onto the cliffs nearby and the shore made for pleasant background music.

"Embry?"

I don't know why I said it. I had nothing to say afterward, nothing to ask, and nothing to excuse. But I needed to hear his voice.

"Hmm?" Embry sat up, turning his head to look at me with those amazing brown eyes set in that adoring gaze. I sat up as well, turning my body towards him and crossing my legs under me. He took my hand and smiled that crooked smile at me—the one that left me completely breathless. I couldn't argue with myself at all this time. He looked angelic, the sunset painted behind him only emphasizing that. He was perfect. He was beautiful. In that moment, I knew—no arguments or hesitations.

I was in love with Embry.

I leaned forward on my hands, planting a kiss on his lips sweetly. He returned the action, reaching a hand up to cup the back of my neck and a scorching hot hand trailed down my side, playing with the border of my tank top. The lip-lock continued, and I crawled forward until I was almost directly atop Embry. I didn't even register doing so; I just needed to get close to him, closer than I was. I didn't even notice how Embry was laying back on his elbows and I was straddling his pelvis, still full on kissing him. His tongue prodded my lips for entry, and I granted it. My hands ran down his chest, over his t-shirt, tracing every edge of his abs, teasing when they ran down to the top of his jeans. When I slipped my hands under his shirt, Embry pulled me closer to him than I was already, and he moaned. I didn't notice until afterwards that I'd removed his shirt, that his jeans were unbuttoned and unzipped. Since I was straddling his crotch, I felt the bulge in his jeans against my center, and it only made me kiss him harder.

Up until now, I hadn't been noticing what Embry's hands were doing—I was too focused on other matters. But it's not like I hadn't absolutely loved the feel of his hands on my backside, roaming up my shirt, and leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Yet, he hadn't really gone anywhere personal, like he was respecting me. I was panting and he was panting and our kisses were getting more passionate and fierce. I bit his bottom lip and he growled—which I found was a complete turn-on. I laid my body over his, my chest against his, and kissed him more passionately than before.

And then he stopped and pulled away, looking oh-so very reluctant. Embry's eyes and mine opened, and I saw his pupils were dilated almost completely, his eyes black with lust. He closed his eyes again. We both panted, but didn't move from where we were. The sounds of the waves ebbing and crashing into the cliffs and shore suddenly seemed very loud.

After the first few seconds, lust and adrenaline lost its edge, and panic settled in. Maybe I'd gone too far? Maybe he didn't want me like that? Maybe—maybe—

"You don't want to do this," Embry said huskily, interrupting me from my mental breakdown. He still didn't open his eyes. "It shouldn't happen this way." He was still breathing hard—and, speaking of hard, I was still straddling him.

"Embry…" I whispered, my voice barely audible.

"I don't want you to do something you'll regret." I couldn't move, for a certain reason, but if I could I would just hug him until all his sadness left. He seemed regretful and sad now, anyway—I hoped it was just because he thought I was mad at him or something, in which case he'd be wrong anyway.

"I wouldn't regret anything with you, Embry," I told him, still staring at him. His eyes flew open, and he stared at me for a moment so intensely that I couldn't look away or even blink. He looked away, muttering something under his breath. I didn't hear most of it, or any of it, except for one part.

"God, I love you." My entire self felt incredibly warm and light after that. I knew I must have made that obvious, because Embry instantly glanced back at me, blushing madly. "Er… I didn't…" he stammered. Then he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I'm not going to say I didn't mean it—because I meant it, with all my heart." Whatever he was going to say melted away once he said that, because Embry continued digressing. "I mean…you're amazing… You're beautiful… You're smart, sweet, sassy… And…God, I love you. You—you don't have to say anything, I mean, I know—"

"Shush," I interrupted, placing a finger on his lips. I bit my lip, looking up at him shyly. "I…love you, too… I mean, I guess, you know, obviously, you're sweet and you're—you—I," I babbled, now finding it hard to admit gooey feelings in front of even Embry. When I confessed that, I watched as Embry's face changed. He looked like a little boy who had a crush on a girl he never thought he could get, but who just told him she liked him back. For a moment, he just gazed at me. Then he captured my lips with his.

"I love you," Embry murmured lovingly, his forehead on mine, his warm breath mingling with mine. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." I couldn't help but chuckle quietly. He smiled. I kissed him and smirked as I shifted over his lap and his, once again, raging hard-on. I grinned devilishly as he groaned, both in pleasure and in torture.

"Did I mention I love you, too?" I teased. He sent me a sharp grin and pulled me down on top of him, or, rather, more so than before.

"It's nice to hear," said Embry. He kissed my temple. "Damn. Kiss me, arouse me, tell me you love me, arouse me again… You'll be the death of me, woman!" We laughed, and the movement of both our bodies shaking made me mentally swoon.

"Nah, I'm sure my big bad wolf will survive anything I can dish out at him." I kissed his soft lips again. "And I'll always be around to make it all better." Embry ran his hands down my sides and kissed me breathless.

"You better be around," he panted.

"I'll be around regardless," I told him. "If I'm not, you'll always drag me back to you and knock sense into me." Embry pouted.

"I don't like the sound of that…" he mumbled, then smirked. "I prefer _kissing_ the sense back into you." He did just that.

"Only…one problem…" I whispered against his lips.

"And that would be?" he whispered right back, licking my lips.

"You kiss the sense _out_ of me, Embry," I stated, laughing. Embry rolled us over in a second so that he was hovering over me, kissing along my jaw and my collarbone.

"Eh, I don't see you complaining," he refuted. I sat up and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, once more leaning my forehead on his. His pupils were, yet again, dilated to nearly the brink. I smiled and ran a hand through his hair. Embry closed his eyes in contentment.

"I love you." I could never get tired of saying that. It'd been more or less a few minutes since I'd first said it, since _he'd_ first said it, and I already loved it—loved _him_—and I was ready to tell him that. I curled a lock of his hair around my finger, vaguely noting that his hair was getting longer and falling onto his forehead. He still looked amazing and beautiful, though. Perfect. "I love you, Embry," I said, staring into his warm eyes, only millimeters away from each other's lips. I loved the feel of his name on my lips, rolling off my tongue. Oh, God, I was so lovesick. But I didn't care.

"I love you, Janiya."

* * *

***First of all, I would've updated a bit sooner, but I only just to back from vacation. I thank you all so much for the reviews—they warm my cold heart(: lol.  
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**AAAAW!**

**I know I wrote it, but I still get all fan-girl-ish and sentimental when I read this chapter! I sincerely believe this is my favorite chapter of all the chapters in this story...thus far, anyway. I'm not sure what other cutesy scenes might arise in later chapters I haven't even dreamt up.**

**I'm updating when I get to...hmm... I'll say 40 reviews, because I need time to finish writing and proofread (three times), as well as wrap it up. So, yeah, 40. Sorry, love, but that's for...is it arrogant to say "quality" writing? But, well, for the best I can do. ;)  
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**HunnyABee  
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	9. Chapter 9

**Guidance**

**Chapter Nine

* * *

**_So, I updated this story sooner because I happened to get bored of waiting. Kind of disappointed that I didn't get to 40, but I'm hoping to get to it now. This is a pretty big chapter, both lengthwise and event-wise. In fact, I had to break it up into two chapters, which I'm not too glad about, but I'll deal with._**  
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* * *

When Embry took me back home, we wiped our faces of all smiles before we even approached the house. I don't think either of us wanted anyone else to know what went on in the beach—not that anything was really done. Just some major flirting. And stuff. But mostly the I-love-yous—that, I supposed, was something we should keep to ourselves.

"How long do you think it'll be until someone, or everyone, finds out we're dating?" I asked him quietly. Embry—who'd put his shirt back on since we left the beach, unfortunately—smiled and kissed my temple.

"Not very long if you keep whispering about it in front of werewolves," he teased. I smacked him lightly and rolled my eyes. "Fine, fine. I give it two weeks, maybe."

"I'd give it three, maybe four," I said. Then I looked at him mischievously. "Okay, no telling _anyone_, and you can't think about it when you're phased, got it? And no acting anything more than how we usually act, okay? Let's see how long they take to figure it out." Embry scowled.

"No acting anything more than how friends act?" he said. He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him, breathing in deeply at my collarbone. He kissed the corner of my mouth gently. "No—_that_?"

"Not in public." I could feel him smiling against my skin as he kissed my jaw. "Seriously, Embry." But I couldn't stop a giggle or two here.

"Fine, fine," Embry relented, grinning. His eyes flickered to the house. "Want me to come inside?"

"Yep. But I doubt Sam or Emily will want you in my room."

"Can't hurt trying." He sent a cheeky grin over at me which I couldn't help but reciprocate. I took his hand and headed up to the house. Once inside, I noticed Seth, Cali, Emily, and Sam all sitting around the television, though I could swear Emily was cooking something in the kitchen for later. It smelled good, like beef and mashed potatoes… If I hadn't just come from eating, I probably would have been drooling. Heck, Embry probably was. I dropped Embry's hand when the others looked over.

"Hey, Jani," Emily greeted. "Did you have a nice time?" I looked at her suspiciously, trying to fight the blush coming over my neck as I thought back to First Beach. I nodded.

"It was fine," I answered. I know I must be acting a bit out of character because Embry subtly nudges me with his foot and even Sam is giving me an inquisitive look. "It was fun, okay? I mean, the speed, riding to and from Port Angeles on a motorcycle, is awesome. It's just, you know, my hair got messed up and—"

By this point, I know I'm babbling—a nervous tendency—so I cut off mid-sentence and head for my room. Embry doesn't follow, of course, because that would look suspicious—but I'm secretly disappointed that he doesn't. Of course, because I'm in my room, I can't really hear anything that's being said, except for when Cali yells out that she wants to come see me and make me feel better. Thankfully, when the door to my room opens, it's only Embry smiling at me. I didn't mean to sound like I didn't like or care about Cali, but I really wanted to spend time with Embry, _alone_.

Not for any particular reason.

Except, you know, that I love him.

Embry closed the door softly behind him and came to sit on my bed with me, against the headboard. He just stares at me with this kind of adoring, amazed gaze. It's so intense that I can't look away. His eyes—gold-brown, kind, amazing, smoldering eyes—seem to penetrate the walls I've placed so strategically around my heart and mind. Embry took my hand and intertwined our fingers, holding up our hands in between us.

"What's up, Embry?" I asked quietly. Embry frowned, looking somber and withdrawn. I crawled up in front of him, placing a hand on his face. His eyes closed at my touch.

"Remember…the war?" I looked at him confused for a moment before I wracked my brain, trying to remember any details about any war. Slowly, almost painfully, it comes to me. The vampires, the newborn vampires. I nodded, and, before he continues, I know I have to tell him about how I saw them in the clearing.

"Embry, remember when I asked if you were battling or anything?" His jaw tightened, but he nodded curtly. "Well… You wondered how I knew that… That's where I was… I was projecting, and I was there…when you guys met with the Cullens." His expression was stoic. I couldn't tell whether or not he was angry that I'd eavesdropped or spied on them. Embry sighed. He pulled me into his chest, tucking my head under his chin and rubbing my back. I had to admit, it feel nice. He was warm, and his actions were warm. There was nothing angry about them.

"I'm sorry," I heard him whisper.

"For what?" I mumbled, my cheek pressed against his chest. I raised my hand up near my face, placing it on his chest.

"For…for leaving you." I swallowed uncomfortably.

"W-what are you talking about, Embry?"

"You know what I'm talking about." I did. "Don't make me say it," he begged quietly, sounded crushed. I frowned and turned in his arms to wrap mine around his torso and bury my face into his clothed chest.

"Forgiven," I stated softly. I really should've put up more of a fight—any other time with any other person, I would have. But it was Embry…and I didn't want to ruin our time together now bringing up what happened.

"But—how can you just—forgive me—like that?" Embry asked roughly. "I—I blamed myself when you were out cold. You looked like you'd been crying and I—I almost thought you weren't coming back… At first, I thought you might've been projecting or something…but then you never woke up the next day. I was going insane."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are _you_ sorry?" Embry seemed almost disgusted and outraged that I'd said that, that I didn't really put the blame on himself. But how could I? It wasn't his fault… If I didn't know that, I'd be lying to myself.

"It wasn't your fault."

"You were crying. _That_ was reason enough for me to go insane. It was my fault I made you cry."

I moved back slightly and looked up at him. Embry looked so sad and, in that moment, older than he really was. He was only sixteen, and I was only fifteen. It was hard to remember at times, especially when he didn't look sixteen and when neither of us really acted our ages too much. But here, he looked older than his age in a bad way. He looked like a man who'd been heartbroken, who'd been regretful and grieving.

"Oh, Embry…"

I felt like I needed to comfort him, to wrap my arms around him and just kiss the pain away. I moved up so I was kneeling, and I was _just_ taller than him because he was sitting. I kissed his forehead and he wrapped his arms around my waist, low on my hips, burying his face into my neck. I cradled the back of his head and stroked his hair.

"Embry, you've got to stop beating yourself up and jumping over every little thing you might or might not mess up." Granted, I should probably stop overreacting and being pessimistic and self-deprecating, but that's an issue for another day. Embry didn't say anything. "Hey, Em, what were you going to tell me—about the war?" Okay, so it wasn't exactly a good subject, but it was better.

Embry brought his face up to mine, pressing his cheek to mine and inhaling my scent, I guessed. "The war—they think the battle will be tomorrow," he whispered, his lips near my ear. My stomach dropped, like a weight crashed upon it.

"Tomorrow?" Embry nodded, his lips parting as if to say something, but no words are spoken. "But…"

Embry ran a hand through his hair, looking tortured—in a sexy way, I notice at the back of my mind—and sighed. I took his hand. "All the wolves," Embry said, gazing at me now, "took the day off patrolling to spend time with their imprints and family. The ones who haven't imprinted did patrol for a while, though."

"What… You have another practice thingy tonight, don't you?" I asked quietly. He nodded. I exhaled disappointedly. He'd be off tomorrow, who knows where, fighting vampires and trying to survive. I sat down, letting his hold on me fall.

"I'm sorry—"

"Just—stop—Embry—ok?" I interrupted, holding my hands up. I ran a hand through my hair. I didn't _mean_ to sound…well, _mean_, but I was upset. I mean, how else are you supposed to feel when your boyfriend, whom you've been dating as of less than half of a day, is going off to battle the next day and you don't know if he'll come back in one piece, if at all?

"If you want me to go, I'll go. Just say the word." Embry's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"No!" I got up quickly and threw my arms around his shoulders, securing myself to him because I was sure he wouldn't be affected by my pulling meekly on his arm. "Please don't go." Embry wrapped his arms around me, hugging me to him tightly. "Please don't go. If you have to go fight tomorrow, then at least stay with me now."

"Okay."

* * *

Did I mention how I hated Bella? That might sound a bit harsh, but, think about it, would an army of vicious newborn vampires be heading for Forks and La Push if it wasn't for her?

Thursday morning was unpleasant simply because the sense of death and danger hung in the air. Embry hadn't left throughout the night—he'd slept on the floor, holding my hand. We had spent the night talking until it got late and he insisted I rest. I think Embry was awake at least until I was asleep because I never noticed his hand drop from mine. He woke up before me, though.

I shuffled on the bed, stretching under the covers. I looked over the edge of the bed—very easily, since I usually sleep on the edge of the bed on my stomach—and saw Embry looking up at me, arms behind his head, from the floor. I felt bad that he had slept on the floor, but he insisted. He also insisted he didn't need a pillow or bed sheets, so I felt guilty about those, too.

"Em?" I whispered, my voice husky and almost dreamy from sleep. "Why you up so early?" I think the corner of his lips pulled up at my disregard for grammar.

"I run on less hours of sleep," Embry answered quietly, his voice sounding velvety. I closed my eyes, almost swooning. Although I didn't faint, I did allow myself to plop onto the bed on my back and sigh. I registered the dip in the bed as Embry looked down at me fondly. He lightly stroked the side of my face with his fingers; I closed my eyes yet again and reveled in the feel of his loving caress. "You okay?"

My eyes fluttered open. I felt flushed, and I nodded, staring at him in adoration. "Perfect," I breathed. Embry drew his hand back and I sat up slowly, noticing our proximity. Even in the dim light the shutters let in, I could see Embry's beautiful, soulful brown eyes on mine, his soft, kissable lips, and his sharp yet somehow boyish features.

"So…" Embry's eyes never left mine. I felt this anxious, ecstatic feeling in the pit of my stomach when he looked at me, when he was this close to me. For a second, I could even feel the connection between us, could almost see it, that he'd once described.

I sighed. "I don't want to leave my room," I murmured quietly, feeling a bit embarrassed. I felt scared. I didn't want to leave, to be bombarded by the others, or to head out into this world because I knew it'd all remind me of how Embry and the others were going to be off fighting later on. Embry sighed, too, and laid down on my bed, arms behind his head again. I leaned back and my position was more relaxed, but I was still sitting…sort of. Embry shuffled closer and turned, laying his head on my stomach and throwing an arm over my hips. I felt slightly self-conscious.

"I don't want to leave, either," Embry said quietly. "It'd probably just remind me how we'll be fighting soon…maybe later tonight, maybe early tomorrow morning… Sometime very soon…" I didn't say anything, instead choosing to listen to the sound of his voice as if I'll never hear it again. I placed a hand in his hair, absentmindedly playing with the locks. "I don't want to leave you, either… I don't want to make you worry… I don't want the possibility of never seeing you again.

"Sam…Jake…the others, they're excited. A lot of them are. Some of them…some of them are just as worried as excited, especially the ones with imprints."

"Fight for me, Em."

"What?"

"Forget Bella, forget La Push or Forks, forget the 'thrill' of killing vampires—if for nothing, fight to come back—fight to return to _me_."

I heard Embry's deep breaths, and then he shifted and looked up at me. Arm still slung over my hips, he pulled me closer to him and pressed his mouth to mine. It was a short, sweet kiss from which Embry pulled away after a succinct moment. He brushed my brown hair out of my face and looked into my eyes again.

"I'll _always_ return to you," he promised. I bit my lip, but couldn't help but correct him.

"You mean you'll always _try_," I said sadly. Embry frowned and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"Ah, ye of little faith," he teased. I cracked a smile at that. Then he was serious again. "I promise to you, I'll always come back."

"You swear?" He kissed me again, effectively quieting my doubts. But they were there, and they weren't going to die anytime soon. Embry seemed to sense that. He took my hands and kissed the backside of each, then every knuckle, and entwined our hands again.

"I swear, promise, assure, guarantee…—what's another word for 'promise'?"

I laughed. "Vow, affirm, profess…ensure…declare…er…pledge?" Embry gave a crooked smile and nodded.

"Well, whatever, all of those—I'll come back to you, or—" he cut off abruptly, seemingly rethinking his wording. "I'll _always_ come back, Jani." I pursed my lips.

"Embry Call, if you get hurt in the battle, I'll kill you," I informed him. Nodding, he pecked my lips.

"I'll do my best—_not_ to get hurt, that is." I smiled. If he got hurt, I'd definitely go into hysterics. And if he died—

If he died. I hoped with all my soul that that wouldn't happen. Is that what he was going to say earlier? _I'll come back to you, or die trying. _If he died, would I die, too? He imprinted on me—I was his imprint. We were soul mates. Could soul mates continue living without the other? In my mind, it seemed like an impossibility.

"Jani?" Embry called, snapping me out of my thoughts. "You okay?"

"Fine," I answered automatically. "Embry?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me more about the battle, what you're going to do today, and…stuff." I needed to know more—being kept in the dark was only going to make me worry more about the details. Embry made a face.

"Well… Later we'll be heading out to the clearing to make sure everything's set…if there's anything to set, really."

"And the battle?"

"I think it's tomorrow, early in the morning. We're not a hundred percent sure, though. Either way, some of us are staying out in the forest for the night, in our wolf forms. The rest of us are going in the morning, like at dawn."

"And the imprints?"

"The imprints—you included—are all staying here. Emily's sister is dropping Claire off later today, Kim's gonna come over, and Brady and Collin are going to be patrolling around La Push just in case."

"Wait—Brady and Collin? So, everyone else is…" I trailed off.

"_Everyone_ is fighting," Embry finalized with a look of mixed emotions. "Basically, everyone's somewhere. Brady and Collin are around La Push, and they'll handle whoever dares to come near. They'll check in on you guys every now and then. Jacob's gonna be with Bella until tomorrow morning, where Seth will take his place in whatever clearing Bella decides to drag Edward to."

"And you?"

He hesitated. "I'll be in the other clearing, fighting the newborns along with the rest of the pack and the Cullens." I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and clung to him. In fact, I even wrapped my legs around his waist as if that would keep him here, safe, away from the battle. He rubbed my back reassuringly.

"Embry, Embry, Embry," I sighed. "Please, please—be careful." I stared him down, our faces barely centimeters apart. His lips parted slightly and then curled into the crooked grin I loved so much.

"I'll be fine," he assured me. "I'm built for this, remember?" I attempted a smile. Embry kissed me, letting his lips linger a millimeter from mine. "I'm more worried about you. But, then again, I'm sure you're gonna argue about how you're not stupid and how you'll be fine and some other junk that won't make me worry any less."

I smiled and stuck my tongue out at him; because our faces were so close, I was able to lick his lips. Embry bit my tongue playfully before he began kissing me for real, placing a hand at the back of my neck. My arms still around his neck, my legs still around his abdomen, this was a compromising position; but I couldn't care less. I kissed him back, our tongues battling for dominance and my fingers knotting in his hair. His hands lingered at my hips, tracing circles in the flesh exposed.

Of one thing was I certain—I could _not_ live without Embry Call—I could not bear to be away from his touch, his laugh, his smile for even a day.

* * *

Embry had to leave at noon. The wolves needed to prepare and strategize. I still didn't want him to go. I found myself cursing Bella more and more as the day worn on. I eventually had to leave my room; I felt guilty for neglecting my baby sister and Emily as I had the past few days.

"Hello, Jani," Emily greeted when I walked out into the living room, bundled in leggings, a wool sweater, a scarf, and mittens because I knew it would get cold later tonight. She and Cali were sitting on the couch, as if they were watching television. The T.V. wasn't on. Emily's face was devoid of expression—in fact, she looked silently determined.

"Hi," I said as halfheartedly as she had. Cali didn't speak, but her eyes flickered between me and Emily. I sat beside Cali quietly, and she leaned into my side, clinging to my arm. "What's wrong, Cali?" _I_ knew what was wrong, and _Emily_ knew what was wrong—did Cali? If so, why would Seth tell her? She's just five. If she knew about werewolves and vampires—though I wasn't aware if anyone had told her, and I hadn't asked her if she had seen the boys phase—it wasn't because of me.

Cali shrugged, though, choosing to snuggle into my side. I placed an arm around her, bringing her onto my lap. "You and Emily are really sad… Or you're acting sad… So…" Emily looked towards us, and I frowned. I felt bad that Cali felt saddened because we were. I'm sure Emily did, too, because she immediately pasted a smile on her face that, if hadn't known was fake, would have convinced me everything was fine.

"Come on, Cali," Emily chirped, "would you like to help me bake brownies for when Claire and Kim get here?" Cali looked up at her, eyes wide with confusion and suspicion, but she seemed to push that away as she beamed and sped away to the kitchen.

"Huh," I mumbled. "Oh, Emily, are—when are Brady and Collin getting here?"

"With any luck, when Kim and Claire have already arrived and had brownies," Emily answered, her mask slipping slightly. She looked tired and worried. I patted her hand before she turned to go to the kitchen where Cali was impatiently waiting.

"Don't worry, Emily," I murmured, wishing I could console myself as well. Emily nodded, though I was sure she didn't fully take my word to heart.

"When Kim and Claire get here—which will probably be at the same time, since Quil volunteered to pick up Claire and will probably pick Kim up since Jared's busy—make sure they get settled, okay?" Emily turned and left for the kitchen, where Cali had begun to call Emily's name.

So I sat there, on the couch, my hands folded in my lap, staring at the wall. I felt oddly detached, which was starting to become common. I felt blank, like a white canvas—like I was supposed to feel _something_, but didn't. It was the complete opposite when—

I pressed my lips together in a firm line so my chin wouldn't tremble with my quivering lips, seeking to cry out sobs of grief. All the pain I'd been suppressing for the past few weeks blew up at me, and I draped my upper body over my legs, doubling myself over. I held on to my legs tightly, trying to regain my cool and calm demeanor, but it was too late.

I missed my mom, and my dad, and my old life. A pang of regret and guilt resounded in me when I thought that, mostly because of how attached I was to everyone here, but I shook it off. I missed my parents, and I felt hot tears running down my cheeks when I recalled their tragic death—murder. Although I'd never been intimately close to them like other people were with their parents, I loved them so much. It was just odd, and oh so painful, thinking that they were dead. They didn't deserve that horrid death.

I was shaking, shaking with repressed cries. I was weeping silently, my face wet with evidence of my lamenting sniffles and tears. When the doorbell rang, it was so unexpected that I shot up off the couch, narrowly avoiding crashing onto the coffee table nearby and shattering a vase. I ran to the bathroom quickly and washed off my face, then headed to the door with a stoic expression. Once opened, Kim and Claire bustled in quickly, too distracted by their need for warmth to pay any mind to what my face looked like. I'm sure the only traces of crying left were the slightly reddened eyes, but those would fade soon. I shut the door and waited a few moments, listening to Claire greet Cali and Emily, before joining Kim in the living room.

"It's gotten very cold in a very short time, hasn't it?" I said conversationally, sounding quiet. It was normally chilly in Forks and La Push—in all of Washington, really—but it was _snowing_ outside now. The first snow of the summer—doesn't that sound a bit odd? Either way, it was snowing, or it _had_ been. I wondered, briefly, if the boys would be cold outside.

"Very c-cold," Kim agreed, nodding her head. Her nose was slightly redder and her skin was pale—she was bundled up in a jacket that looked too big to be hers, furry boots, jeans, a long-sleeved sweater, a scarf, and even a knitted hat. Even then, she rubbed her arms and shivered. I walked over and threw my arms around her in a hug, and she clung to me and whatever warmth I offered. I hadn't been outside at all today, but the draft that had entered with Kim and Claire made it clear it was freezing.

"Did you see Jared today?" I asked. Kim nodded, her shivering ceasing.

"Earlier today," she sighed, smiling dreamily. Then the smile slipped, and there was worry and panic in her eyes. "But now he's gone off with the others—" She cut off there. She didn't need to finish the statement—it was clear that we both knew exactly where our wolves were.

"I know," I murmured, rubbing her arms to warm her up more.

"Kim!" Emily called, trying to sound cheerful though I knew the pain in her heart was ever present. Emily came and gave both Kim and I a hug—she was warmer than I was, having been cooking and baking. Emily smelled of gingerbread, which made me smile. Gingerbread? Why? But I guess brownies weren't enough to satisfy everyone.

"Hello, Emily," greeted Kim, snuggling into both Emily and I. "Warm." Emily and I giggled at Kim's eccentricity, though it was short lived because we both had that lingering weight on our hearts and minds. Even Kim sobered up.

"I better be heading back to the kitchen, keep an eye on those two, you know?" Emily said quietly, pulling away and turning to leave.

"I'll be there in a moment—kitchens are quite warm," said Kim. A corner of my mouth lifted at her quirkiness, but I couldn't enjoy the moment entirely. Though I refused to think of it, the feeling was always there—that feeling of foreboding, of disaster. I tried not to think the name, but he worried me. What was he doing, I wondered, now that the war was so close?

Kim and I sat on the couch for a few moments in silence, Kim already having warmed up and taken off her scarf and hat—though she kept Jared's jacket. I sighed and wished I had something of Embry's to keep—a piece of him to hold onto so I could better hold onto hope. It was so hard to hope, though, when I couldn't even picture the wolves and whatever they were supposed to be fighting. Although this should have given me more hope, what with ignorance being bliss and all, it only made me more frightened of whatever it was they were up against. I could only pray they all got back in one piece, uninjured, unharmed…

But such a hope was unreasonable. Someone had to get hurt. At least one person from our side would get hurt—perhaps more. I yearned to see Embry, to know he was alright, to have him whisper sweet, comforting words in my ear…but he was out in the cold wind, soon to be blizzard, and I was stuck inside. Horrible. That's how I felt. My Embry was out there…fighting…and I had no idea how he was… Maybe I was being paranoid and unreasonably so, but Kim and Emily looked just as about to fall apart as I did.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Kim asked, shaking my from my thoughts. I looked at her, saw her eyes shiny with unshed tears ready to spill at any moment. I took a second too long to answer and she sniffed and wiped a nonexistent tear away. "I mean, it's just, I've never seen them all have to go out like this—there's never been such a big battle, or a war, or anything, and it's just—oh, do you think Jared will be alright? I mean, everyone?"

"I'm positive they'll be fine," I said, and once it's out of my mouth I know it's the last thing I believe. For Kim's sake, though, I have to be strong. I placed a hand on her shoulder—she had started to tremble. "Kimmy, Jared's a strong boy—an old boy—he'll be back to you in no time once the battle's done. Trust me, he'll be fine. And the others—they'll all be okay, alive, and they'll definitely return." Kim doesn't say anything, but I know she's content with my answer, given hope by the speech. I stood up and offered her a hand. "Come on, let's get to the kitchen before Claire and Cali eat all of Emily's brownies, cookies, et cetera."

"Okay." Her voice was weak, but at least she made an effort. I took her hand and led her to the kitchen where Claire and Cali were sitting at the counter, each munching on brownies and gingerbread cookies. Emily was mixing away again, this time some kind of cake mix.

"Need help, Emily?" I offered. She turned around and shook her head.

"No, no, it's fine," she answered. "Just, after a while, put those two darlings to sleep."

It was quiet, almost too quiet—the only sound was that of Emily's whisk beating around the cake batter in the glass bowl and of the oven's occasional ticks when it heated up gradually. Kim sat at the counter with the two young girls who were still grabbing at cookies and brownies. I stood near the doorway of the kitchen, looking in at everything, feeling utterly useless and hopeless. I could hear, getting louder and louder, the whipping of the wind against the house.

"The windows are shut tight, right, Emily?" She nodded. Cue tense silence. "You have extra blankets?" With another nod, my second attempt at conversation failed. Now for questions that required a little more than yes or no. "Where are we all going to stay together through the night?"

Emily turned towards me, eyebrows knitted. "The living room." It was a start.

"Movies?" A nod. I mentally sighed at the regression. "Emily, please talk. I know you're trying, but you have to try harder. I'm dying inside. Kim's freezing, but she looks worried and in pain like the both of us do. Cali and Claire, well, they know something's off. But I'm dying here, Emily—moping's not going to help us."

I plopped down in a chair near the counter, not bothering to look around at anyone's expressions. This wasn't easy for any of us. I guess I just hoped being all together would keep our hopes up, but we were all depressed and keeping to ourselves. Every second, my mind kept doubling back to the upcoming battle, to Embry. It was hard to stay positive when I didn't have him with me, stroking my hair and whispering words of comfort into my ear.

I sat up with a start. I hadn't noticed what a softy I'd become—until now, that is. Did Embry do that to me? Ugh. Why was I depending so much on Embry? He was a big boy—he could take care of himself. I was being pathetic, worrying so much over him for little reason.

"That's it," I muttered. Then I slammed my palm down on the counter, making all four of them—Emily, Kim, Claire, and Cali—jump. "We can't do this. We can't be this! We're being weak little girls! We're being pathetic! I mean, the guys can do this, can't they? They're built for this—to do this very thing! We shouldn't be so depressed, and we shouldn't completely depend on them!"

Emily and Kim stared at me with wide eyes, but they held a sort of pensiveness in their expressions. Claire and Cali looked at me oddly—Claire, being only two, turned back to the cookies and began munching them again. Cali frowned for a slight moment, but nodded curtly and went back to eating the brownies.

"I agree," Kim said, sitting up in her chair. Her shoulders were back, not rounded in sadness any longer. Her eyebrows knitted slightly—whether in concern or determination, I didn't know—and her expression carried a sense of ferocity. Jared would be proud. "We can't just sit around here crying over our men—I agree, Jani." She turned to Emily. "Em, I know it hurts, but they'll be alright! They're them, and Jani's right—they were built for this! And we are being pathetic!"

Emily furrowed her brows, looking slightly weary, but understanding. She nodded, straightened her posture, and attempted a tough grin. I knew she was thinking of Sam—we were all worried about our wolves, and it wouldn't be gone no matter how much we pushed it away.

"Can we just try to have fun, like it's a sleepover?" I suggested. "Maybe that'll take the edge off."

"Of course," Emily agreed quickly. "Go to the living room, pick out a movie or two. I'll be there once these cookies get out of the oven and I set a new batch to bake."

"Alright. Cali, bring Claire to the living room. We're watching movies!" I tried to sound excited for their sake. Cali might have seen through the act, but chose to nod and take the hand of her surrogate sister and lead her to the living room. Kim slung an arm over my shoulders.

"To the DVDs!" she shouted triumphantly, pointing up. I stifled a laugh and we marched after my sister.

* * *

"Another one!"

I groaned. "No way. No more crappy little kid movies." If I had to see Barney, or the Teletubbies, or any stupid mainstream Disney or Nickelodeon star or cartoon, I would pull my hair out. After watching a couple of Claire's supplies of baby movies that were kept here, I had had enough. It was, what? Nearly nine or ten? I'd suffered nearly six hours of child shows and movies! I think Kim shared my pain, but Emily didn't really care. She was mostly cooking more and more treats, anyway—she'd needed to; Brady and Collin ate most of the ones she made when they arrived not too long ago. Now she'd progressed to not only brownies and gingerbread cookies, but chocolate chip and triple fudge and sugar and vanilla and caramel.

"Did you know that brownies are considered a type of cookie?" said Kim, chewing on a chocolate chip cookie. I sent her a sharp look.

"Hello? Take my side here—no more baby movies!" I insisted, flailing my arms.

"Oh, calm down, Jan," she continued, brushing me off. "The girls are about to drop anyway. It won't be long till they're sound asleep." Kim gestured towards the girls. Cali and Claire, though they kept murmuring about another movie—Claire in her funny way of speaking—they were curled up near the arms of the sofa-chair seat they shared. I sighed.

"I suppose." I went to go grab blankets from the closet in the corridor, placing one over both Cali and Claire and dumping the rest on a side of the couch. The wind was still beating at the house, and every now and then I shivered. But we kept going, Kim, Emily, and I. We were trying to be strong—we _were_ strong—and for hours now my mind barely skimmed over the subject of what was soon to come. Perhaps the stupid mind numbing kid movies did that—one can only take so much of _Blue's Clues._

"Oh, lighten up, Jani," Kim commented airily, though I knew she was looking a little haggard, too. Her thoughts were probably heading in the same direction mine were—it was later, and it was getting closer. _It_ was looming up ahead, a dark sense of foreboding hanging in the air.

"Jani! Kim!" Emily called from the kitchen. She walked in, wiping her hands on a washcloth. "Pumpkin or pecan pie?"

"Pumpkin!" I told her at the same time Kim answered, "Pecan!" We stared at each other intimidatingly before bursting out into laughter—not too loud, though, because Cali and Claire were sleeping.

"I'll make both," Emily compromised, smiling. The scars on the side of her face still pulled her mouth into a half grimace, but at least I knew the other part was genuinely grinning.

"Awesome," Kim and I chorused, giggling silently. I threw a couch cushion at her head. She ducked, but it hit her shoulder. Kim sent a playful glare over at me, and I motioned, 'Bring it on.' Her face splitting into a devious grin, she darted for the pillows and began pelting me with them. I evaded some, but tripped on another—thankfully, I landed on the pillows I had avoided.

"Kim!" I scolded, frowning. I glared at her halfheartedly as I stood up quickly and plopped onto the couch. My pulse was racing with adrenaline—funnily enough, it still couldn't compare to how fast my heart pounded when Embry was around. At the mere thought of him, I felt my heart flutter, and I knew I was lovesick—but I didn't know whether to smile or gag at that.

Kim yawned from behind me and covered her mouth with her hand, lying down beside me on the couch and laying her head on my shoulder, snuggling into my side. For a moment, I was thinking, What the heck? But I figured she must've been tired, and I was definitely supportive of her and had helped her keep her mind off of certain events that would occur soon enough.

After a while, Kim fell asleep. Emily and I watched a movie quietly, only speaking to comment on the ridiculousness of the characters and plot. I'm not sure at what point I fell asleep, because I definitely don't remember the ending of the movie, or even what I saw last, but I remembered the light weight of a wool blanket being draped over me, warm and safe…like Embry.

* * *

**Review, please!**

**Happy New Years, and (a belated) Merry Christmas!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Guidance**

**Chapter Ten**

* * *

_I have a feeling you guys will hate me by the end of this chapter...or at least throw tomatoes at me..but the story's not over yet.  
_

_

* * *

Tap, tap. Tap, tap. I snapped my gaze over to the window of my room, feeling anticipation and joy bubbling up in me when I saw Embry waiting just outside. Keeping my face blank, I strode over, wearing nothing but that silk nightgown, and drew the window open. Embry entered immediately, taking my hand in his large, warm, calloused one, leading me to the bed. I sat on the edge, watching him watch me. Suddenly, he claimed my lips with his, caressed my face, and leaned his forehead against mine. Embry's deep brown eyes drew me in, hypnotizing me. The room was silent, and would have been dark if it wasn't for the soft, somehow cold glow of the moon on the snow. There was a draft, and chill air swirled into the room, making me shiver. Embry pulled me into his chest, resting our bodies against the headboard of the bed. He gazed at me, speaking soft words I couldn't recall. He smiled, tipped my chin up, and captured my lips sweetly once more._

_"Embry…" I whispered against his soft lips. Embry brushed his lips against mine before opening his eyes, directly in front of mine, and smiled breathtakingly. I brought my hand up to his dark, tousled locks of hair and pulled him closer to me as we gave open-mouthed kisses, groaning into each other's mouth. Embry pulled away and kissed my forehead, the tip of my nose, and once on my collarbone before locking his arms around me like a cage. But I didn't feel restrained or imprisoned. No, I _liked_ it._

_"I love you…so much…" Embry murmured, skimming his nose along my neck, inhaling deeply as if to memorize my scent._

_"I love you, too, Em," I responded, placing urgent kisses at his jugular, trailing down onto his chest when I felt him tense under my touch, his body pulled taut._

_And that's when it turned into a nightmare. Embry looked down at me, and his eyes were black—not with lust, but there were shadows over his face, and I could barely see him now. He pulled away, backing from me, eyes trained on my movements as if expecting me to launch myself at him. He made a disgusted sound._

_"Repulsive," he spat, crossing his arms over his chest angrily, his back to the wall. He was half concealed in darkness, but I could see him shake his head. "You really thought I liked _you_? Boy, you must be _stupid_. Why _would _I? You're just a little _girl _who lost her parents to some _bloodsuckers_. You can't even control your sister—she has you wrapped around her finger! You're a suck-up, and, why would _anyone _want you? Why would anyone want a girl with a lot of emotional baggage?"_

_I shook my head, fighting back tears with all my might. The words hadn't taken full effect yet. But when they did, I would die. I felt like I was watching myself do all these things, doing them myself, but I had little actual control over how I acted. Still… I reached out to him and, though we should have been many feet away, my fingers skimmed his forearm. He recoiled as if burned, and I finally saw his eyes, wide and…I couldn't tell what emotion…but for a moment…I saw him, saw Embry like the Embry I knew. So I got to my knees on the bed and grabbed his hand, intertwining our fingers. He was on the floor, now, his free hand covering his face. Embry peeked up at me through his fingers and I saw his eyes, tormented and sad. He saw me, and backed away, but the room was no longer dark and I could see him. The air between us seemed thick and almost impermeable, and the distance between us felt like miles. Embry backed into the wall, quivering, staring at me incredulously._

_"Embry—"_

_"NO!" he shouted, shielding his eyes and ducking his head. "NO! Get OUT of my head!"_

_"Embry—?"_

_"No! NO, dammit! You made your choice!"_

_"Choice? Embry, what are you—?" I spluttered, shocked. He stared up at me somberly, his voice dead._

_"You left me. You left. And I came back."_

_A bloodcurdling screech pierced the air, and everything went black.

* * *

_I woke up in a shock, sweat drenched over my body. I threw the blanket off of my body, immediately afterward feeling the sharp cold twice as strongly. My breathing was heavy, my lungs suddenly feeling like they couldn't handle the amount of air I was forcing into them. Adrenaline pumped through my body, my heartbeat sounded magnified tenfold in the silence.

I was in the living room, where every other imprint was. Claire and Cali were sleeping on an armchair, Kim was at the end of the sofa, and Emily dozed off in the rocking armchair. The lights and television were off, with the only illumination being the moonlight that peeked through the curtains on the windows. It was even colder now than before. What time was it, anyway? I shivered and shook my head, running a hand through my hair. I still wore my black leggings tucked into my black boots—with a one-and-a-half inch heel/platform thingy—and my brown tank top. My dark gray wool sweater had slipped from my shoulders in the night, and my mittens, scarf, and knit hat were tossed aside. No wonder I was cold. A draft passed through the house, and I wrapped my arms around myself.

Why had I woken up, again? I couldn't remember, and I tried really hard to. I felt a sting of annoyance at the fact that dreams—or nightmares—were immediately forgotten within seconds of waking up. I'm sure that a nightmare woke me up. With any luck, it was just feeling like I was falling face-first that shocked me out of my slumber. Even so, I knew that wasn't the case. I still felt sick to my stomach, as well as dreadful. A tiny hook tugged at my heart, metaphorically speaking. I wanted something. I needed something. I felt like I was falling apart, like I needed to see if he was alright. In other circumstances, I would have called myself pathetic and slapped sense into myself.

The only thing that made this different from the other instances was the fact that I felt like I needed Embry right now. And he needed me. At least, I hoped so.

So I sprung up from the sofa, hurriedly grabbed my sweater and slung it over my shoulders, and quietly left the room. I headed for the back door, the one that would lead to the backyard and then the forest where I was sure he was, somewhere in there. I pried open the door as quietly as I could, keeping in mind that Brady and Collin were patrolling around the whole of La Push and could very well come back to check in on us at any moment. Poor kids—while I think that they were at least changing shifts and sleeping a tad, I still felt bad for them, having to patrol all night and then tomorrow, too.

But right now, the sympathy was shoved to the side as I stepped out into the night, all at once registering the sharp cold against my face. It was warmer inside, and that only made this cold more unbearable. I slipped my arms into my sweater and buttoned it up correctly, wrapping my arms around myself to keep warm as I trudged out into the snow, my footsteps sounding crunchy. I cringed as each step sounded boisterous to my ears. After a while, I realized it wasn't going to get any better, so I took a deep breath of the frigid air and darted into the dim forest.

It was frightening. There were no signs of animal life—it was so still. Barely a breeze came through the woods. It was freezing and dark and quiet and I was starting to panic. My heart raced frantically, and no attempt to calm down made any effect on me whatsoever. _EmbryEmbryEmbry_, my mind and heart pleaded. Not only was he a comforting presence, but he was also incredibly warm—and warm in personality and love and… I shook my head. I needed to focus.

There was a part of me, I'll admit…a part of me that wondered, _Why are you doing this? It's fruitless, anyhow. You don't know where you're going…don't know what you'll do when you get wherever you get to…and you don't even know if it's safe._

Later on, I would regret ignoring that voice.

* * *

"Ugh!"

I nearly tripped over an exposed tree root. Great. I was cranky and tired and desperate and, at the moment, just wanted to find Embry and sink into his arms, his warmth, and fall asleep peacefully. But I couldn't even do _that_, could I?

I had to be getting close to them and whatever clearing they were in—I'd been running for a while before I gave up and began hiking. I debated against using astral projection to find him, but I was a bit afraid to risk it. However, at the current moment, with possibly hours having gone by and with the threat of frostbite, I decided it couldn't hurt. I'd passed some sort of lake—actually, I think it was the coast—and sat by a tree, huddling and shivering for warmth. What would I come back to when I returned to my body? But I couldn't really worry about that now. If I didn't use astral projection to find Embry, I'd like freeze to death anyway.

So I did. And when I did, I felt completely out of sorts, but otherwise fine, if a bit heavy. It wasn't cold—but of course not; I was a mere spirit here. I closed my eyes and focused on wanting to find Embry, needing to find Embry, and I felt the scene around me shift away. When I opened my eyes, I saw two wolves walking through the forest. Ignoring the first, I kept looking after the gray one with black spots on its back. Embry. I had to fight the desire to stay like that, staring after him, by reminding myself of how cold I would be when I returned and how much colder I would get.

So my spirit self rose above the treetops and tried to find myself. Confusing? Maybe. But once I had risen far enough that I could see both myself, near the coast and mountains, and Embry, I tried to figure out which direction to take off in once I got back. I supposed they were…what? I believe they were northeast of me, so I zoomed back to my body as gently as possible. Once back, I tried to get up. Fail.

It was so cold, and even colder now that I had forgotten what temperature felt like. I needed a few minutes to gather my bearings, but each minute felt like a millennium, and each minute invited me to stay in the cold…it made me lethargic, unwilling to move, as if it was too much of an effort to make.

_But _Embry! my mind shouted. Reluctantly, but gratefully, my body began to loosen up. That is, I tried to move through the numbness and found that, with a lot of effort, I could. And within ten minutes, I was up and moving, if a bit slowly. I plodded along, making no effort to be quiet in my footfalls—not like I could, anyway.

When the energy I used to move, to try to run, was released, I warmed up, very gradually and very minutely. So I ran more, always heading northwest and hoping to encounter Embry. It was a long shot, I'll give you that. But it was all I had. At some point, I almost felt like giving up when I heard a rustle from my right.

"Embry?" I careened slightly, dazedly, and almost foolishly. A delicious aroma filled the air for a short moment, and I trudged forward. It was sweet and cool…and reminded me of the horribly sweet cotton candy popsicles I detested when I was younger.

"No, I'm afraid I'm not Embry," drawled a velvety, cold voice as a male stepped out from the woods. He was incredibly pale, and he was barefoot, wearing only a thin shirt and jeans. He had dark shaggy hair that curled up at the nape of his neck, and his lips were ruby red. His eyes were a dull crimson. For some reason, part of me wanted to swoon and get closer…and the other part wanted to flee. Who was this beautiful stranger? And what was he talking about? Something about an Embry…

Oh.

What a lousy imprint I must be to forget about my soul mate in the presence of a specimen of inhuman beauty.

And that's when I realized it. _Inhuman_. When he licked his lips, my mind shouted what my instincts had realized beforehand. _Vampire_! And even quicker came the thought that Embry, as a werewolf, and I, as a werewolf's mate, would smell horrid to vampires, right? So wouldn't he be disgusted? Or would he relish in causing a werewolf pain that could never be cured?

"Have I dazzled you so?" came the voice of the leech, now in front of me, holding my face in his hands as if I were some tasty treat to be savored. "You are quite lovely…for a human. Yet your blood calls me so…"

I screamed without provocation. Or I screamed too little too late, considering the fact that I'd spent already a minute or so in his presence. Either way, the vampire winced and covered my mouth.

"_Now _look what you have done," he grumbled, looking surly as he glanced to his left. In that instant, I saw what might once have been a teenage boy, not far from my own age. But that image fell away as he turned his flaming red eyes back to me. He lifted my chin up a centimeter with his relaxed hand—a hand that, should he be compelled to kill me, could crush my bones in an instant. I realized that. But my heart kept hammering on loudly, and I felt tears prickle the corners of my eyes though I refused to let them escape. "Well, cosset, I regret that we have to finish this later…but I really must be leaving. The cavalry's arrived."

As soon as those words escaped his lips, a set of snarls ripped throughout the woods. The vampire smirked and was gone, probably running. I dropped to the ground, shaking, barely noting the padding of paws fiercely chasing after him. I buried my face in my hands, my breath coming out in shaky gasps.

I shrieked when a warm hand lightly touched my shoulder. I looked up from my hands and saw Embry crouched beside me, his expression indiscernible. I whimpered momentarily and threw my arms around his bare shoulders, clinging to him tightly. My heart still hammered, but for a different reason now. I felt so much better and, though the shock of what had just happened was settling in, I felt so complete and so safe with Embry with me. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt myself being lifted up. I wrapped my arms around his waist and clung to him even tighter, if possible, as he began walking.

"Embry," I simpered, a tear sneaking out of the corner of my eye. He stopped immediately. I was frightened by the vampire and how close I'd actually been to dying, and it only hit me how serious that had been now. Embry sighed and rubbed my back.

"What are you _doing _here?" he asked tiredly. I frowned and bit my lip so I wouldn't start wailing. Stupid imprinting and stupid manipulation of feelings. "Jani?" His voice sounded much softer and broken now. I loosened my hold on his shoulder and pulled back only as far as I needed to see his face. Embry looked so worried. I knew my lips were quivering and I was fighting the desire to begin crying. Embry's hand came up to cup my cheek, brushing away nonexistent tears.

"I'm so sorry," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. Another sigh from Embry, and he closed his eyes, his expression somewhat passively frustrated.

"Come on," he whispered. Embry set me down. "I'll take you home."

"No!" I blurted out, grabbing onto his arm and looking up at him pleadingly. I was so much warmer in his embrace…even just around him. I didn't want to go back, with the other sleeping imprints, only for him to leave me again. I felt so much more alive, so much more relaxed in his presence. Embry looked away from my eyes for a moment, pondering. I wanted to make his stressed, worried face go back to that smiling, cool, loving, amazing one he usually wore. "Please," I whispered when he looked back at me, his eyes caught in my gaze. His resolve was broken, I thought.

"Why not?" he asked quietly, pained. His expression throughout the entire conversation had been pained…right from the beginning, when he asked me what I was doing here.

"Because I don't want you to leave again…it hurt too much." My hands slipped down to his, taking them. "Please don't leave me…"

"You can't stay out here… It's freezing."

"Not with you," I countered. Embry groaned.

"I can't protect you from a blizzard," he pointed out.

"Then come back with me," I said hopefully. Embry frowned.

"I have to patrol…"

"Please, Embry, I'm begging you!" A sense of urgency crept into my tone. "The battle thingy's not till tomorrow, right? Well, why can't you just have some wolves patrolling instead of all of them? I mean, I know the other imprints all feel miserable… Please, just talk to Sam." Embry's brows knitted together and his lips stretched thin. He shook his head, then looked down at me with an expression of submission.

"Fine," he said. "I'll have to phase to talk to Sam…and I'll have to phase anyway to take you home." He placed a lingering kiss on my forehead. "I'll be right back, and try not to get in any more danger, okay?"

Unable to contain my smile, I nodded quickly and gave him a tight hug, almost losing myself. I pressed a quick kiss to his lips—which last a few seconds longer than I'd intended, possibly because his lips were ever so warm and possibly because he was Embry—and he left to go phase with a slight grin. When he returned as the wolf-Embry, I ran up to him and buried my face in his fur, taking in his woodsy scent. I grinned as Embry lowered himself so I could get onto his back, and we were soon running off towards the house.

* * *

When I got off of wolf-Embry's back, he trotted back into the woods with a sideways glance at me. I stood outside of the house, my arms crossed over my chest.

"If you think I'm actually going to go inside without you, you're kidding yourself or the cold has gone to your brain," I called out to the surrounding forest. "I'll stay out here, in the cold, without sleeping, and possibly get sick enough to die—"

"Alright, alright, you've made your point," Embry interrupted, rushing to my side. He took my cold hands and brushed his lips over the knuckles. I smiled.

"Can you stay?" I asked softly. Embry gave me a sort of mischievous half smile and swept me up into his arms.

"Come on, let's get you in bed—er, I mean, to sleep," he corrected himself, blushing. I laughed and kissed his cheek. I noticed, only then, that he looked very much exhausted, more so than I probably did.

"Okay," I said, "but you have to stay, or else I'll just go after you again." Embry sighed, but with a smile, and rolled his eyes as we entered the house. We passed by the living room where Emily, Kim, Claire, and Cali were still sleeping. "Are the other wolves coming home?"

"Not sure. I think Sam might have to stay out a while more, because he's the Alpha, but Quil, Jared, and Seth might be."

I nodded in acknowledgement and laced my fingers through his. I led him to my bedroom and shut the door. Embry drifted to sit on the edge of the bed. He was only wearing basketball shorts, and he was still amazingly hot—warm. That never ceased to amaze me. If Embry was gonna stay here all night, I'd definitely start sweating, maybe even get a heat stroke. I was already starting to feel the warmth, and the sweat, through my winter clothes.

I walked over to my drawer, grabbed some pajamas, and headed for the bathroom without a word to Embry. I couldn't help but wonder, somewhere in the back of my mind, what he's thinking now. I changed into my pajamas as quickly and as quietly as I could. I don't think a black camisole and gray Mickey Mouse shorts should be a problem, even if the shorts, loose as they might have been, were above mid-thigh length. I brushed my teeth just for a good measure and ran a damp hand through my hair. I was freezing, but Embry could soon remedy that.

As I tiptoed back to the room, frowning at the icy floor, I opened the door to my room softly. I saw Embry's outline in the dark; he was lying back on the bed, most likely with his arms crossed behind his head, his legs dangling off the sides. That was his signature pose, I swear. I know he must have heard me enter the room, quietly close the door behind me, and walk to the bed, but he gave no indication.

"Got you!" Embry immediately grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into his chest, eliciting a shriek from me that I quickly stopped, realizing that everyone else was asleep. There was silence for a moment as we listened for signs anyone had woken, but Embry chuckled and I started giggling under my breath. I slapped his arm lightly.

"Jerk."

"Hey!" he protested, scooting back on the bed. "I resent that."

"Do you? Do you _really_?" I teased, laying down on my stomach next to him. Embry grinned his amazing, loving, bright smile. I reciprocated it.

"You know, you're gonna catch a cold in such few clothes," he mumbled as I rolled on my side. He draped an arm over my waist and pulled me flush against him, breathing in the scent of my hair.

"I won't be cold if you're by my side _all night_," I said, grinning.

"Oh, _come on_, Jani, you can't do that to me," he complained. "You _know_ I have to help out in the battle."

"I know, you're a doughty soul, and it's your duty—blah, blah, blah," I interrupted. "But it's not till tomorrow. So shut up and stay here with me."

"What if the battle were to happen during the rest of the night?" he challenged.

"It won't."

"But if it does?" I frowned. I flicked his ear.

"Don't jinx it," I said dryly. Embry rested his forehead against mine, then, and gazed into my eyes. "What are you doing?" Embry chuckled.

"Memorizing you," he answered with a grin.

"Why?"

"Just because." I rolled my eyes.

"Embry."

"Yes?" He had this sort of coy smirk, one that was so adorable and attractive that I couldn't help but wrap my arms around his shoulders, pull him down to me, and smirk.

"Just kiss me already!"

Before I'd even finished the sentence, Embry pressed his lips to mine, pulling our bodies closer together. The heat radiating off of him was unbelievable, and it felt so good. The kiss was even hotter, and sent my heart pitter-pattering. Embry's tongue slipped between my parted lips and the kiss was deepened.

I never thought I'd ever feel like this—this complete sense of elation. It was foreign, but it was completely welcome. When we broke the kiss to breathe, I pulled Embry's face to mine and smiled.

"I wish I could freeze time," I said quietly. "I would live in this moment forever."

A look of absolute adoration came onto Embry's features, and he kissed the top of my head softly. I smiled even more and snuggled into his side, burying my face in his neck. I'm not sure when I fell asleep, somewhere between Embry stroking my hair and tracing circles in the exposed flesh of my thigh.

* * *

When I woke up to the light—and I mean light—sunshine of the morning peeking out through clouds for but a moment, something felt off. I mean, I know it was supposed to be cold, but why did I feel even colder than supposed? Oh, I suppose that wearing shorts and a camisole have something to do with that. But with did it feel like I was warm until some time ago?

Oh, Embry. Did he leave? I sat up hurriedly on the bed, earning a moment of vertigo, and patted the sheets on the bed. I laid with an "Oof!" across the bed, feeling the warmth on the right side, my top, and feeling disappointed. But what did I honestly expect? Embry couldn't stay all night…he had a job to do. And suddenly, I felt disappointed that I had guilt tripped him into keeping me company. He had a battle to fight, and I wasn't helping.

I shuffled around on the bed, trying to find comfort and knowing it was useless. I'd only be comfortable if Embry were here, and since that was not an option at the moment, I'd have to endure. I got up and practically flew across the floor to the dresser, grabbing the sweater and leggings from yesterday and yanking them on. I was freezing. I shuffled over to my bed and pulled on some wool socks, and then I practically slid out of the room.

"Em?" I called.

"In here!" Emily's warm voice replied. And although that wasn't the Em to which I was referring, I was glad to hear her sound happier than she had yesterday. She was probably in the kitchen, and when I smelled eggs and bacon being cooked, I knew she was.

Kim was already seated at the counter, along with Cali and Claire who were falling asleep into their cereal bowls. Kim waved when I came into the kitchen, and Emily smiled. What surprised me, and took a moment for me to notice, was that they looked so much happier and brighter than they did yesterday. They looked warmer, and they looked less worried. I smiled wryly, noting that their imprinters must have visited them in the night. Claire and Cali probably wouldn't have had too much effects, seeing as they were still young and such, so they were dozing off in their respective cereal bowls as aforementioned.

"So, get visits from your wolfies, did you two?" I asked teasingly, noticing right off how Emily faltered in her cooking and smiled thoughtfully, and how Kim immediately went into a daydream mode. I chuckled, taking a seat next to Kim and poking her cheek until she snapped out of it. She ended up giving me a scathing look and flicking my nose in retaliation.

"Oh, stop fighting, you two," Emily said good-naturedly. "Who wants bacon and scrambled eggs?"

"I do!" Kim and I exclaimed, raising our hands. "Noo!" We tried to knock each other's hands out of the air or aside, and ending up in a playful slap-fight with little progress. Emily shook her head and served us some breakfast with juice.

"So, Emily," I said, swallowing a chuck of egg, "when did Sammy-Wammy get home to ya?"

"Well, actually, he arrived sometime around three in the morning, but I'm glad he did come then rather than later today," she replied with a soft smile.

"Because it made you less worried?"

"Sam did talk to me—assured me that they were tough wolfmen, that they would return and that worrying about me worrying wouldn't help. So I did feel better and realize I couldn't worry. I mean, I'll always be worried—but I trust Sam, you know?"

I did know. But at least Sam had returned to her of his own accord.

"And you, Kimmy-cobbler?" I poked her stomach twice and she squeaked.

"Stop poking muh tummy!" Kim whined through a mouthful of orange juice. Emily gave her a reproaching glance. Kim drank the rest of her juice and passed off the empty glass. "Sorry, Emily." She gave me a tiny glare, as if I was the cause of her being scolded, before it melted away with a giggle. "Yes, Jared did come by. Before Sam." She sighed.

"So…what?" I prodded. "C'mon, Kimmy-cake, you can't leave me hanging! I wanna know all the juicy deets—Emily, don't you _dare _leave, you're listening, too. Tell me, Kimmy-cookie, I wanna know—what did _you _do with charming, adoring Jared?"

Emily laughed. "Oh, Janiya, don't tease her too much." Kim was blushing and looking away.

"And why, may I ask, shouldn't I?" I sang, making kissy faces at Kim.

"Because you're gonna get teased right back when you and Embry start going out." Emily bumped my hip lightly and pouted as she and Kim laughed.

"Hey, who knows? Maybe they're already tying the knot," Kim ribbed. Emily smiled.

"I wouldn't be surprised, with how much time they spend together." I frowned at them, but they paid me no mind.

"And they already know they're going to be together, and we know Embry loves her," Kim added, "so if they haven't kissed then they'll probably get together soon!"

"If anything, when Embry gets back, he'll be so relieved the threat's gone, he'll probably just up and kiss her," said Emily bemusedly.

"And she'll run into his arms and kiss him back, and they'll go on to have midnight escapades—"

"You do know I'm here, right?" I interrupted, my neck heated out of embarrassment. Emily and Kim giggled and looked at me seriously, or tried to.

"Hmm… Well, judging by the blush on her cheeks, I'd say they're already together, or she really wants to be," Kim analyzed, sending a cheeky wink my way. I glowered at her.

"Will you two stop butting in on my love life—or lack thereof?" I snapped. This only made them giggle more. "Oh, shut up."

"You're _blushing_," Kim sang, poking my cheek.

"It's alright, you know," Emily added, "if you like Embry." Oh, how wrong they were. I didn't _like _Embry—I _loved _him.

"I don't—" I was cut off by Kim's snort.

"Don't even _try _to argue," she said. "You're his imprint—it's _impossible _for you to not like him. And your blushing and the way you act around him show that you really do like him, if only as a crush." Emily patted my shoulder in agreement.

"And it's fine if you like him," Emily added, "because that's how it's supposed to be. But I'm sure you know what you're doing—or, at least, you'll be smart enough to figure out what to do."

I shrugged off their statements. I loved Embry. I've already figured that out, and no one needed to guide me to that conclusion, or hold my hand. I suggested we head into the living room and watch a movie or something to pass the time—it was still pretty early morning. Kim and Emily went along with it, and we had to carry the sleep Cali and Claire over to the sofa, wiping off whatever pieces of cereal were stuck to their cheeks. Did I mention they fell asleep in their cereal bowls? I wasn't kidding.

* * *

"A-_choo_!" Sneeze after sneeze shot through me. Kim patted my back and Emily glanced sympathetically at me.

"It's only to be expected one of us would get sick," Emily sighed. "You must have gotten really cold last night. Didn't Embry see you?" I spared a glance at her over the top of my tissue. _Oh, if only you knew what had happened yesterday…You'd probably think me insane for trudging out into the snow._

"Yeah, I guess I saw him," I replied vaguely, fighting another sneeze. Stupid congestion.

Kim rolled her eyes. "Oh, _right_, but you're _not together_, so you _couldn't_ have asked for a hug to warm up, right? I doubt Embry would leave his imprint cold last night, so I'm pretty sure it was after he left that you got cold. But that's weird—he left only a few minutes before you woke up." I perked up at this news. _What? A few minutes? Well, I guess that explains why the bed was still warm…_

"I'll start on making you some soup," said Emily, heading into the kitchen. "I'm sure we could all use it, too. Oh, um, and I think it would better if you didn't get too close to Cali and Claire—just in case."

"No problem," I muttered, blowing my nose. I didn't want to get them sick—Quil and Seth would kill me, not to mention—and I didn't want to get anywhere _near _Blue's Clues, which they were currently watching. Yuck.

"I'm…just gonna head over there," Kim said, watching me warily as I blew my nose for the hundredth time. Was it my fault I was—oh, wait, it _was_. But _she _didn't know that.

"Oh, yeah, just _abandon _me, in my time of need!"

"_Please_, don't give me that," Kim scoffed. "You're tough, you'll survive."

"Not fair." Kim shrugged with a smile. I rolled my eyes and sneezed again. Great. I stood up and walked out to the porch, the icy wind biting at my cheeks as soon as I opened the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To sit on the porch."

"Jani, you're only going to get sicker!" Emily called from the kitchen.

"I won't be that long," I responded, closing the door behind me. My stupid nose was stuffy now. I sniffled and yawned, for some reason. The frigid air hurt my throat as I inhaled. I wondered why I wandered out there. Perhaps to think about things, to be in peace and quiet. It was quite pretty outside, too. Once you got past all the blinding cold, it was a winter wonderland….in the summer. That part still confused me, but I figured it was normal around here. Emily and Kim never really commented otherwise, anyway. There was a thin layer of snow on the ground and trees—not too much here. I wondered what it was like, in the forest, in the clearing, wherever the pack was.

Did the battle already start? Was anyone already hurt? Was Embry alright? I so wanted to know. I imagined Brady and Collin were still patrolling around La Push—they were too young to fight in the actual battle, and they'd had too little experience. But what about everyone else? Were they alright? We all tried to be optimistic and be sure in the pack's victory, but how were we to know whether or not they'd do well? And there were always consequences of war…or battle… Somebody would get hurt.

There was a rustling in the trees surrounding the house. I looked up. Brady and Collin, or one of them, were back. Great. Whatever food Emily was making would be devoured in an instant. I stood up and trotted forward.

"Hey, Brady? Collin?"

A wind blew a soft breeze into my face. It was within a spilt second that I knew I was stupid.

The sickly sweet, cotton-candy scent of a leech.

"Hello, darling," came the cold voice at my ear. Something like frozen metal wrapped around my body, and I noticed it was the vampire's arms. I tensed and, paralyzed, didn't dare move an inch. "You were difficult to track down…I admit. Your scent was covered by some disgusting mutt's, but no matter. Once I recognized the same scent on one of those pup at the fight, well, I knew wherever he came from was where you would be. And here you are, waiting for me."

He angled my face up towards his, inspecting me. His cold fingers felt dangerous—although he was seemingly calm now, he could pulverize my neck with a snap of his fingers.

"Yes… Lovely, aren't you? Hmm…" He trailed my neck with his nose, inhaling my scent. My lip quivered but I bit back a cry. "Ah…if only I could have your blood here…but no. That would be too messy. And she would not be pleased if I did not return to the fight. Still. Why not…unnerve those mangy mutts?" His head snapped up and a wild smirk spread over his face. He looked deranged, deadly, and psychotic.

And before I knew what was happening, he grabbed me by the neck. A flicker of danger sounded in my mind, and I went unconscious. I watched myself and the vampire from mere feet away, a growing sense of unease in my stomach. Astral projection might save me from feeling this pain, but there's no telling how I feel once I go back.

And then, the astral cord tethering me to my body snapped, sending me flying. I felt like air—weightless, breathless, and out of control. I didn't need to look back to know what had happened.

He had broken my neck. Crushed my skull.

My soul was freed from my body. And it would fade. I was dead.

* * *

**Happy New Year! ¡Feliz Año Nuevo!  
**

**The story's not over, but I'll start writing the next chapter once I get inspired. School's starting in a couple of days**—**it was a miracle I finished this, though not in the way I had thought I would... PLEASE REVIEW! It'll make me writer faster! And believe me, I think you want to know what happens in the next few chapters, especially what happens after this moment.**

**Review~**

**HunnyABee  
**


	11. Book One Playlist

**Guidance**

**Book One ~ Janiya**

**(Chapters 1 - 10)

* * *

**

**Quotes:**

_To love another you have to undertake some fragment of their destiny._

-Quentin Crisp

_Though a thousand miles apart, two lovers destined to meet are joined by a common thread._

-Ancient Chinese Proverb

_I love you. I've loved you since the first moment I saw you. I guess maybe I even loved you before I saw you._

-Michael Wilson

**

* * *

Playlist:**

**Song - Artist/Band**

_Thunder_ - BoysLikeGirls**  
**

_True Affection_ - the Blow

_Absolute Gravity_ - Snow Patrol

_That's What You Get_ - Paramore

_You Picked Me_ - A Fine Frenzy

_Heart of Mine_ - Norah Jones

_Here Beside Me_ - Hayley Westenra

_Chasing Cars_ - Snow Patrol**  
**

_The Listening _- Lights

_I Like_ - Jeremih ft. Ludacris

_Sentimental Heart_ - She & Him

_Come Down With Love_ - Allstar Weekend

_With Me _- Sum 41

_If I Die Young_ - The Band Perry

_What Do You Want From Me - _Adam Lambert

_Let Go_ - The Postmarks

* * *

**These are some songs that reminded me of this story, or that I used to write the story (only really a few), or that I thought fit in some way. **

**Nope, the story's _definitely_ not over yet! I mean, we still have _Breaking Dawn_ to write about! I'm not sure if this is a spoiler or not, but don't you think Embry's going to go through a lot of pain in the next few weeks, maybe months? (Years, decades... Losing an imprint is hard.) Poor guy. :( But, while I don't particularly love torturing Embry, I have to admit that it's _sorta_ fun to write, and doubly "fun" to feel. I like how words have so much effect on us.  
**

**REVIEW if you want to comment, GIVE IDEAS (because we know reviews sometimes do have amazing little words that might mean something totally different to the author and might give them an idea), or ask questions. (:**

**HunnyABee  
**


	12. BONUS

**Guidance**

**Bonus Filler  
**

**

* * *

**_I wrote this listening to "Mad World" by Gary Jules. It's a song that I imagine a melancholy funhouse would use._**  
**

* * *

It was like I was fading away—I forgot everything that had transpired, if anything had occurred at all. I was spiraling into darkness. Who was I? Where was I? Why was I alone?

Alone.

That word scared me. It seemed to echo in the empty space—in the nothingness that surrounded me. I couldn't feel, couldn't smell, couldn't see, couldn't taste, couldn't hear. There was nothing _to_ hear, or see, or taste, or smell, or touch. So where was I? Suspended in nothingness? For all I knew, I could have been anywhere—anyone—at any time—and not know it. For all I knew, I was dead. Alive? In between. I didn't know. I didn't care.

I felt a sort of vacuum pulling at me, making my chest tight and making my breathing labored—or, it would have, were I breathing. But I couldn't even tell. Like I said, there was nothing. So what was happening? Was my subconscious, my psyche, floating around somewhere? Obviously not—at least, not by itself. I don't think my chest would be hurting so badly if it were just my psyche on its own.

But why _was_ it hurting? Why was _I_ hurting? At the back of my mind, I felt an odd tingling, as if I was trying so hard to remember something and it was on the tip of my tongue...but I just couldn't recall whatever it was, no matter what it was, no matter how important. I needed to start at the basics.

What was my name? Name? Did I even have one? Yes, yes—I think I _did_ have one—I must have had one sometime. So what was it? It had to start with a letter... If I was thinking in...a language..._English_...and I had to think of the alphabet...which would be the Latin alphabet, if I wasn't mistaken...

_A...B...C...D...E...F_...

...so on...

_J_! My name _had_ to start with a _J_! But, for some reason, my subconscious lingered at _E_. Even so, I knew that my name didn't start with that... No, it was more of that something important started with that letter... I'd remember it some other time—I needed to, first, know _who_ I was before I could even _begin_ to work out what had been important to me. I searched my mind for answers, finding only brick walls. It felt like I was locked out of my own head. Why?

I thought about the five different vowels, occasionally six, and tried to see which one paired best with my first initial. Perhaps I'd have to keep finding this, letter by letter, until I remembered my full name. The _A_ stood out, but so did the _E_, again. Still, I doubted my name had an _E_ in it. But why was that stubborn _E_ popping up so much?

_E... J..._

_E...and J..._

_E...plus J..._

_E and J..._

Abruptly, I felt like a jolt had been sent to my brain. Embry. Where did that name come from? If it was a name at all, that is. _No_, my psyche reassured me, it _was_ a name. A name I should have known, should have...loved? I was so confused. What was going on? Panic entered me.

Only then, when the panic and fear set in, did I feel some sort of sense come back to me. In fact, it all came back to me at once, and rather shockingly. I felt like an immense gravity pulled at my bones, at my body, and was tearing me apart. I registered the feeling of my limbs, my body —I wasn't just a floating mind somewhere in the dark, I was myself.

Janiya.

* * *

I opened my eyes, seeing nothing but a faded white. Where was I? I remember—my name is Janiya... I'm fifteen, a half-Navajo, half-Quileute older sister of a seven-year-old Calindra. The name..._Embry_...still called to me. Hmm. Embry Call. It sounded...pleasant. I blushed, or it felt like I did. Feelings of giddiness spread through me. Embry. I sighed. Even in a white nothingness, I could remain content. That name...just so lovely. I didn't remember why I felt the way I did about that name... Maybe, maybe, it meant something to me—maybe that was the name of my...lover? No... Boyfriend? Closer, but...no... _Soul mate._

Yes. Soul mate. That definitely fits Embry.

Maybe I'm going insane, creating an imaginary friend named Embry. Then again, I'm in a blank space or realm with a slight case of amnesia. I think it's safe to say I passed the mark for insanity long ago.

What _happened_ to me? I'm not dead... Am I?

Oh, _think_, Janiya, _think!_ If only I could remember...

I felt an odd detachment, as if I had once been rooted to something and was now floating aimlessly...but it was a different kind of aimless floating than the one in the dark. Truthfully, I preferred this one. It felt uncomfortable, though, as if I belonged somewhere else. Yet again, my mind did a complete turn and that Embry character was brought to mind. Was he my soul mate?_ Yes, of course, I've already established this._ I was only going in circles. Soul mate. Soul mate.

Imprint.

I was an imprint. What was an imprint?

An imprint is an impression of something...in something else... Could that mean I was probably an indent in a metal beam somewhere? Maybe something equally as unattractive? I don't think so. Imprint. Imprinting.

Bonfires, forests, and beach shores at night come to mind. Why? I'm wracking my brain for all the answers, so focused on that that I don't notice when the scenery—or, rather, the blank canvas—around me changes. Colors are fading in...zooming in...focusing and becoming sharp, detailed pictures. I'm in a forest.

Why am I in a forest?

I try and see if I can move, if I can touch anything, but the tree I reach for seems to go right through me... On the contrary—_I _seem to go right through _it_... I'm not a ghost. This doesn't make sense. Yet, it does, on some subconscious level—it's all familiar to me. The words _La Push_ seem to scream at me with every "step" I take.

And with those words, an entire floodgate of words pour through my mind—and my head spins as I gather my bearings. I know what I have to do.

But as soon as I realize that, the surroundings fly past me and change. I'm no longer in La Push, my home. After the blinding white light settles and my eyes adjust, the place feels familiar. It's a bit of dusty orange...and canyons...and...

I can guess what's going on. My soul's drifting. Pretty soon, I'll be completely gone... I'll disappear. So what am I doing here? I need to find out.

I, Janiya Caldwell, am going to do all I can to return to my Embry, just like he said he would for me. After all, what's the worst that can happen—I'll die?

* * *

**Yes, I'm aware it's painfully short compared to normal chapters. But, hey, who said a BONUS chapter had to be longer than the normal ones? It's shorter, yeah, but it's for a certain reason, and not just because I couldn't think of what else to write that wouldn't be overkill.**

***This was written before chapter 11, which is in Embry's POV. But it fits with it, so it's staying this way. This is just a look into what happened when she died. Or rather, afterward. Things will be explained in later chapters.  
**


	13. Book Two, Chapter 11

**Guidance**

**Book Two ~ Embry**

**Chapter Eleven

* * *

**_And the story continues... I hope you like it. At first, it was a bit awkward starting this, but towards the end I got a bit more comfortable. It's still a bit weird, though._

_Also, it bothers me that some people have the nerve to review with audacious comments as to what they believe they know will happen. Sure, go ahead and guess—it entertains me. But don't assume you know what I'll do, and not in such a disrespectful manner.__  
_

_

* * *

__One to your left, Em!_

I leapt over the incoming leech and slashed at it, tearing its arm off with a metallic screech.

_Thanks, bro_, I thought back to Quil. How many newborns were left? Those annoying punks kept coming at us, refusing to die. Once one of us ripped one apart, another would put itself back together. It was disgusting, and we were all seething at the stinking things. The pack ripped, tore apart, and destroyed the newborns, and they'd repair quickly.

A male vampire growled at me. I snarled, baring my teeth. He looked about sixteen, but I didn't let myself focus on that. The fact that these things were once human is something that we can't take into account, something that doesn't matter when you're killing them. They're already dead, and there's no room for pity in the game. The vampire lunged at me in my moment of distraction, and I barely managed to dodge. I sunk my teeth into his shoulder, ripping the arm from its socket, and tossed it aside. Then I worked on shredding him to bits.

"Over here!" came the tinkling, somewhat annoying voice of one of the Cullens, the vampires we allied with. Alice, the psychic, I think. She'd started a fire, and some of my pack mates were already tossing pieces of vampires into there. I left one of them to deal with the pieces of leech I left.

Just as I thought that, something hard crashed into my side. I snapped my teeth at a vampire trying to get his arms around my neck to kill me. And then another attacked my other side. What _was_ this? Weren't there enough of us to take on one each? The battle had started a while ago. The vampire to my left was soon bulldozed out of the way as a Cullen, the burly one I recognized as Emmett, gleefully beat the snot of it. I nodded my thanks to him and continued the fight with the new leech until Paul decided to join in and we tore it apart and burned the pieces.

_No way…_ Through the pack mind, we all paused in our tracks as Leah—_badass Leah_—thought those words, somewhat in a quiet shock. And the mental image—what Leah saw—was even more disturbing. One of the bloodsuckers I'd lost track of earlier in the battle was grinning sadistically, carrying a body. I started forward and let out an agonized howl when the thoughts of the rest of the pack confirmed my fears.

_I want to _kill _him_, I thought coldly.

_She might be alive! You going in for the kill would hurt her!_ Quil argued. But we all knew it wasn't true. I would've heard her heartbeat. The pain ripped through me, more unbearable than anything else I'd ever felt. A knife to my heart, twisted and turned, would hurt less. Acid on my bones would burn less. An image of Janiya, my imprint, my soul mate, flashed through my mind. Then the picture was gone, leaving me to stare at the reality in front of me. I was furious. I was hell-bent on destroying that piece of shit, that fucking leech.

"Lose something?" the leech taunted. He dropped my Jani's body to the ground, and I lunged at him, not bothering with his affronts. I tore my teeth into his neck, tearing his head from his body and tossing it into the bonfire of vampires in the clearing. I tore every limb apart and into fragments, threw it into the fire, and when all was done, I felt empty. I wanted to hear his pain, make him feel the pain he caused me. But I'd already burned his head, already incinerated him, and he wouldn't yell, wouldn't feel, wouldn't kill again.

My body was shaking. If was I wasn't already a wolf, I'd explode into one. I faintly heard buzzing at the back of my mind—the rest of the pack's voices and thoughts, probably trying to find something to say, but awkwardly knowing there was nothing that could be said or done. My imprint was dead. I would've looked at her, gazed at her once more, but the pain was too much. No. Now I was furious.

I was running on autopilot as I looked around the clearing for any more vampires, any more lingering fights. I didn't even register whose fight it was. I just needed to kill, needed to destroy, needed to vent. I lunged for vampires, decapitating, ripping limb from limb, and I lost count of how many I killed. With each, my bloodlust grew. I _needed_ to settle the score. I _needed_ to get even. My mate was murdered, and they would pay tenfold.

_Embry_, a voice thundered, cutting through my thoughts. A snarl ripped through me. _Embry, you need to _calm down_._

_Easy for you to say,_ I hissed back. I was enraged, seething, and angry. All I could think about was Janiya's death, and that vampire. I could, now that I was slightly more focused, smell her blood. I could smell the blood of my soul mate, in the open air. It only made me more livid. There were leeches in the clearing. Familiar, stinking leeches. I needed to rip apart those vampires—vampires like the one that murdered my Jani.

_Embry, _stop. The voice of my Alpha, the command of my Alpha, was hard to ignore. But I growled viciously. Then he sent an image to me, one that made me stop in my tracks.

Jani. On the ground. Dead. Her eyes barely shut, rolled to the back of her head as if she was unconscious. Her neck was snapped in two, and even now her blood was painting the snow, melting it. The back of her skull was bashed in slightly, and she was crumpled in the way that a doll is when it's thrown to the ground.

I howled, and if wolves could cry, I'd be bawling. I shook the image out of my head and ran to her side, and seeing this in front of me as opposed to from Sam's mind had a bigger effect.

The love of my life was dead. My reason for living….gone.

I laid beside her body, her lifeless and likely cold body. I whimpered and whined, pawing at my eyes and trying to cover them. My tail would not wag, not ever again.

_Embry_, a voice urged me, and for a moment I thought it might have been Jani. But it wasn't. When I focused, I remembered. Leah._ You have to go. You can't stay here with her body._ She sounded sympathetic, and I knew she could feel my confusion about why she even bothered. She wasn't like that. But I guess she knew her fair share of heartbreak to know I was dying. That, and the fact that I probably would have died if I hadn't had the pack to share my pain with. And I suddenly felt guilty for broadcasting it to everyone.

_Come on, bro_, thought Quil quietly, _don't feel guilty. We all felt bad, anyway. But we gotta go. The Cullens are saying that some vampires, royalty or something, are coming. We gotta go._

I tensed. But… Jani's body… We obviously couldn't leave her… And those other vampires would notice a human body nearby, anyway…

_You…want to take her body?_

It sounded sick, but I needed closure. I still couldn't believe…I _refused_ to believe she was dead… Maybe it was a deranged, sick hope. I wasn't ready to let go of her.

_Will you ever be?_ Leah challenged softly. Every part of me, heart and soul, answered with a resounding and unanimous _no_. I still wasn't ready to let go.

_Take her,_ Quil said, a bit uncomfortable and definitely pitying me. _But you'll have to phase back. I'll take you._

I nodded and headed into the surrounding woods to phase. Once I did, I felt the pain override me. It was horrible in wolf form, but as a human it was worse. I could cry. My heart felt like it was breaking, and I was shaking so much I wasn't sure I wouldn't phase again. Tears trailed down my face. After the initial shock and pain, I felt numbness and grief. And where were the rest of the wolves? I hadn't seen Jared, Paul, Sam, Seth, or Jacob. I hadn't even heard their minds… It was only Quil and Leah I had heard. I wiped my tears, which wasn't necessary seeing as they evaporated on their own, and headed out into the clearing. I saw the rest of the Cullens look my way with somber expressions. Even Emmett, the burly one who'd happily taken one of the leeches who attacked me, looked sobered. Bella and Edward weren't here, but I was sure they would be soon enough. I saw Janiya's body, lying in the snow. I trembled for a moment before I forced myself to calm down. I picked up her body gingerly and walked into the woods where Quil and Leah were waiting, feeling a moment of detachment. I _had_ to detach myself emotionally from this…at least right now, or I'd break down.

I was so numb I barely registered having to get on Quil's back while he and Leah ran back to Emily's. When I looked up, though, I did notice something. We _weren't_ at Emily's. Why were we at Jake's house?

"I think it's better if you don't bring…her…into the house," Quil said as he came back from phasing. I frowned. He placed a hand on my shoulder. "Take your time to say goodbye. Come inside when you're okay." And then Quil turned and entered the house, looking worse for the wear. I don't know where Leah went, but I didn't see her anywhere around. I looked down at the girl in my arms and sighed sadly.

I eventually sat down, my back against the wall of the side of Jacob's garage out back. I noticed her eyes weren't closed, not completely, so that was the first thing I did. She could have been sleeping—at least, I might have been able to pretend she was if her neck wasn't broken and dried blood wasn't crusted to her clothes and skin.

"Oh, Jani…" The tears that trailed down my face didn't seem like enough to express the aching grief that filled me. I clutched her neared to me, taking in the scent of her hair one last time. "I don't think I'll ever be ready to let you go. If I could, I would do like Taha Aki—stay beside you in my wolf form, then…just disappear. When the Third Wife, his imprint, died…he laid beside her for one day, growled at anyone who tried to touch her, and then went into the forest and just…never returned.

"I wish I could… You don't know how bad it hurts. I mean, you threatened me, Jani, and said I _had_ to return to you perfectly unscathed…" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "…so where are you?" I whispered, looking up at the sky. Sun was breaking out from the clouds. It wasn't fair. A sunny day, a rarity…and Jani was dead. The world went right on…as if nothing happened. But it did. "Where are you, Jani? Why aren't you here? I should've made you promise to come back, too. But I didn't know you would… I thought you were _safe_.

"I thought you were safe," I repeated. I wasn't there to save her this time. It hit me, quite suddenly, that the vampire who had her in the clearing—it was the same vampire that had found her last night. _I should've stayed with her. I should have stayed! If I did, she probably wouldn't be dead!_

"Blaming yourself won't help, you know," said a voice. I looked up to see Leah leaning against the wall, looking forward. I didn't have the strength to say _Go away, Leah_, so I just kept quiet. "And I'm sure it's not what she would've wanted."

"Why do you think I'm blaming myself?"

"Why wouldn't you be?" she shot back passively. "You're her imprinter. That translates into protector for you, not just soul mate. And she was murdered by the very thing you're supposed to be made to kill."

I growled at her. "What do you want, Leah? To make me feel even worse?"

"Watch it, pup," she snapped, sending me a sharp look. "I'm trying to make you realize that it's not your fault. That you should really stop whining about something that wasn't in your control. And that you should take a bath because, frankly, you reek."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Just go away, Leah."

"_Look_," she snarled, coming face to face with me for a moment before backing away, "I can't say that I completely adored the brat. I'm not gonna lie. She was a little annoying." I growled under my breath. "_But_, she did earn my respect. I didn't entirely hate her. I can honestly say she was the lesser of two evils—the least annoying imprint and sometimes altogether better company than any of the pack. And I feel your pain. Obviously, not like you do. When I—Sam was someone that was hard for me to let go of. And it's worse when I know I wasn't his soul mate, wasn't good enough, and have to be reminded _every_ day.

"But even then, I know that I might find my own soul mate one day. Might get over it. Heck, I'm practically starting to get over it. But she—Jani was your imprint. The fact that you lost her, the pain you're going through right now—I have to admit, I don't think even I could have taken it. And for that, you earned my respect, too.

"Don't screw it up. I'm sure you'd lose more people's respect than just mine if you even _think_ of killing yourself."

And then, without another word, she turned and headed to the house, leaving me in stunned silence. But that was soon over. I looked down at the corpse I held in my hands—and when I realized I'd just seen Jani's body as a corpse, my heart broke further. There really was no escaping this fate, no escaping this madness. My gravity was missing.

And that was the odd part. My gravity was missing, but not completely gone. I sighed, brushing Jani's hair out of her face like I would've if she was alive. Leah was right. I had to part with the corpse. But I shouldn't ever part with her memory, her love. It hurt so much, and every second that passed made me want to break down, or even die just so I could be with her. But I knew, like Leah said, that Jani wouldn't like that. And when Leah Clearwater starts making sense, everything's run amuck.

But I have to let go, at least of her dead body. It'll only make me sadder, madder, and lonelier. I pressed a chaste kiss on her forehead, knowing I'll never get to do that again, and stand up, laying her down. I walked back to the house, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders—but it's not a bad weight, and I miss it. Sam came out of the house just as I approached, and he immediately caught my eyes. He gave me a glance that said he felt my pain, that he felt sorry for me. I didn't want his pity. But I did need a favor. I just wasn't sure how he would take it.

"Sam," I called.

"You alright, Embry?" he asked, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I gulped. What a useless question. Of course I wasn't. But now wasn't the time to lash out at him.

"You know, I don't think we're half brothers," I said instead. Sam looks at me as if I've gone crazy, but it's a pretty well contained expression. "You know, since Jani was your cousin, and I imprinted on her." Sam nodded curtly.

"If you need someone to talk to, the pack's here for you," he said.

"There is something I need," I told him, somewhat hesitantly. I took a deep breath. "Jani… I can't let her go. It's too painful. But…can you…I don't know…put her to rest? Her body…is by the garage. I can't. It's too hard for me." For a moment, I think Sam is gonna say no. He looks a bit stricken—but, of course, he always keeps his expression stoic, so it's only his eyes that show it.

"Of course." And then he turns and heads for the garage without another word. But that's Sam. I took a deep breath, feeling the gaping hole in my heart that might as well have been physically there, and headed into the house. In Jacob's living room, everyone's crowded around in their own conversations, some sad, some serious, and a couple relieved.

"Embry." Quil beckons me over quietly; he's by Jacob's bedroom door.

"What's up?" I asked, concerned. _What else could be going on? _Seconds later, I caught the scent of one of those Cullens…inside Jake's room? "What—"

"FUCK!" Jake cusses from inside his bedroom. I make a move to check it out, see why he's cussing and swearing, but Quil shakes his head.

"What happened?" I repeated.

"Leah got cocky—she took on some vampire," Quil said, "and it wasn't looking so pretty so Jake had to step in. The right side of his body's crushed." I winced, and felt a bit guilty I hadn't known this and instead wallowed in my own misery.

Jake kept cursing inside the room, his pain unbearable, I'm sure. I sighed. My imprint, gone. One of my best friends, in horrible pain. Though we'd won the battle, I couldn't help but feel like we'd lost, like I lost everything.

Maybe because I did lose everything.

* * *

The next few days went on in a dull pattern. I barely registered what happened, though I'm sure there was a bonfire to celebrate our victory over the newborns. It was completely bitter, though, without Jani. Everyone was pretty subdued, I guess, but they seemed to handle it well. They still laughed and joked around at things. Only I was really melancholy about everything, and it sucked.

It sucked even worse because the people who tried to make me feel better only annoyed me, and I ended up snapping at them. Then they just left me alone. I'm not sure which one's worse.

But the weeks went by and I only got worse. The heart wrenching pain I felt whenever I saw something, or thought of something, or noticed something that reminded me of Jani…it was unbearable. It ripped at me, and it got to the point where I couldn't even be in the same room as Emily and Sam, or Kim and Jared, or even Quil and Claire and Seth and Cali. It was too much. Seeing the imprints made me angry, too—although it was horrible to think, I sometimes wished it wasn't _my_ imprint that had to be the one to be vampire chow. And then I'd get pissed off all over again. I was worse than Paul at this point, and more bitter than Leah the Harpy.

"That's it, Embry," said Sam one day I was at Emily's house. I was sitting in a corner, looking out the window. I looked up for a moment, then went back to staring out the window. It was still painful, looking at Sam and knowing Jani was his cousin, knowing he'd been the one to lay her body to rest somewhere. He still wouldn't tell me where, even though I'd nearly driven him crazy for weeks. Abruptly, I was grabbed by the back of my neck and made to stand up.

"Hey! What's the big idea?" I growled, swiping away his hand.

"You've got to quit the depression act, Embry. You haven't been patrolling in weeks because your thoughts affect the others," Sam said. "And you've barely eaten in weeks. You're only doing more harm to yourself." I glared at him.

"What the _hell_ do you expect me to _do_?" I demanded. "I just lost my _imprint!_ My reason for living is _gone_. How the _hell_ do you expect me to get over that?"

Sam faltered for a moment. There really wasn't any way around it—there was nothing he could do, nothing _anyone_ could do. And there wasn't really any known way of coping.

I was pretty much screwed for life, and Sam knew it.

And if I ever thought about making that pain go away, obviously by shortening the time I had to endure it, the pack would kill me. Not literally, because that'd be giving me what I wanted, but still. Heck, I tried, the first week, but all that got me was lockdown and surveillance.

"I'm gonna go run around for a while," I muttered, moving around and away from them. Just as I was reaching the door, Sam stopped me with a command.

"Fine," he said. "But under my orders, you are _not to kill yourself_ and you are _not_ to run away. Understand?"

"Who knows? Maybe, if I run away, I'll find Jake," I murmured bitterly. Yeah, that's right—Jake ran away. Apparently, Bella and the leech are engaged and getting married pretty soon. And here's the funny part—them pack _let_ Jake go and run off. And here I was, mourning the death of my _imprint_, and I wasn't allowed to take two steps out of La Push. Bella wasn't even Jacob's imprint—he couldn't possibly imagine the pain. It was times like these where I kind of hated my best friend for thinking he felt the same pain I did. His was nowhere near mine.

Sam hadn't responded and I barged out of the house, ripping into my wolf form as soon as I was clear into the woods. I hated how, even though the pain of losing love had lessened in this animalistic form, the pain of losing a _mate_ was probably just as bad. Especially since I didn't spend enough time in this form to get used to it.

I vaguely felt the presence of Jacob in the back of my mind, but he would ignore me, just as I'd ignore him. He was off somewhere, spending all his time in wolf form to minimize the pain he felt over losing Bella. Too lucky for him that she wasn't his imprint—it'd hurt worse, and there would be no escape in wolf form. Damn bastard.

Jacob mentally growled at me, his thoughts not forming words. But he'd heard my own thoughts and was angry at how I was downplaying his stupid devotion for the leech lover. Excuse me if I was bitter, but I don't think it could be helped. Damn bastard was lucky it was just his first love, not his imprint. Another growl from him.

_Yeah, I said it, bastard_, I snarled back. _Feel this pain? This stupid fucking pain? That's over losing my _imprint_, my _soul mate,_ my wolf's _mate!_ Bella wasn't your damn imprint, so at least _you_ can escape the pain of losing her sometimes! And at least she's not _dead!

_She might as well be!_ he retorted acidly, and I knew it caused him pain to do so.

_Right, `cause she'll be the _enemy_, a fucking vampire!_ I snapped. _But at least she'll be moving, you bastard! And at least you can get over it after a while!_ Jacob still growled, but his thoughts quieted down. I was right, and he had no rebuttal, but he didn't like it and he definitely didn't think he'd get over Bella. Idiot.

Suddenly, I phased back, getting absolutely sick of arguing with Jacob. Once I was human, I dropped to my knees in the forest as the pain overwhelmed me again. _This_ was why I didn't phase. Every time back in one form or the other would always feel like the first, would always hurt and I'd have to get used to the pain again. I was a robot nowadays, and I didn't even recognize myself. This was getting out of hand. Jani wouldn't have wanted this…but she wouldn't have wanted to die, either.

I'd just snapped at one of my best friends, whom I've known since I was little and confused and hurt over the mystery surrounding my unknown father, who was there for me when I was getting over not having a dad by me, who accepted me back as a best friend when he'd phased into a werewolf, too. Jacob was my brother, and he shared my pain. Maybe I had it worse, but he at least knew my pain better than practically everyone else in the pack, except maybe Leah.

Leah. She was, I noted with slight shame and guilt, a bitter harpy. But she was that way because she'd lost Sam, her love, to her cousin and imprinting. She'd never recovered. I didn't want to be like her—the pack wouldn't be able to take two Leahs, and it wasn't something that was very pleasant. But, come to think of it, I'd been like a male Leah all these weeks, and maybe even worse. Jacob might've gotten some of it, but I was definitely worse than he was…

And I'd been such an ass to everyone else, too. Quil, my other best friend—I'd hated him whenever I saw him playing with Claire, his young imprint, and I was jealous that he'd had his alive when mine was taken from me. He was as much my best friend as Jake, and I'd been a bastard to him, too. And everyone else, who probably felt my pain whenever we phased—and probably felt it just because they'd grown attached to Jani—they all had to deal with me.

I trembled, crouched in the forest with my head in my hands, a naked, pitiful mess. I was miserable, maybe even more so now than before. At least I knew I had my packmates. Jani would always be on my mind…I knew. But she wouldn't want me sulking and being bitchy to everyone—that was Leah's job.

I allowed myself to lift a corner of my mouth in as close a grin as I could manage for the first time in weeks. For a moment, I felt warm. Maybe Jani was watching me from heaven—I had no doubt in my mind that she'd be an angel. A beautiful angel. I could almost see her, smiling at me, in my mind.

And for that moment, I was as close to happy as I'd been in nearly a month. Jani would want me to at least be happy in her memory…right? So I pictured her beautiful face, her dark curls framing it, and her lips pulled into a loose, content grin. Maybe she wasn't real, not in any daydreams I'd have, but she was real in my memory and in my heart. Maybe that could be enough, at least for a while…

I got up and phased, feeling a bit queasy, but enlightened. I'd had my epiphany. Now I just needed to apologize.

Again I felt Jacob's mind at the back of mine, and I know he registered my thoughts again. This time, he stopped with a trace of confusion, not sure what to make of my attitude change.

_Sorry, Jake,_ I said, maybe a bit reluctantly, but I did mean it. I was a whiny bitch. I lost my Jani, but I needed to have my friends, at least, close, and all I'd been doing was pushing them away. Jacob's thoughts were indiscernible, but at least it was something different from the usual anger or grief that overwhelmed him. I showed him my memory, my thoughts from only moments before, and he understood. I began running back to Emily's house, noticing how far I'd run away from it in the first place without knowing.

Jacob's thoughts were mostly silent, which I found odd, but I guess being wolf form makes you think more with your eyes and feelings than with words. I did register the feeling of acceptance, though. He forgave me, and apologized, himself. Which I forgave.

_You know…_ he began, _you have a point… I mean… I'm sorry, dude. I guess it _is_ worse for you. But Bella_—

_Yeah, I know, and I'm sorry, too,_ I interrupted. Bella was a lot, and I'd come to know that over the past months because of Jacob's constant thinking of her, adoring and worshiping of her.

It was quiet for a few more moments, nothing but the sound of the wind and my paws padding the earth as I neared Emily's house, where the pack was. It was, I realized, the first time I noticed my surroundings as I ran since _that day_. I guess it was better for me. It was bitter, keeping her only in my memory, but I needed to try and heal. The pack could help me, and maybe I'd let them this time.

… I could actually feel Jacob's speechlessness as he thought it over, with feelings, silently. _…you know, I think you're right, Em…_ He sighed.

_About?_ I asked.

_I need to get back… Being by myself isn't going to help, not this time… The pack will help, right? And we're both heartbroken werewolf best friends, so we'll help each other through it, right?_ He sounded a bit anxious, and back to sad.

_Definitely_. I slowed my pace as I neared the house. I stopped at the edge of the forest. _So you're coming back?_ Jacob hesitated in his answer.

_Yeah. I'm coming back._

* * *

I hesitated only a moment outside the door before barging in, maybe a bit more politely than that sounds. When I entered, whatever sounds of talking going on had stopped, and the pack looked up at me. Stony gazes, all of them, some impossibly more sympathetic than others. Maybe that's just because those were the faces I _hoped_ were sympathetic instead of entirely angry. I looked up towards Sam, who kept an impassive front.

"I'm sorry," I said. The atmosphere in the room changed perceptively. Everyone's masks slipped, at least somewhat. I focused on Sam, who'd yet to show any trace of emotion—like usual—but whose eyes said he was listening. "I'm sorry—to all of you—for acting like…a little bitch, for lack of a better word. It was just…difficult. But I probably shouldn't have taken it out on you." I hung my head, suddenly afraid of their reactions. Now that I didn't have my anger to hide behind, I felt very vulnerable. I hated that feeling of vulnerability.

A hand clapped my back and my head snapped up. Sam. He let himself smile, sort of, and nodded.

"We understand. It isn't easy, losing—well, we understand." I nodded blankly, looking over at the rest of the wolves. Some of them didn't really mind one way or the other—they just looked a little relieved not to have to deal with the cranky Embry they'd seen the past few weeks. Others, like Jared, Quil, and Seth, knew my pain and felt pity, I'm sure. Quil offered a weak smile. Leah, on the other hand, narrowed her eyes minutely. I wasn't sure whether she was pissed off, or what, and I didn't really care what she was thinking at the moment—though I did wonder. Maybe she was pissed off that someone who lost their soul mate had stopped being bitter to the pack when she, who hadn't lost her imprint, was still a harpy. Either way, I felt sympathy for both her and I.

"We'll help you," said a voice to my left. Quil. I nodded again.

"Jacob's coming back," I blurted out. This received exclamations from everyone.

"What? He's coming back?" I nodded, _again_, to Quil's question. "How—?"

"Let's just say, we both had a bit of a wake-up call."

* * *

It was one of _those _days again. The days where it seems like life's just dragging on. I was sitting by the cliff again, my legs hanging over the edge, staring out at the churning ocean below. It was times like these that the pack left me alone. I might have apologized, and I might have realized it was only worse if I dwelled on the subject too much, but that didn't keep the hurt away. With each day, my longing for Jani grew worse and worse. At times, I would just block out all feeling, all emotion, all thought. It was easier. Less painful. But the numbness didn't make it any better, either.

Sometimes, I would dream. Jani would be there, and we would experience things we'd never gotten to. Once I even dreamt up how our wedding might've been. That made me feel even worse for a while. I spent most of my days in silence, or sleeping, where I could dream and relive memories of us. It sounds pathetic, and it sounds like something stereotypically only lovesick girls would do—but I couldn't find the will to care.

I missed Jani.

And Jacob was on his way back today, apparently having decided that he needed to see Bella one last time before she was turned into a bloodsucker—which we all knew was coming eventually. She and the leech—Edward—were getting married today. That's probably why I'd dreamt of Jani's and my wedding, how it might've been if we'd been given the chance to have one. I had to get my mind off things like that, though.

I stood up, overlooking the cliff and the frigid waves below. I wouldn't be able to feel the temperature, though—not like Jani could…

I reared back, then launched myself off the cliff. I arched into a swan dive, albeit a messy one. Quick as lightning, I cut through the water, plunging into the salty waves. For a moment, I faintly felt the sting of the impact, but it faded as soon as it came. I lingered under the surface of the water until my lungs burned, then hurriedly swam up to get air.

I swam to shore, then headed over to where I saw Emily, Kim, and Sue setting up tables and stuff. Some of the pack were around, too, placing logs and getting things ready for a bonfire we were having later on today. It was supposed to be a _Congrats on coming to your senses!_ party for Jacob, and I guess for me, too. It was more than that, though. It was them showing us that they were here for us, and that they wanted us to get better. But while Jacob still has a solution, I don't.

Still, I probably shouldn't linger on that. My subconscious wants to, though, but I know I really shouldn't.

"Embry, can you help us out here?" Emily asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What do you want me to do?" She and Kim were placing tablecloths over the few tables that were there. "And aren't you missing some tables?"

"That's what I need you to go get," Emily answered, spreading the plastic cover. She looked towards me, her scarred face, yet kind expression. "Can you go get a few more tables from the house? Oh, and bring the bags of chips, please, _unopened_."

"Sure, Em," I replied. She dropped the keys to Sam's truck in my hands.

"Don't open any of the bags of chips," she instructed, her expression fierce. "I'll know if you take any, because I counted them."

"Alright, alright," I muttered, raising my hands defensively. I offered a slight smile, though it felt fake, and headed towards where she always parked Sam's truck when there was a bonfire. Once at the wheel, I drove the black pickup to Emily's house, grabbed some tables from the shed in the backyard, and went into the house, straight for the kitchen. Sure enough, there were plastic bags full of bags of chips. I made a move for them, remembering that I couldn't open any. Not like I'd really have much of an appetite for it anymore. I wasn't eating as much as I used to since…well, yeah.

It was pretty quiet at Emily's house, for once. I guess because nobody was here, besides me, that is.

Just as I thought that, a door opened—the back door, I'm guessing—and there were frantic sounds of surprise and pain. I couldn't really distinguish them, but I stayed silent and immobile. Then I heard what they were saying, just as the door slammed shut.

"Are you okay? God, I'm sorry! I didn't mean—I mean, it's not like it's my fault, you know, but still."

That was Leah's voice. But who the heck would she be talking to like that? Not Seth—not anyone else in the pack. I made to move forward to find out when the other voice—the one who was panting and writhing in pain—spoke.

"Don't worry, Leah. I'll heal pretty quickly. It just hurts for now, but I'll be fine."

Every nerve in my body was alert and at attention. The hairs on the back of my neck rose, and a shiver ran down my spine. That voice…was feminine. I thudded towards the sound, to the living room where they now were, without caring that I was making my presence known.

Leah and her visitor looked up, and instantly I caught sight of—of someone who should've been dead.

"Jani!"

* * *

**Alright, cliffy time!**

**Honestly, I'm not too happy with this chapter... I need to get into the mindset that is Embry, and I felt like this didn't do it justice... Those weeks without her were painful, and I felt like this was seriously downplayed... But whatever.**

**Is Jani back? What's going on? Why was "she" (if she's back) with Leah? What happened? HOW is she back (if it's even her)? Will Emily ever get those chips?**

**Review(:**

**~HunnyABee**

**[special thanks to Jazzy, who PMed me and actually motivated/inspired some of this]  
**


	14. Chapter 12

**Guidance**

* * *

_**Previously:**_

_"Don't worry, Leah. I'll heal pretty quickly. It just hurts for now, but I'll be fine."_

_Every nerve in my body was alert and at attention. The hairs on the back of my neck rose, and a shiver ran down my spine. That voice…was feminine. I thudded towards the sound, to the living room where they now were, without caring that I was making my presence known._

_Leah and her visitor looked up, and instantly I caught sight of—of someone who should've been dead._

_"Jani!"_

* * *

**Chapter 12**

* * *

It was a split-second analysis of her condition that made me furious. Forget the fact that she was supposedly dead, that I suffered for weeks, that she was inexplicably here. Her dark and wavy brown hair was matted with dirt and sweat and _blood_. She was barefoot, wearing tattered clothes, which, along with herself, were caked with blood and dirt and leaves. I wasn't even sure where the blood came from at that point—it had stopped flowing, at any rate. But the smell of it was in the air, in my mind.

Then there was Leah. She had been supporting Jani when they came in and, when I remembered that, I also remembered what they had spoken. I directed a growl at Leah, now knowing that_ she_ had something to do with this. Ignore the fact that Leah didn't seem a bit surprised Jani was back—she had hurt her. And this couldn't go unpunished.

"Embry, stop it," Jani snapped, bringing me out of my haze. I turned my eyes to hers, feeling something inside me seem to come alive. Even if it _was_ angry. Jani gave me a sort of sharp look. She was _defending_ Leah? Defending _Leah?_ I glared back to Leah, who matched my look and even snarled. Jani placed a hand on her arm. "Leah, quit it, it's not worth it."

I snapped. I turned and stormed out of the house, heading straight for the woods, but exploding into wolf before I made it. Whatever. My chest hurt the farther I got from the house, so I stayed reasonably close. There was no doubt in my mind that it was Jani.

But she was so cold. What the _hell_ had made her like that? Leah? I snarled and swiped my paws and sharp claws at tree trunks as I went, tearing bark from the trees. She had glared at me. Jani had narrowed her eyes at me. She looked defiant. She looked strong. Angry.

Hateful.

She had a right to be. I let her freaking _die_ and failed her as a protector. And that, above all else, made me angry as heck. In fact, I wanted myself to suffer for letting her die. _I_ should have died in her place. There was no doubt that she _had_ died—at least, I didn't think so. I didn't care how she was alive, just that I had failed her and made her have to come back by her own.

I stopped, my mind pausing to digest all this information. She _had_ died, hadn't she? Yes, she had—that corpse was real as anything. More so. The question was, how did she get back? She _was_ alive, wasn't she? Certainly looked like it. But how? Things like that were impossible.

_But so are werewolves and vampires._

My mind swirled with all these thoughts, conflicting and otherwise. I was dizzy and confused, so I tried to get my mind in order. That had definitely been Jani in Emily's living room—Jani, my imprint, my soul mate, my love. And she had definitely seemed alive.

So I gave a wolfy smile, and the pain and pressure that had been in my body for these few weeks lightened, just a tad. My baby, my girl, my love, my imprint—she was alive! I pushed out thoughts that told me I could've just imagined the entire scene. I needed to cling to this fragile shard of hope I had. I couldn't hope to begin to understand or dream up ways she could possibly be back. But the fact that she _was_ back, now that I took that into my mind, made me yearn for her even more than I had for the past month. I didn't think that was possible. Yet, being only yards away from her, the pull was so much stronger, so much harder to resist.

There were conflicts, too, though. Would she still love me? She was cold in the living room… Not very much the Jani I had last seen. Then again, I was not exactly the same Embry she had known, either. Would she ever forgive me for letting her down? Would she ever trust me again? Part of me cringed at what the practical, self-sacrificing me suggested. Maybe I should stay away. Maybe it would be better for her. She could move on—find someone who could protect her like I couldn't. It was a disappointment that would haunt me forever.

Jani had always joked around with Paul—maybe he would be better. He was the best fighter of us all. He could take on any vampire. He could protect her.

The wolf in me—the wolf whose form I occupied—snarled and slashed at more trees in fury. I did _not _want Jani with Paul. He had a bad temper, anyways, and would end up hurting her with that and his chauvinistic ways. No. I didn't want Jani with anyone but me. Was that fair? No. Not really. Nothing better could be expected of me, though. She _was _my imprint. Although that was supposed to make her good for me, make _me_ perfect for _her_, it was like a death sentence. She was _forced _to be with me, when she could do so much better—find someone safe, someone who could protect her.

I felt like I knew nothing about Janiya anymore. I felt like she was a stranger—I did not recognize her anymore. Not just her appearance—her persona seemed entirely different. I would not be able to know if she would want me or not, or if she would approve of this or not. Either way, Janiya was going to find herself a better…boyfriend…even if I had to force her to do so. I needed to give her space—I needed to stay away, for her own good.

_Maybe I could just go see her…talk to her…and say goodbye…just a little…_

I couldn't risk seeing her, indulging in her presence. I might get selfish—I might want to stay with her forever. Jani didn't deserve that—she needed better. I had to keep telling myself that. Every fiber of my being protested against the idea, but it seemed to me the most practical or logical. Then again, after the month I've had, I doubt I was the best judge of what was rational or not.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts of Jani before they, along with the pain, overwhelmed me. I tried to think of anything that might be happening now, unrelated to her and Leah. As soon as I was struggling, someone phased and interrupted my thoughts. I focused on them, ignoring the thoughts I had. It was Sam and Quil. They were watching Jacob, making sure he didn't do anything stupid. Why? Where was he?

_Bella's wedding,_ Quil answered._ Seth's with us, too, but in human form. _

_What's going on, Embry?_ Sam asked, noticing my frenzied thoughts and that I was trying so very hard not to think of something.

_Nothing_, I replied, struggling to silence my mind. I focused on my surroundings. _Leaf. Rock. Tree. Plant-whose-name-I-forget._

_Embry_, Quil interrupted my random train of thought, exasperated. _That's distracting. We actually have to keep Jake from killing the guests, you know? There's, like, some other vampires from—where was it?—Alaska?_

_Embry, weren't you supposed to be helping Emily with something?_ Sam questioned. Crap-in-a-bucket—that's right. The tables. And chips. How did he know that?

_Yeah, I'll be getting there soon,_ I murmured. _Does Jake know he's having a party? _

_Not that we know of._

I mentally nodded and phased back. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts. What was going on? How was Jani impossibly back? She did die, didn't she? So how was she back? Maybe she was astral projecting or something. But she looked so solid, so real. And she wouldn't have been so bloody and dirty if she was a projection. Besides, didn't she once say that she would fade away and couldn't project if she was dead? The questions swam in my mind, each more perplexing than the last. They were like bees—no, they were wasps, stinging me repeatedly with the same frustrating questions. They refused to die.

So what was I supposed to do? Think, Embry, think!

I guess, before I did anything else, I had to get the tables and chips for Emily. She'd probably be pissed off that I hadn't brought them yet. But I had a good reason. So as I ran back, naked, human, to Emily's house, hoping I could find a pair of shorts or something outside, I took my time and thought about what to do once there. If Jani and Leah were still there, I would have to probably avoid them as best I could. That would be hard, because the closer I got to the house, the stronger the connection between Jani and I pulled at me, no matter how much I stalled. I tried to force down all the yearning for her. It was practically impossible.

So here I was now, in the woods outside Emily's house, searching the trunks for spare shorts. I almost ran the entire perimeter without finding any.

"Oh, _come on_, there's _got _to be at least _one_," I muttered, running a hand through my hair exasperatedly.

"You mean one of these?"

My heart hammered in my chest and I felt the urge to run—whether _to_ her or _away_ from her, I didn't know. I warily looked over my shoulder, finding Jani standing akimbo, a pair of navy cutoff sweats dangling from her fingers. I had to turn towards her, and I reached for them, but she moved back, her face stoic. It was odd. Here she was, after being missing or dead or something for nearly a month, and I was so off-balance. I think heat flooded my face when I realized I was nude in front of her, but she didn't blink an eyelash. What was going on? She wasn't like this—what had happened to her?

"Jani? Um. Can I have the pants?" I asked hesitantly. Jani frowned. I winced at the same time. Was she displeased with me? What did I do?

"Take 'em," she replied, tossing them to me, almost like dropping them. Somewhat embarrassedly, I turned my back and slipped them on, feeling at least a little better now that I was clothed, at least normally. Now that I was less concerned with my…um…appearance, I took the time to look over Jani. She was standing strong, and she no longer had dirt and blood coating her like a second skin. Her dark hair was clean and braided back, longer than I remember as it grazed her hip. Her skin was tanner than I remembered, too, and her eyes were sharp. She was wearing a ripped-under-the-bust tank top and cutoff sweatpants I figured were once Leah's—and, I noticed, she'd grown a few inches in height. How the heck? She was _dead_—I still couldn't wrap my head around this. It terrified me, yet I loved it. Standing in front of her now, my heart raced, hammering in my chest, and my muscles were tensed. I was nervous. Anxious. _Excited._ There was something different about her. Something stronger, wilder. Something dangerous.

I had to grudgingly admit to myself, ignoring the gravity of the situation, that it was hot.

"Well?" Jani said expectantly. I didn't get it. What did she expect?

"We need to talk." I frowned.

"No kidding."

"Jani, I'm _so _sorry," I whispered, taking a step towards her. She made no inclination to move, and nothing in her facial expression showed that she heard me, though her eyes were boring into mine. "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. It was my fault. I just—I was weak, and I failed you. I'm so sorry—like you'll never believe."

I hung my head, unable to look up at her any longer. But I really, _really _wanted to. I missed her unbelievably so. I ached to have her by my side. My heart wanted her. My body wanted her. My mind _needed _her. _I_ needed her. I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, and when I raised my head and saw Jani's face so close to my own, I almost had a heart attack—a good one, if there is such a thing. But she was so close. It only made me want her even more. I still needed to settle things—was she alive or wasn't she? Did she die or didn't she?

I barely noticed when her lips pressed against my forehead, lingering only a second, leaving a burning spot. She was warm—how was that possible? The list of inexplicable things only grew more and more with each passing moment. Jani stared at me, her mask still on but her eyes holding a flicker of emotion.

"There's nothing to apologize for," she said. I almost groaned internally. I got her killed, and she said there was nothing to apologize for? At least _some _things never change.

"But—"

"A lot's happened in a short amount of time, Embry." Hearing her speak my name did weird things to me. I thought my heart pounded against my chest before—now, it practically shattered my rib cage. I clenched my fists to keep my hands from reaching for her. I bit my lip to keep myself from kissing her breathless.

I didn't know her that way anymore. And it killed me to think that.

"Jani, I love you," I blurted. Her eyes widened a fraction—the first hint of emotion I'd seen on her face today. For a moment, it looked like she was struggling with something.

Then she moved back minutely—I felt a sting of rejection. It happened so fast I didn't notice when she pressed her lips to mine and immediately pulled away and started running into the forest. I was still lost in my stupor as I pressed my fingertips to my lips, unsure about whether to felt overjoyed or depressed. Everything was hot and cold now.

And then I remembered Jani ran into the forest. I was up and running after her as fast as I could.

* * *

"Jani! Where _are _you?" I called out. Where could she have _possibly _gone? I kept following her scent, but it was so much more difficult than it would be if I was phased. But I didn't want to phase. Not to hear my brothers' voices, not to be unable to communicate with Jani once I found her. I heard rustling from ahead, so I ran to catch up with whatever it was. "Jani, _please_! What did I do? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry, alright!"

"You didn't hurt me," said a quick voice to my left. I snapped my gaze upward, where Jani was perched on a tree branch a few yards from the ground. She kept a stoic expression, but there was a crease between her brows that betrayed her discomfort—or confusion—or _something_. Jani was crouched on the branch, on the balls of her feet, with one hand gripping the bark under her. I took a few steps forward. She could fall—she could kill herself—_again_.

"Jani, what's going on? How did you get up there? Are you okay?"

"Embry, _stop_," she said. "I can't." Jani sighed. I continued forward, reaching the truck of the tree and looking up at her from the ground.

"Can't _what_?" I asked, getting a grip on the bark as I began to climb the tree.

"Embry, _no_—stay _away_—" Her voice trailed off, quivering. I knew she was about to break. That hurt me, a lot, but I also knew she did not really mean that she wanted me to leave. She loved me—and she told me she would love me forever. Why would now be any different? I didn't care about the details right now. I just needed to have _her_. So I climbed on up until I was sitting on the branch, only inches away from Jani, and she was looking down at the ground, her face contorted in sadness.

"Tell me," I said softly. "What's wrong? You don't look happy. I don't like you being not happy." I reached out my hand to her, and Jani looked at me out of the corner of her eye. She sighed again. Then she turned her body slightly, facing me, and frowned.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. My brows furrowed in confusion. What did _she _have to be sorry for? And then there were tears—Jani was crying. I reached for her and she nearly flew into my chest with surprising strength, her closed hands resting on my chest. She sobbed silently, and I wrapped my arms around her, relishing in the feel of having her with me, in my arms—having her _home_.

"Shh, baby, shh," I murmured, rubbing her back. I placed kisses on her forehead, on her cheeks—trying to make the pain go away. But that was kind of hard to do when I didn't know what was bothering her, where the pain was coming from.

"I'm so sorry, Embry," she breathed, looking up into my eyes abruptly. "I had to do it—they couldn't just…" And then she started shaking with repressed sobs. I felt a surge of anger. Who was _they_? I pulled her face up, gently, to look at me.

"Listen, Jani, it's okay…it'll be alright," I reassured her. "Tell me what's wrong." Jani trembled, then shook her head. "Ja—"

"No, Embry," she said, wiping her eyes. "I have to tell you all at the same time."_ All? Who did she mean by—oh, the pack._ I nodded. Hopefully, I would get some answers. I was so confused by all of Jani's actions, and even more by her appearance. This was giving me a headache. I loved Jani, though, so much so that I would tolerate all this befuddlement just to hold her as I did now. I felt happy, in some weird way, and _complete_—for the first time in what felt like years. I hugged her tight to me and just focused on her breathing. She didn't argue. I breathed in her scent—it had changed… Another question to add to my list. But I was not going to think about them now—I just needed to focus on my imprint, my Jani. She was alive.

"What was that with Leah?" I asked her softly, running my fingers through her hair. I felt Jani tense in my arms.

"That's…part of what I need to tell you," she answered. "Leah kind of…caught me, earlier today. It was just her, so she's the only one here who knows."

"_Caught _you?" I was taken aback. It was pointless to even question these kinds of things in my head anymore. There were too many questions to keep track of.

"It'll make sense when I explain."

"When are you going to explain?"

"When everyone's together."

"_Everyone _meaning the pack?"

"Yes."

"Then we can go see them right now," I informed her. She suddenly looked nervous. I smiled at her, placing a kiss on her forehead. "It's nothing. There was going to be a small bonfire or something because Jacob returned and—"

"Jacob _returned_? Where's he been?"

"Well…he kind of ran away."

"_Why_?" she demanded, her tone fierce. It bothered me just a bit that she reacted this strongly to Jake's leaving. "Don't tell me—_Bella-bitch?_"

My mouth dropped open a little at the sound of the swear word rolling off her tongue as if it were nothing. Jani must have noticed, because she faintly blushed and excused herself.

"Yeah. Her."

"I knew she was gonna break him one day, didn't I?" Jani insisted, eyes fiery. "I _told _him, and what happened? Ugh. What'd she do now?"

"Long story short, she admitted she loved Jacob. But she's marrying—or, actually, probably already married—the bloodsucker today."

"That b—" Jani cut herself off. I had to admit, there were still so many things about this Jani that I was surprised by, and I was sure there were going to be even more. "I mean, that two-timing airhead! What's _wrong _with her?"

"Can we not talk about Jacob's messed up love life?" I deadpanned. Jani flinched at my tone. I sighed and played with her braided hair. It was getting wild and slipping out of its order. She still looked tantalizing, regardless. In fact, she probably looked even more amazing like this, all wild, than she would if her braid was perfectly neat.

"Sorry," she murmured. Then she shuffled out of my arms, and I began to panic.

"What are you doing?"

"Um, getting down?" She dropped from the branch, from my arms, to the ground below, landing in a crouch with a faint _thud_. Another question. I dropped to the ground, too, and followed her silently as she walked through the forest again, heading back to Emily's house.

_Crap! Emily! I forgot the tables and chips!

* * *

_

I watched as Jani fluttered around, pacing back and forth. She was beautiful. Something had changed in her, but she was stronger. She was lovely. I found myself captivated by her more and more now that she was back.

"Embry?" She snapped her fingers in front of me.

"Huh?" Jani gave me a whimsical smirk.

"Funny. I asked if you think it's a good idea to just barge in on festivities like that."

"Hey, there's more to celebrate once they find out you're back," I told her, moving to stand behind her, my hands on her waist. Again, Jani tensed before she let herself relax. It bothered me a little, but I let it go.

"Then we'd better go before it gets dark," she said.

"I agree."

Neither or us moved, trapped in this moment. But we had to. She broke away from my embrace and headed outside. I went into the kitchen to grab the multitude of bags of chips that _should _have been at the bonfire long ago, only to find that they were gone. Leah's scent was here, so I was pretty sure she took them to the bonfire. Unlike some of the guys, she wouldn't really keep it all to herself because she was a werewolf with a massive hunger.

If she took the chips and tables, that means she took the truck. Great. But at least I would have a bit more time alone with Jani until she had to spill her guts to the entire pack. Maybe I could learn something about where she was. The questions burned in the back of my brain, and I really wanted to know where my angel had been.

Jani was outside, in the shadow of a tree in front of Emily's house. As I thought, the truck was gone. We would have to walk. Jani lifted away from the trunk and started off in the direction of the beach, as if she already knew where she was going. She might. I caught up with her and kept to her side, my hand reaching for hers.

But for some reason, I felt like I shouldn't. Like she didn't _want _me to take her hand. And those doubts alone were what kept me from doing so. Pathetic, I know. We walked the whole way in silence—somewhat tense, somewhat awkward, as if we had known each other days rather than the way we did.

When we got to the beach, it was a little before the sun set, meaning there was some light out. The bonfire was already up and roaring, though, and the pack was gathered around the food and eating standing up, just chatting. I immediately saw Jacob sitting alone on a log, glaring into the bonfire with his hands clenched tightly, his jaw set. Something went wrong. Moody Jacob was back. Now that Jani was near me again, I felt like I couldn't connect with how he felt anymore. I'd talk to him later, though. I took Jani's hand in mine suddenly and locked down at her just as her gaze snapped up to me in surprise.

"I'm so glad you're back," I whispered, brushing my lips across hers. She tried to smile, but I could see that it pained her. Why?

"So am I," she said. I smiled and led her to the bonfire, determined, but with a bundle of nerves in my stomach. The pack, and the other imprints, as well as some other people like Billy and Sue, were all eating and enjoying themselves. I saw Leah sitting with her back to a log—it was hard _not _to notice her; she was staring intently in our direction with an indiscernible mask.

The havoc began when people began noticing. As we approached, some werewolves looked up curiously, probably at Jani's and my scents being wafted in their direction by the light breeze. Some of them froze, and others had shocked expressions. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but there was a clamor in an instant and everyone's eyes were trained on us. Jani shifted nervously beside me as we stood in front of the others. They all openly stared at her. No one seemed to want to begin the conversation—it was silent. I saw Jacob glance over from his log out of the corner of my eye.

"…Embry…?" My gaze snapped to the voice—Quil. He was looking between Jani and I with an incredulous look. "What—? How—? Is—?" he stuttered.

Sam pushed through the pack and stood at the front, as the Alpha, directly across from us. He immediately looked to Jani, his eyes widening the slightest. He took a small step forward, and Jani ran and hugged him around the waist. Sam lifted the corner of his mouth slightly as he embraced her back. I frowned as I closed my hand, the one that Jani had let go of, bitterly.

"What is this?" Sam muttered. "You're—you can't be—"

"I know you buried me, Sam," she said, pulling out of the embrace with her cousin. Jani had a small, wry smile on her features. "Thank you. It was…very respectful." I winced. I felt like a ton of lead was dropped inside of me. A heavy weight burdened my heart for the moment—I should have been there when her body was buried. But I was too unstable…I still should've been there, though.

"How are you here? Is this _you_—are you alive?" Sam inquired. Jani bit her lip momentarily. She nodded.

"I am alive," she answered, somewhat blankly. "I am alive again."

"How?" He paused. "You—no, that's ridiculous. You're not a vampire. You're too warm—but…" You could practically see the gears turning in Sam's mind as he tried to work this all out. It was practically impossible, though. We didn't know _anything_. That bugged me.

"Jani, it's explanation time," I said.

"So that really _is _Jani?" called a voice. Suddenly, Jani was tackled by a little girl, who clung to her in silence. Tears ran down her face as Jani crouched down and placed a hand on the little girl's cheek. She smiled sadly and hugged her, wrapping her arms around the younger girl. That was Cali, Calindra, Jani's little sister. I'd practically forgotten her. I looked around for her werewolf companion—Seth, who had imprinted on her—and found him beaming as his imprint reunited with her sister. Cali was smiling, true, but for how long?

"Yep, that's Jani," Seth said as he crouched down, too, near Cali. He looked up at Jani for a moment. "Right? You _are _Jani?"

"She is," I supplied for her, and my lovely imprint glanced back at me before turning again to her little sister.

"Cali, honey, I'll see you in a short while—I have to talk to the big boys, got it?" Jani cooed to Cali. It caught me off guard for a moment—I'd never really seen Jani like this. She hadn't acted like that to Cali before—never that motherly, but like a sister. This image, this moment—it surprised me.

"Come on, Cal, let's go talk to Emily and Kim," Seth prompted. Calindra hesitated—she clearly wanted to be with her sister—but she eventually gave in as Seth carried her away. I could see them walk over to the other imprints, where Emily and Kim were watching earnestly.

"So?" Sam asked, managing to sound more respectful than impatient and curious. Jani turned back to him, but she was bit more rigid than I'd ever seen her. She looked like she was opposing all of us, like we were from an enemy tribe or something.

"Come on, Pipsqueak, no need to be shy," Paul called arrogantly, grinning. Jani shot him a sharp look and bared her teeth before catching herself in the act. There was a moment of confusion—what was _that?_

"Jani?" I whispered. She tried not to look at me, but I could tell she was panicking on the inside. I took her hand slowly and reassuringly. "Tell us the whole story, Jani," I prompted. The curiosity burned at me. Her eyes flickered around the now circle of werewolves around us; she was frantic. Jani blurted out one statement in her panic.

"I'm a werewolf!"

* * *

**I have issues with this chapter... But on the whole, it's alright. I hope you enjoy it. The next one brings answers, which I know you all are probably frustrated about. I know, I know, sorry!**

**I'd love to thank my amazing reviewers. You know who you are. ESPECIALLY those who review every chapter or so. I loooove you guys the most, because I know I can count on your words of motivation.**

**Oh, and go ahead and review. As much as I love being favorite- and alert-added, reviews are probably more of a help because they give ideas, even if it's just your opinion of what happened. It helps give me a sense of what you take from the story and what you'd like or not.**

**~HunnyABee**

**PS: Some really good fanfics I've read lately include wolf-grl2008's _Broken on the Inside_, which is an EmbryOC, and _Coming Home_, which is a SethOC.  
**


	15. Chapter 13

**Guidance**

**Chapter 13**

* * *

_**Previously:**_

_"Come on, Pipsqueak, no need to be shy," Paul called arrogantly, grinning. Jani shot him a sharp look and bared her teeth before catching herself in the act. There was a moment of confusion—what was that?_

_"Jani?" I whispered. She tried not to look at me, but I could tell she was panicking on the inside. I took her hand slowly and reassuringly. "Tell us the whole story, Jani," I prompted. The curiosity burned at me. Her eyes flickered around the now circle of werewolves around us; she was frantic. Jani blurted out one statement in her panic._

_"I'm a werewolf!"_

* * *

I stared at her, unblinkingly, as I thought this through. Rather, I _tried_ to think it through, but my mind went blank every time. I barely noticed the questions being shot off at Jani, like rapid-fire, until I saw her frown. Then, I could not resist taking her into my arms, rubbing her back soothingly. Surprisingly, pleasantly, she wrapped her arms around my torso and placed her head against my chest.

"Shut it!" I growled at the rest of them. The pack quieted down. I didn't register their faces—I only had eyes for Jani. She _was_ warm. That was weird. I guess it was because she was…a werewolf? I still couldn't get it through my head. It seemed illogical. Why? Leah was the only girl, and even then she had more Quileute than Jani. And Jani died. It hurt me to think it, but it was true—she _had_ died. Unless we'd all gone crazy and imagined it. There was a back-story to this, one we didn't know.

"I'm sorry," Jani whispered, hands closed in loose fists, which meant she was closed off to me emotionally. Why? I felt my heart sink just a little more.

"Why are you sorry?" I asked. "And how are you a werewolf?"

"I-I have to tell you all something," she murmured, pulling away from my embrace. She stood a mere five feet away now, but it felt like miles stretched between us. My heart sank again.

"Are we getting _answers?_" someone asked. I didn't care. Why was Jani putting so much distance between us?

"Yes, you're getting answers," she retorted. Then she looked down at the ground for a moment before meeting their gazes with a fierce determination. "I am a werewolf."

"H—" Before Sam could ask how, Jani held a hand up.

"I'm not like you guys," she interrupted. "I wasn't changed to a wolf because of some stupid vampire." A pause. "And I don't feel totally comfortable telling this to all of you as a pack, so pick a person or two and you'll find out by the pack plural later." Sam stepped forward with a stern nod at the others, who made sounds of disgruntlement but headed back to the bonfire.

"Embry?" Sam said. I nodded slowly, walking towards Jani again. She spared me a glance before turning and walking down the beach, away from the bonfire. Sam followed after her, and I followed after them, feeling a twinge of rejection that I tried to suppress as best I could.

Before I knew it, we were near the highest cliff—the one we usually dive off of—and Jani leaned against the trunk of a tree nearby. Sam stood in front of her, pacing, and I stayed awkwardly to the side, gazing at Jani and wishing she'd look at me, but she seemed pointedly not doing so.

"How are you alive?" Sam inquired, still pacing, but more slowly. Jani took a deep breath.

"Pass." Sam stopped and snapped his gaze up to her.

"What?"

"Pass," she repeated. "Next question." I thought Sam was going to blow up for a second, but he kept his cool and turned back to the darkness over the edge of the cliff.

"What do you mean, you're a werewolf?"

"It'll be easier if I just start at the beginning," she murmured, closing her eyes. "Alright. Well, after what happened in the clearing… See, the thing is, before he snapped my neck, I used astral projection—I think so, anyway. I dunno. But that's not the point. Basically, my soul was out, but my body was dead." I flinched, clenching my hands. Jani continued nevertheless, as if she'd rehearsed this before. "So what happened was that I forgot everything. It was days before I remembered any of it, who I was and all—my soul was weak, and I was wandering. I didn't know it, `cause, you know, you never know it in astral form. So when I remembered, and when I looked around to see where I'd gone, it was a bit of a shock for me. See, I remember living somewhere near Arizona once in my life, long ago as a little girl, but I wasn't used to it at _all_. It was so sunny in that place. Desert. Dry.

"When I realized that I _could_ feel those things, I was confused. I didn't know what was going on. I was forgetting who I was, all over again. But I kept wandering, because for some reason I felt pulled to this place.

"The Navajo Nation became my home for nearly a month," she recalled, speaking as if she were still there. Jani's voice held a mystic, homey yearning in it as she spoke. "There's a reservation, see, and then there's us. We made our home in the desert of the Navajo Nation—not very big and not very far from the reservation, but isolated enough for us to find peace."

"Who's _us_?" I asked, suddenly feeling a pang of jealousy. Some other people had Jani for a month when I thought she was dead—when I so yearned for her but never got her. Not until now, that is, if that.

Jani's eyes flew open and she frowned at me for interrupting. "Let me continue and you'll find out," she remarked hotly. I exhaled sharply, feeling something like a blow to my chest. The sharp words of my imprint, my soul mate, hurt. But I kept myself together to listen to her tell her story. "When I had reached that little place, hidden in the desert, someone found me right away. She smiled and called out to somebody else that they'd gotten another one.

"It was confusing at first—I didn't know any of their customs, didn't know what they were talking about, _none _of their secrets…but, somehow, I fit in. They accepted me. At first, they kept certain things from me, but as I began to trust them and tell them about myself they began to tell me things in return.

"In the Navajo Nation, on the borders between the main villages and the United States (because, technically, we aren't in United States jurisdiction), there's a large community of guardians. At least, that's how they think of themselves. There are different kinds of people in different areas, and I had landed myself in the Coyote Lands. They explained to me that they did things for the good of the Navajo society, but that they themselves were seen as outcasts by most of them. Still, it was their birthright, their destiny to become great as they were."

"If they were protecting the people…why were they outcasts?" Sam inquired. Jani paused and looked over at him, almost staring _through _him.

"Why are _you _outcasts?" she refuted. There was a pregnant pause, and she spoke again. "Exactly. They were different. They were strong. Some people knew what they were, and some people didn't believe that. But everyone felt they were pariahs."

"How were they different?" I asked. "Like us?" Jani's eyes caught mine and I felt a spark ignite in the pit of my stomach. I straightened up and walked closer to her. In a second, I saw her composure slip—in her eyes shone panic for a split-second—before she regained it.

"Yes, Embry, they are," she answered, her voice wavering minutely. I think Sam was analyzing this, but in my mind he wasn't even here. Jani looked away from my gaze for a moment.

"They're werewolves?" Sam asked. Jani looked up and around, as if considering it.

"Not…exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"Well…like you guys aren't werewolves, you're shape shifters. They're kind of like that, except with more flexibility…" Jani trailed off, probably thinking over how to phrase it.

"How are _you _a…werewolf?" Sam asked instead.

"Well, it was…my way. It was what I chose," she replied. "See, when new people get there—alright, well, basically, the people I'm talking about are Navajo people who can use astral projection, or who were once able to, I should say. None of us, I think, can actually astral project anymore. A lot of us have died at some point, too—I think you can only die once."

"You're saying that they could project like you could?" I asked. Then I backtracked. "Wait, you can't project anymore?" She shook her head, and I was mentally cheering. Though I'm not sure being a werewolf was much better.

"_Anyways_," Jani stated, "I'll explain it like they did. If you're at least half-Navajo, connected to certain clans who at one point could use astral projection, and if you can astral project, you can die and come back at some point. The thing is, very few Navajos today actually use astral projection, so much so that it's barely spoken of and lots of children don't know about it. Those that can project are lucky—I guess, if that's what you'd call it.

"When you die, your soul sort of…detaches…or the astral cord snaps. Then you're sorta drifting for a bit, becoming solid and all. Your soul knows the way back to its homeland, but it might take a few days before you're there. During those days, your soul…_solidifies_, I think. I'm not sure if that's the right term, but I do know that you begin to feel things, as if you were human and in your body.

"When I got to the Navajo Nation, when they found me, I was brought into the clan like an old friend—like family. After a few days to adjust to finding myself at least somewhat human, and _alive_, they made me find…well, this is where the story gets confusing.

"See, after you arrive, after you've settled, you have to have an actual body. Otherwise, you're like a—a ghost or something. Kind of like plasma or something. But you can't live like that, because you start to fade away after a while. So we all find our…guardians, I suppose. They call it that—guardians—just like they call themselves."

I could tell she was stalling. It was all about stalling. Jani didn't really want to tell us this. That kind of hurt, but what could I do? Maybe she was sworn to secrecy or something. I didn't like it—I wanted her to tell me everything, let me protect her… I couldn't do that if I didn't know everything.

"Just tell us, Jani," I breathed, reaching for her hand. It was warm—so her temperature was probably warmer than mine, which was a bit surprising. Jani took a deep breath.

"Well, we find our animals—our spirit guardians. Like you guys with your wolf forms…we have our own. Some people have chosen, but most were chosen by their guardians. It's a lot like your wolves, actually. We share their body, their instincts. We are one."

I couldn't speak. It was a lot to take in. Sam did speak. "You're a wolf, then? What other animal—guardians—are there?"

"Yeah, I'm a wolf," Jani answered wryly. "There are many others. One of my good friends, she's a coyote girl. There are eagles, a couple foxes, even bears and cougars, owls and crows. They say the wolves and coyotes are the best, though, and there's more of us."

For a moment there was silence. None of us really knew what to say. I was begging, yearning to know something, but I couldn't ask it. It would seem…rude? It would seem like I didn't want her here, when in reality that I was all I ever cared for. But in the end, I had to ask her.

"If you were there…with them…what are you doing back here?" A shadow passed over her face when I broke the silence with this question, and she snatched her hand out of mine.

"I'm letting you guys know," Jani said, frowning. She pushed herself away from the tree trunk and moved away, her features looking slightly wild. She stood at the edge of the cliff, staring over the ocean, for a moment before turning back and moving past us into the woods. I immediately followed, and registered Sam coming up behind us.

"Where are you going?"

"Away," she replied curtly. "I'm not supposed to be here, and I hate it. But I just had to come back, to tell you guys I was alive."

"You're _leaving_?" my fists clenched as I ran after her. Her footsteps quickened, but I was able to keep up with her in an instant. Forget Sam—forget the pack—forget the world—this was me and her. We needed to talk. She couldn't leave—I needed her—I loved her—I wanted her—I would without her, especially knowing she was alive and I couldn't have her.

"I have to leave."

"_No_, no, you _don't_," I insisted, grabbing onto her wrist and wrapping my arms around her—locking her in my embrace. It was both satisfying and heartbreaking. I missed her…her scent invaded my mind, and my mind was foggy before I forced myself to concentrate.

"Let me go, Embry," she whispered, her eyes closed. "I need to go back."

"…why?" Even I hated my voice. It was broken; all my grief, all my desperation, all my emotions were thrown into it, and if I didn't hold it back I would've started crying. Jani stopped resisting and let herself relax, defeated and just as desperate as I was. But she had tears on her cheeks.

"I have a job to do…"

"Jani, you can't leave…"

"I belong there. They need me."

"You belong _here_," I whispered. "Please don't leave me again." Jani looked up at me, and my eyes scanned her face. There were tears running down her cheeks, wetting her eyelashes, making her eyes glisten… She had such a hopeless expression, such a conflicted one. I wanted to make the pain go away. Her pain tore at my heart. And even for all the world, I wouldn't take imprinting away—I loved the pain because I loved her, and I wanted her happy. And I needed to make her happy now.

"Embry, you don't understand…" Jani's voice grew meeker. What had happened to her that had changed her so much?

"If you don't like it there, you don't have to go back—you can stay here, with me, with the pack. Sam might make you run patrols and stuff, but it'll be great back here…won't you like that, Jani?"

"I can't, Em. You don't get it. It's just—I can't."

"Jani, dammit, yes, you _can_. Like I said, you can stay here, in La Push. You don't have to go back—"

"Embry!" she interrupted. "I _like _it there, okay? And I have friends back there, too, you know! It's just…I _can't_ leave. There's certain traditions that have to be followed—I _have _to help my people—I can't abandon them—"

"Like you abandoned us?" I retorted, then instantly regretted it. My anger had flared up, and so had Jani's. This wasn't good. She glared at me and fought to get out of my arms, but I wouldn't let go. I tightened my grip, even while she dug her nails into my arms. "I'm s—"

"Don't even _try _to say you're sorry!" I winced. "I _know _you are, okay? And _I'm_ sorry." With a huff of frustration, she slumped against me, exasperated. "I know, okay? And I just—just _had _to get back—to see you…er, to see you all."

"Janiya…" I cupped her chin and made her look up at me. "Why are you so hellbent on ignoring me—ignoring the imprint?"

"My wolf-ness isn't like yours, so technically the imprint's probably still one-way," she muttered sharply. I flinched, feeling a sense of dread grow in me, more so than before. Did she not love me anymore? No—no, I couldn't believe that…she _had _to be acting…right? Why? She had to love me…didn't she? The imprint…

"Jani—"

"I just can't, Embry, it's too confusing."

"Do you love me?"

"What?"

"Do you still love me?"

"What…" Her breath caught. "Embry…"

"Answer me," I insisted. "Please. I need to know."

"Yes, Embry."

"'Yes', what?" Jani gave me a look that clearly said, 'are you serious?'

"Yes, Embry," she said, as if she were speaking to a seven-year-old, but then her tone softened. "I still love you."

So I did the natural thing to do—I kissed her. My arms were no longer restraining but embracing as they fell to her waist and pulled her to me. Her sweet lips, her hands, her body—I missed her so much. I loved her so much. Jani reached for my hair, twisting the locks in her fingers and pulling me closer to her.

"Then do me favor."

"What?"

"Never leave me," I murmured, running my hand along her back. Jani took a shaky breath.

"I can't make any promises," she replied with a wry laugh.

"Why not?"

"It's too complicated."

"Then un-complicate it."

Another shaky breath. "That's asking too much."

"Is it?" I questioned. Was it really? Couldn't she just _explain_? I mean…I was her soul mate. I would understand…or at least _try _to understand anything and everything she wanted me to…except maybe physics.

"Embry," Jani insisted again, "I just…can't…"

"Why not?" She should be able to tell me anything. She was my _only_. My imprint.

Jani bit her lip and stared at me in silence, her dark eyes growing wet with unshed tears. "It would hurt you too much." I felt my breath leave me for a moment. I feared the worst. What happened? She still loved me—of that, I should be certain. _Should_.

"I can handle it," I refuted, pressing my lips to her forehead. Janiya exhaled against my neck, sending shivers up my spine.

"I'm… I… There's—"

A snarl ripped from the forest behind us. My arms tightened around her waist as Jani flinched. It was probably just the pack, I figured, but my arms didn't loosen. I didn't think this was the pack. Not my pack, not the guys. Besides, it was just _one _growl.

A figure appeared out of the thicker forest. He was tall, like I was, but a little shorter. His skin was more bronzed than russet, and he was built differently than us. I wasn't sure how, but he did look different. He was angry. Primal.

"Ni," he growled out, glaring, not at me, but at Jani. I held her even tighter, stepping just so. I shielded her, slightly, from him, growling back. His eyes like coal snapped to me challengingly. Jani turned in my arms and tried to get free, but I wouldn't let her go. Was she crazy? This guy was obviously something like a werewolf, and I wouldn't let him anywhere _near _her, especially not since he looked furious at her. And what did he call her? _Ni_? What the hell?

"Embry, stop," Jani hissed.

"Who are you?" I demanded of him. He only glared at me. Jani dug her nails into my arms and I winced. She moved away from me and stood between us.

"Embry, this is…Nastas," she said. "He is the leader of my pack."

"What?" Why would her leader hurt her? Or threaten her?

"He came to bring you home," another voice, one that sounded adventurous and callow, bounced out of the woods behind us. A young girl prowled out of the forest in a steady gait, watching Jani with large, almond-shaped brown eyes.

"Hey, Mae," Jani greeted somewhat tiredly. The girl beamed, managing not to look girlish and immature.

"Hey, Iya!" She smiled toward her before she made an attempt to make a serious face. Jani frowned only slightly, as if annoyed.

"What's going on?" I demanded. Jani was just standing around awkwardly, as if annoyed by the girl and uncomfortable because of—what's-his-face? Nasty?—Nastas.

The girl turned to me, her heart-shaped face inclined in my direction. "Iya has to come with us," she said quietly.

"No," I growled. "Why? Why makes you think you need her more than I do?"

"Embry, stop going on the offensive," Jani murmured, placing a hand against my chest.

"Nastas cannot answer you," the girl—Mae?—chirped, ignoring my outburst as if she were used to such things.

"Why not?"

"He cannot speak to you. You are not of his kind, so you will not understand. Plus, you're not worthy in his eyes for even an attempt." A feral snarl ripped out of my throat. In the back of my mind, I knew that I felt more like Paul than myself.

"You can't just take her back," I argued.

"Actually, they can," Jani mentioned flatly, with a slight grimace on her features. The hole Jani's "death" had left in my chest reopened at the mere threat of her leaving. I took her by the shoulders.

"And you're not even protesting?" There was a pain, coupled with slight anger, in me. She was allowing herself to be taken away? For what?

"You don't understand—"

"Then make me understand."

Jani glowered. She looked back toward Nastas, who was waiting impatiently, clenching and unclenching his fists. Then, Jani began speaking. I couldn't understand her—her words were lissome and glib, and Nastas seemed to understand them. He grew angrier and responded, but his words sounded harsher and sharper in comparison. Jani and Nastas began yelling about something, arguing.

"What are they talking about?" I asked the girl, wanting to interrupt the discussion but not wanting to get on Jani's bad side any more than I already was.

"Hmm?" She turned towards me. "Oh. Well…um…she's asking for a few days or weeks here to calm the situation…mmm…he's arguing that—…oh, I don't think she'll be able to stay. But we need her there, you know, so…" She shook her head just as Jani got the last word—Nastas had paused at something, either stumped, shocked, or thoughtful.

"What happened now?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, well…" The girl bit her lip, her brows knitted. "I, um, I think he's gonna let her stay." This lifted a great weight off my shoulders. I was about to respond, but Jani turned back to me.

"Embry, we're going to go now, okay?" I flinched. She was leaving? What? But— "Er—no! Not—not me. I mean—I meant—you and I, we're going to head back to—head back home, okay?" Jani took my hand and a smile immediately parted my face.

I looked back at Nastas and the girl—he was glaring and she shrugged. Jani barked something at him in their language and his eyes narrowed but he retreated until there was no sight of him. The girl bounced up to us.

"Hi!" she chirped.

"Yeah, you already said that…" Jani deadpanned. I had the feeling that she didn't really like this girl.

"Can you explain all this to me?" I interrupted.

"Well!" said the girl before Jani could start. "See, Jani joined our pack of soul animal shifters not too long ago. Nastas is the leader of our branch, the wolves, and he, er, takes his job pretty seriously. No cubs get lost. Or should, anyway. Jani kind of ran away from her job back at the Navajo Nation."

"That's not true!" Jani interjected. "You know why I left, and it wasn't because of what we do!"

"Alright, alright, I'm just telling the story Nastas has given the rest of us." Jani groaned. I rubbed her arm comfortingly.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Me? I'm Jazmae Nizhoni—that's like _Jahz-may Nih-zhjo-nee_, but you can just call me _Jazzy_, though Janiya doesn't, so I call her _Iya_—"

"He gets it," Jani stated flatly. Jazzy seemed not to have heard her.

"So, basically, I'm here to keep an eye on her until—until she decides it's time to go back."

"She's _not _going back," I insisted. Jazzy just shrugged.

"According to you. But _I'm_ here to make sure she doesn't run off with you. And trust me, I _will_ make sure of that."

* * *

I sat staring at her, my love. My eyes never strayed from her, and she never looked away from me. I wished we weren't so far apart in the living room. I wished we weren't in such an awkward situation, at Paul's house because that was the only place I could think of where there would be no one to intrude on us at the moment. The silence was awkward enough without others coming in and making it even more pronounced with all their odd attempts at reconciliation or whatever.

"I love you," I had said a while ago. Maybe an hour ago. I was desperate. It didn't matter that she didn't respond. Seeing Jani almost have to leave…again…it was painful. Every day since her "death" had been painful, but this day was at the very least manageable in comparison.

"Will you two _say_ something? This is pretty boring!" exclaimed Jazzy, throwing her arms up in the air. She had been sitting on a chair somewhat between Jani and I, and now stood up and shoved it away. For the first time, Jani tore her eyes away from our stare off and glared at Jazzy.

"Will you shut your trap?" she hissed. I didn't even flinch. Jani was angrier than when she'd left—I'd noticed this various times today—and I was already getting used to it. I wasn't sure if that was good or not.

"Excuse me, Jan," Jazzy muttered, more quietly, trying to defuse this bomb. "But, really, you're just _staring _at each other. It's horribly awk—"

"Yes, yes, it's awkward, we get that!" Jani groaned and buried her face in her hands. "Oh, _please_, Jazz, just go and give us a few minutes."

"Sure, sure," she replied easily, completely over whatever had just happened. With an easygoing grin, she headed for the door. "Ten minutes. No running. Oh, and, sorry for the screaming thing."

"Mmhm," Jani murmured noncommittally as Jazzy left. After a moment, she looked up at me, her eyes dark. I immediately rushed forward and knelt by her place on the couch, holding her hands in mine and staring up into her eyes.

"We have a lot to settle," I said. She nodded. "Tell me. What were you going to tell me before we got interrupted?" Jani frowned. She knew this was the moment the truth came out. I thought I could handle it.

I was wrong.

"I've been promised to someone."

"…_what?_" Those words were never good. Not to mention they sounded…well, I'd rather not make assumptions.

"…It's just, for the safety of the tribe…I have to. My mom was pretty high up in social ranks

, or would have been, if she had been a soul shifter."

"Soul shifter?"

"It's what we call ourselves…unofficially." She smiled wistfully. "Our animal guardians, they're part of our soul. Like the part that's been out in the world, allowing us to project. There's a lot of different theories on why and how. But basically, we meet take their form—they are part of us. We shift into them. Like you and your wolf-self. Only, ours is a bit more complicated. And there's more than just wolves. Mine was a wolf. Like I said before, there's _tons _of different animals."

"Alright…. Now, about that _promised to _thing?"

"I'm supposed to be his wife. Nastas's. His female Alpha, in wolf terms."

"_What_? Jani—how—" I trailed off. I was gonna get a heart attack from all these devastating blows to the heart—I was lucky I hadn't dropped dead yet. I groaned and laid my head in her lap, calming down only slightly when Jani began treading fingers through my hair.

"We'll figure this out," she said. I exhaled. That _we_sent a small feeling of reassurance. It completely and utterly sucked to be so powerless as I felt in that moment.

"_That's_why you said you had to leave?"

"Yes. That's also why he came, himself, with Jazmae as backup, and why he left her here, watching me. This was personal. If it were another soul shifter, he'd send a team of three to look for them. But no one really leaves, anyway."

"Is it really that great?" I asked in a small voice. She took a few seconds to respond.

"It's not terrible. I would have loved it, on other terms." Jani wryly smiled at me. "_Anywhere_would be tough to like when your imprinter is so far away." I grinned.

"So I take it you missed me?"

"Obviously."

I leaned up to kiss her, and she draped her arms over my shoulders. In my mind, we were good. We were fixed, at least for that moment. Emotionally, I was very shaken by today's events. Part of me still focused on the fact that she was "promised" to Nastas, but that same part didn't believe it. I knew it had to be true, but I couldn't bring myself to think it.

"Times up!" came the shrill yell of Jazzy. Jani and I broke apart quickly. Jani huffed and crossed her arms as Jazzy came bounding back into the house. I sat beside her, placing a hand on her arm, and glanced at Jazzy. The girl was lounging on the sofa chair now, grinning mischievously. "You know, if you weren't against the rules, you'd be adorable. As it is, Iya, you should probably keep the kissing to a minimum. Nastas won't like it."

Jani scowled, as did I.

"Also—you should tell the other werewolves," Jazzy continued, absently twirling a stray lock of hair. "They'll want to know why you're not staying long."

I growled. "You—"

"Don't slay the messenger," Jazmae interrupted nonchalantly. "Were it my decision, I'd let her stay. As it is, I don't even rank high enough to influence his decision." Getting up fluidly, she headed for the bedrooms—or where she thought the bedrooms were, I supposed. "I hope your pal doesn't mind, but I'm crashing here tonight." Then she was gone. Or in some bedroom.

"Is she always like this?" I asked.

"Mostly."

"Good thing Paul has the night shift, then."

"Yeah, I don't reckon he'd be too glad to see a random girl in his b—actually…"

* * *

**First of all, I would like to formally apologize to all of my readers.**

**I'm sorry.**

**Next, I'll give excuses that are actually no excuse at all.**

**I had a lot of schoolwork, I've been prepping for high school next year, I have a ton of things to get ready for (events to come) in May, and I've had a bit of trouble (or a LOT of it) with the chapter. I couldn't find a way to write it. I did a oneshot with Seth and an OC and another werewolf (it's on my page, aptly named "I'm Sorry, Angel"), and a review there reminded me not to forget about _Guidance_. I'm so glad for it, because that's why I decided to try, yet again, at writing this, but with a new determination for this chapter.**

**I know where I want it to go. Sort of. I see how the story ends. I see the epilogue. I see that Point B (now) came from Point A (chapters before Embry's POV), and that it will get to Point C (the end/epilogue), but I don't see Line BC. That's kind of my problem—it's a dotted line, that kind of changes, so I guess it could even be a parabola.**

**Anyways, PLEASE review and give me ideas and BUG ME about updating, or else I will totally disappear. And I NEED to finish this before August, because in high school, I really will be too busy with schoolwork in my advanced curriculum. So yeah. Review!**

**_~HunnyABee_  
**


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